Readers
Forum
Feedback is essential to me as an author and I hugely
appreciate the messages and comments that you’ve emailed to me and
in a few cases posted on www.thaivisa.com. Please keep them coming, sending
them to arhicks56@hotmail.com.
I have posted all of the comments I have received so far, including rude ones and I always reply to you personally. If you have sent me something and not had a reply, then I must have missed it, so please send it again. (Incidentally, andrew@thaigirl2004.com is a nightmare as I get about forty spam messages a day.)
If you scroll down, you’ll find comments on MY THAI GIRL AND I,
the story of my five years in Thailand with Cat, and then about my earlier
novel, THAI GIRL further down.
Recent messages about "My Thai Girl and I" and "Thai Girl"
Sent to: arhicks56@hotmail.com
Message
78
Hi Andrew,
A quick email to say that I’ve just finished MY THAI GIRL AND
I, and I
really enjoyed it.
I have read other books about ex-pats in Thailand
and yours is by far the best. I could identify with much of it.
My wife and I left our village after four years because of work, and
it
not being the place where we wanted to raise our child. I do miss it
though and often reading your book reminded me of this. Lopburi is
great, but different. Thanks again.
Good luck.
Paul G
Message
77
Dear Andrew,
Firstly congratulations on writing yet another fantastic book. I first
read THAI GIRL in 2006 and posted on the Forum then ( Message 50).
I have just returned from Thailand where I picked up your new book, MY
THAI GIRL AND I as I had been following some of your adventures on your
Blog. It only took me one day to complete the book as I was so wanting
to find out every little story you had to tell.
I am sure that you will revisit my post to remind you self, so here is
the update. I
am still with my Thai girl (Suthida) and we are going strong. It was
funny as I was reading your book as I kept coming across little things
that I too have had to encounter.
My girlfriend also enjoyed the book and like Cat she could not understand
why you
bought such an old Jeep, but i am glad that you kept it even after getting
the new
pick up.
From reading your blog, Cat really has got the building bug, and it was
great to see that she has put the New House to such good use to educate
children. If she gives any of them a better start in life due to an understanding
of English then it will be a big achievement.
Keep up the hard work and the Blog [www.thaigirl2004.blogspot.com].
Martin
Message
76
I loved the book (MY THAI GIRL AND I).
I find it hard to believe though that a person can acclimatize as well
as you appear to have, in such a "primitive/difficult" (to
me) lifestyle after a well travelled and professional background. For
a holiday or research, great, but with the intricacies of Thai culture
and language you have done something very difficult.
I have visited Thailand on a number of occasions, but only as a tourist.
I would believe that "farang" are not fully accepted there,
just as certain migrants are not totally accepted in other countries.
Although, males, I believe, would be more easily accepted because of
the tradition of supportive husband/financial support person to extended
family than females. It seems to me than Thailand is not the only country
though where young ladies seek out older, wiser, and more financial
gentlemen to help support families.
Please keep continuing to write about your lifestyle and I will look
at the blog for continuation of your wonderful story. Well done.
I was really engrossed in the book. It was so very real. At times I
could almost hear the locals talking about us, safe in the knowledge
that we do not understand them.
What will happen when age catches up with you though? Will the village
be able to care for you?
Best Regards, and thank you for writing the book.
Sue R.
Message
75
Hello Andrew,
I have read your book 'MY THAI GIRL AND I' and I must say I love it.
In the first place, because everything you wrote and what happened to
you happened to me in a more or less similar way and I really like how
polite and diplomatic you put in words the things that drive some of
us crazy.
You really have a hand to describe the things out there.
Just finished a house for the Thai family upcountry and hope in a few
years to come back for good.
Again congratulation's on your good book and to find your way of
living out there and thanks that you share it with us.
Your book (so I hope) will help me to stay 'jai yen yen' in all that
difficult situations that maybe occur now and in the future.
Best regards,
Uwe B.
Message
74
Hello Andrew,
I was recently in Bangkok to see my Thai girlfriend, Cat. We are about
the same ages as you and I got great pleasure and better understanding
of what I
was involved in from reading " MY THAI GIRL AND I".
I really enjoyed it, thank you for being so open. I no longer feel so
alone when I have those frustrating moments with Cat, who I have to say
is a very talented hardworking lady who has just completed her second
masters degree whilst working in a pressure job full time. I
love the Bangkok way of life but always find it so relaxing to return
to New Zealand's wide open spaces and quiet traffic.
Thanks again and I wish you all the best for the future with your Cat.
Regards Bruce
Message
73
Dear Mr Hicks,
I can confirm that one now well-read copy of 'MY THAI GIRL AND I' has indeed washed up on the shores of the treasured islands of Samoa. The book was passed to me by a long-term expat living here. He purchased it on a short visit to Thailand in April in preparation for a permanent relocation from Samoa to Thailand.
The expat is married to an Isaan girl and so regarded the book as essential reading. A text book nonetheless!! He handed it over to me eventually because I too am married to an Isaan girl.
Yours sincerely,
Michael D.
Message
72
Howdy Andrew,
I have just finished reading "MY THAI GIRL AND I". A great
read. I have just returned from a
trip to Thailand where I stayed in a village with my in-laws.
I have stayed in a village in Nong Khai between So Pisai and Fao Lai
and there are so many similarities between life in this village and your
village life. From signing up new monks
to trying to get to town in a vehicle without the rest of the village
wanting a lift as well,
family funerals, trying to have beer in the fridge without the rest of
the village knowing,eating buckets of som tum, frogs,placenta soup,tacatan.
The dog man from Sakon Nakon the sister-in-law getting out of pigs due
to the price of food etc. etc.etc.
My wife is due back to Aust in 6 weeks and I have ordered a copy of "THAI GIRL".
Thanks for a look into your life. it was a great read and an interesting
comparison to life in Thailand as I know it. Thank-you and please keep
writing.
Chok-Dee
Craig G S
Message
71
Hi Andrew
I bought MY THAI GIRL AND I back in May and really enjoyed it. I read it twice, so I really got my monies worth.
The song you quoted at the beginning of the book was Donovan and not Dylan ,but I suppose you have been told that by now.
Good luck with your life in Thailand.
Regards
Sean.
ps I enjoy your blog, www.thaigirl2004.blogspot.com nearly as much as the book.
Message
70
Hi Andrew.
I too hope that Ben and Yut make [a life for themselves with their new shop in your village which you’ve just told us about on www.thaigirl2004.blogspot.com].
After reading "MY THAI GIRL AND I" I have found myself really caring about what happens to people in the book who I have never met and am never likely to. That’s maybe why I enjoyed it more than "Thai Girl". Because it’s about real people.
All the best.
Mick
Message
69
Hi
A few words of appreciation, to say how much I enjoyed reading your latest
book, MY THAI GIRL AND I.
It’s a shared experience for me, especially as I have just finished
building a house in Sakon Nakhon. Therefore you are more than welcome
to stay if you need a proper bed for the night, a hot shower and a full
English breakfast. However one of the pitfalls may be, understanding
a Yorkshire Thai accent but what the hell!
As you don't want to become an alcoholic, have knee replacements or tend
buffalo all day, have you considered that other useless pastime of the
hoktegenarians, golf?
Thanks again for a few pleasant hours of reading.
Chok dii
Mal and Um
Message
68
Hello Mr. Hicks,
I came across MY THAI GIRL AND I a couple of weeks ago at the local
bookstore. As I was picking it up to read the back cover, my wife said "you
no waste your money on this book. You no like this kind of book" She
is right in a way. I usually stay away from "expat" books finding
them to be inaccurate, culturally limiting and often times extremely
stereotypical, especially the gross inaccuracies surrounding Thai women,
culture, and customs so I tend to stay clear of books in this "genre".
A few days ago we were back at the same bookstore. While my wife was
looking at baby magazines I wandered over to the "Asia Books" section
and finally read the back cover of MY THAI GIRL AND I. I decided to
shell out the 450 baht and am so glad I did.
"MY THAI GIRL AND I" is probably the best book I have ever
read, not just about Issan but Thailand in general. You never sound like
an "authority" or egotistical. You wrote a book that was thought
provoking, sincere, and objective.
Your book sort of parallels my life to a certain extent. My wife attended
Ramkhumhang University and we lived in Ramkhumhang (soi 22). She is
still 5 credits shy of her degree. Our dog is a product of Chatuchack
market and I have experienced the "marathons" with my wife.
OK, I can go on and on, but I wanted to ask you where i can pick up
a copy of "THAI GIRL"? The local bookstores in town are out
or "no have" at this time. I buy many of my books through
Kinokuniya.com in Bangkok. Do you know if they stock it?
[Yes, they do. Andrew.]
Warmest regards,
Patrick.
Message
67
Hi Andrew,
Just a quick note to say I enjoyed "MY THAI GIRL AND I" immensely. Overall it has a very positive feel and I laughed out loud in many places. I don't have the time to read a book from cover to cover in one go any more so I found the layout of short self-contained stories very convenient when I only had an hour or so.
I started the book in Wichianburi hospital waiting for Mike to be born. Needless to say none of it registered, so I started again from the beginning when I returned to England.
I have a terrible memory, which I put down to being thrown off a horse when I was 13. Reading your stories reminded me of so many things that have happened to Kai and I. So many experiences that are "same same, but different."
If you get bored now you have finished the book, why not translate it into Thai? Then Kai can read it rather than me summarising chunks for her (joking).
Although I am learning to go with the flow and not get wound up about things, one was absolutely set in stone, building our house. It was all so simple. Until I retire in January and commute some of my pension, I have no money. Therefore no house until next year. The plan was fool proof. Retire, build house, downsize house in England to small terrace, replace money in bank as a safety net for things like unforseen medical expenses. I could also keep a very inexpert eye on the builders, whilst living with the in-laws.
I had been on at Kai a bit saying we should at least start looking for a builder. A couple of weeks ago,two days before we returned to England, a builder from Bangkok turned up with Wattana, his local site manager (I think). I still had a bit of a fever and things were going over my head. We already had a good idea of the floor plan from a book I bought months ago. The builder had the same book so this was quickly decided. I couldn't understand why we needed to choose the colour of the roof tiles at this early stage, but did so anyway. Then the local headman came round and after studying a calendar decided that 10th August 2008 was the luckiest day of the year to raise the first post. The old people (i.e. about my age) all looked at the calendar and agreed. Even Kai, the only person who knows the state of my finances, sided with the opposition. Anyway I only had to pay 500,000 to start, a further 500,000 in a couple of months and the balance in January. What rich farang doesn't keep that sort of loose change in his back pocket?
Just to rub it in, the 2009 calendar was checked. January was a complete no no. We could start building in February, but the first lucky day to move in would not be until September. Eight months of living with the in-laws and eating the worst Issan food this side of Issan.
So in two days it was done and dusted. We visited a couple of farang houses Wattana had already built and which were to a perfectly good standard, agreed the floor plan, fittings and electrics and Kai signed the contract. A phone call to my bank and the first 500,000 baht was winging it's way to Wattana's acount. I have decided not to open my bank statements for the next few months.
Finally, the American just got lucky. Most of Phetchabun is flat, but you can see the hills and it is certainly a bit cooler than the north east.
All the best.
Mick
Message
66
I finished “MY THAI GIRL AND I” last week and found it a very enjoyable read. While there’s nothing in Andrew’s tone to suggest he’s preaching his point of view, I found there was a lot of wisdom in the book to be applied to making a life, my life, in Thailand.
The book is in a lot of respects a collection of essays that go roughly chronologically over a period of a few years. From meeting his future wife, to the first village visits, to moving there and building a house. Like many of us, he’s at an age where the days past are less than those ahead and he takes thoughtful stock of the implications in making his life in Issan.
Recently I bought a house, (or more correctly I should say I bought my Thai wife a house), that needs a fair amount of remodeling. It’s so easy to get frustrated with the standards, the approach, the family and friends who come to help out, my Thai wife’s concept of things – you name it and it’s possible to go stark raving mad.
The book was a good companion as I shared Andrew’s tribulations and how he comes around to the important lessons to be learned in adapting and accepting, of knowing when to stand your ground and when to let it slide a bit and perhaps most importantly to know when you’ve’ been beat fair and square by your Thai partner’s unassailable logic and big smile and thus to beat a strategic retreat while you still have a modicum of honor. I could laugh and cry with him as I experience similar adventures.
I consider this book worthwhile, if not required, reading for any farang dreaming of moving out to the village or to Thailand with his Thai partner and especially if building a house. If you’ve done it I’m sure you’ll be like me thinking “yes, yes it was exactly like that!”. Andrew speaks with heartfelt honestly about his frustrations in the village, with his family, getting things done, isolation, language, retirement – the whole kaleidoscope of life.
All things that we expats wail about he expresses with a realistic view on the way things are and a wise outlook that it is after all a different culture he’s stepped into. He shares a very personal inner perspective on the journey of life and why he is there – that place, people and time for this juncture of his life.
Check it out, I think you’ll enjoy it.
Valjean on www.thaivisa.com
Message
65
I have also read "MY THAI GIRL AND I", and would thoroughly recommend it to anyone living in Thailand or considering doing so - as Valjean says, it falls into the "required reading" category.
Those of us who have already had some of the experiences described in Hicks' book, will smile and perhaps feel comforted that they are not alone. He writes about some of the difficulties and frustrations we all encounter, but with empathy and humour, with the result that the book does not descend into a gripe. Those who have not yet made the move, will perhaps learn something about what to anticipate.
I had read and enjoyed Hicks' novel, "THAI GIRL", which was why I bought the latest, autobiographical, work, as soon as it appeared on the shelves. I have no interest in books which simply criticise Thailand and Thai people; those attitudes are far too frequently encountered everywhere. But from his novel I was sure that the new book would have a more positive outlook - and although he does not shy away from describing his negative experiences, the author compensates with his humour, candidly admitting defeat on more than one occasion.
My summary is: "great book, read it".
Cheers,Mike.Phibunmike on www.thaivisa.com
Message
64
As I also live in an isolated Isaan village there were many things in Andrew Hick's book "MY THAI GIRL AND I" that I could easily relate to from my experiences - some of his reactions to various situations may have been completely different to mine but in being able to see myself in many of his experiences provided me with many moments of appreciation and enjoyment.
The day to day challenges, frustrations and fun of living here are never ending and so I envy the fact that someone has the capacity to capture some of these experiences.
As the book is non-fiction and a great attempt to share a farang's experiences of village life in the North-East of Thailand, I believe many people like me will appreciate and enjoy sharing his experiences.
Pab on www.thaivisa.com
Message
63
Just finished "MY THAI GIRL AND I" and I thought that it was a great read. Much better than most books I have read on "expat life", so kudos to Mr. Hicks.
I would even go so far as to say that it is the best book that I have read in this category, unlike "Confessions of a Bangkok PI." which is probably the worst piece of trash ever printed (in my opinion). And who was responsible for that book coming to print?
Hmm. Oh yes, Stephen Leather.
Mitzi on www.thaivisa.com
Message
62
Hi Andrew
I have recently finished reading your book ‘MY THAI GIRL AND I’.
Your website
seems to be devoted to comments about your first book ‘THAI GIRL’ which
I have not read. However I would like to share with you some of my thoughts
about your
latest publication.
In a typically English way I would like to start with the positive but I must
admit find it hard to come up with a great deal. However I did at least read
it
from cover to cover so something must have kept me turning the pages. I bought
the book because I felt it would be interesting to read a fellow ‘farang’
Englishman’s take on the Land of Smiles. I also vainly hoped you might
deliver
what is proclaimed in the sleeve notes ie ‘If you want to know what makes ‘Thai
girls’ tick, you’ve found it’. I should have known better.
Until the last few chapters in which you display a glimpse of insightfulness
you
portray yourself throughout the book as a complete doormat the typical innocent
abroad and Cat as a scheming and demented spendthrift. I would have thought
a
sexagenarian with your travel experience would have already discovered all
women
regardless of nationality are at least a little bit mad. Whether this is to
do
with conditioning or hormones or something else the only way to have any kind
of
successful relationship with them is to find one whose particular neurosis
you can
live with. In this regard you seem to have found a good partner in Cat.
One irritating feature in your writing is to continually justify your acquiescent
behaviour as ‘going with the flow’ and in so doing that you are
in some way
gaining a kind of spiritual enlightenment, as if getting a little closer to
nirvana (perhaps a hangover from your ‘self-actualisation through macramé’ days).
In reality you have just been had and taken advantage of which happens to us
all
on occasions. However you seem to revel in it and portray yourself as completely
spineless.
Some of the book’s chapters deal with topics I identify with and I completely
concur with your experiences with the British Embassy in Bangkok. Things have
somewhat changed since the time you wrote about. They now employ a private
company to handle visa applications and the whole process has become a money
making scam. I am currently trying to complain to my MP but am not making much
headway.
There are indeed too many funerals and where my particular Thai girl, Tik comes
from near Uttradict, there is a ceremony nearly every week. Like Cat her elder
sister ‘It’ (yes that was her nickname) died last year, she was
the same age as
me. I had only previously witnessed small portions of a Thai funeral ceremony
but
this time I see the whole week long ritual from the moment the body arrives
till
the final family gathering after the cremation. It is a fascinating, sad, happy,
tedious and sometimes just unbelievable event.
I too have been suckered into helping with the cost of building a grey concrete
wall and with the clearing and raising up of land with poor quality soil for
no
apparent reason. Thankfully there the similarities end. Tik has not ever
insisted I build her a house or provide one for her family yet she is the only
member of her family without property of her own. We currently rent a town
house
for £50 per month which suits us fine. I do intend to buy a house and
put it in
her name. However it will be one that is already built as there are far too
many
vacant properties in Thailand.
I too find myself short of money and in need of an income but I could never
be as
presumptuous as to assume anyone would wish to publish let alone read my own
journal of experiences living with a Thai lady in Chiang Mai. As it is I am
never
sure if they bore or entertain my friends with whom I currently share them
with.
I am not sure who are the intended readers of your book as in my experience
‘
farang’ already living here have too entrenched opinions about Thailand
to want
to read another persons impressions. Whilst people back in England may be
intrigued with life in the Land of Smiles tend not to be able to relate to
it and
also take the view that it is a place old men come to procure young women.
Last but not least the caricature of yourself on the cover bears little
resemblance to the photos of you. The caricature looks more like a bush
whacking Aussie.
Regards & Best wishes
Chris & Tik
Message
61
I've been a magazine writer and editor for the best part of twelve years and if I've learned anything it's that technically brilliant writing does not necessarily translate into compelling storytelling. Exceptional writers like John Burdett, who excel at both are just that: exceptional.
I read THAI GIRL off the back of a Haruki Murakami book and, perhaps inevitably after this, found the writing so pedestrian I was tempted to stop reading it immediately. However, I was quickly drawn into the story and this is where the author's talent really lies: he has a natural gift for narrative. No matter that there's no strong plot; the dialogue, at times, is verging on the ludicrous. (Andrew, I don't know where you did your research on 'yoof-speak' but it's pretty wide of the mark) and the characters mostly flat and in danger of degenerating into unsympathetic caricatures (although, in fairness, this is probably a more a consequence of the nature of the characters more than any defect in the ability of the writer). Despite these weaknesses, Hicks' raw talent for storytelling keeps the reader turning the pages and this is the prime directive in any kind of writing.
The real heart and soul of this book lies in the character of Fon (the 'Thai girl'). Beautifully observed and drawn, a striking metaphor for Thai culture itself, it is through her that Hicks adeptly explores the central theme of most books of this genre: the difficulty, frustration, pain and, perhaps ultimately, the futility of the foreigner trying to come to terms with the mercurial nature of Thailand. It is to his credit - and I believe displays and reflects the respect he has for this country - that he chose not to use the hackneyed milieu of the Bangkok bar scene as a vehicle to achieve this.
One thing I particularly enjoyed (and Andrew, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm sure parody wasn't actually your intention and I hope you don't take this the wrong way) was the 'travellers' in this book came off as what I've always believed them to be - witless cretins. Their asinine discussion of world politics and their eagerness to spew forth ill-informed gibberish on any subject I found hilariously accurate, as I'm sure would anyone with half a brain who's spent more than five seconds on Khao San Road or any of the islands.
I also applaud your bravery in how you handled the ending of the story (although I'm not sure how this will affect your film rights - it's not very 'Hollywood' is it?), but, as I believe you have mentioned somewhere in this thread, to soft-soap the end the the story would have been a cop-out and negated the main point of the book.
Anyway Andrew, if you happen to read this, well done for getting Thai Girl published. It's a good book and I'd recommend it to anyone. I'll certainly look out for your new book, MY THAI GIRL AND I.
mkasok on www.thaivisa.com
Message
61 - Andrew's Reply
I reply gratefully to all your comment, however received and I wrote a long and grateful one to mkasok for his about THAI GIRL. I was a bit defensive about the ‘yoof speak’ but said I’d worked pretty hard at getting this right, getting my son, Mike to read the draft novel and red pencil some of the lingo he thought wasn’t current. As a university lecturer in UK, I thought I was pretty much up to speed on yoof speak… i even went to Australia to research Strine and met many young American travelers. “Hey dude, that may sound hackneyed but it’s still cool, man!’ would you believe it!
And yes, I guess I was sending up the travelers a bit. They think they’re so cool and experienced, but infuriatingly they don’t have nearly as many wrinkles as me.
Thanks for all your nice comments, and incidentally I’ve signed an option agreement with a small film company in LA for THAI GIRL. I particularly like them because they think the ending is absolutely right for the story and want to keep it that way for the movie. If it ever gets shot, that is!
Andrew Hicks
Message
60
Dear Andrew,
What a fantastic novel you have written. Is there a follow up to THAI
GIRL about what happens with Fon and Ben?
I know Thailand very well so could picture all that you wrote.
Keep writing as you are superb at it.
Regards,
Richard
Message
59
Hi Andrew,
I have just bought your book, THAI GIRL (In Malaysia) last week and
even though I have not finished reading it, i already have mixed feelings
about the characters. I like Maca and Chuck but I hate the way Emma
treated Ben. She shouldn't be that jealous over Ben. I have a series
of books about bar girls from Singapore and Thailand itself, but your
book is the best.
Even though I have not finished reading it (couldn't find that much
time since im working) I know it will be worth reading it and I am just
so excited to post you a note after viewing your
website.
I love Thailand through my reading and planning to go there one day.
Go on and write more books.
I am gonna keep on looking for your latest novels in town (Malaysia
maybe
a bit late especially as I am in Miri, east Malaysia)
Regards
CT
Message
58
Andrew,
After reading "Thai Girl" I thought, "Well, this guy's
been around Thailand for sure.'
Then going through the reader's comments I have to say that they pretty
much
capture my thoughts and feelings about the different characters. Although
I have
to say that I liked Jack Russell as one of the standouts.
I could not help thinking that he's a kind of mythologial figure, a messenger,
a
guide of sorts on the path of Ben's life. (Jack Russell's are a breed
of dog, as
I'm sure you know). As an animal, man's best friend, and all that. I think
he
helped Ben with some conflicts. Jack's own job and history spans and reflects
our
own life-cycle, from youth to death. So again, the messenger himself (not
a
Christian take here, thank-you) is a being who has seen a lot of things
and has
an understanding (and compassion) for it all because he has walked in
both world's, including
the one that Ben has just been introduced to.
A movie? Yes, please. A continuing story? I'd love to read it.
Thanks again for a good book. A nice introduction for me at so early a
stage in my life in Thailand, and for one about as green as Ben!
Sincerely,
Barry
Message
57.
Dear Andrew:
I just finished reading your book "Thai Girl." I pretty much
read it
in one gulp, as I could not put it down.
I spend every summer in Southeast or East Asia. Been
to Thailand many
times. You captured the essence of Thailand and its people,
incredibly well, especially as to how farang might best be able to see
them.
And, most importantly, yours is an honest account and
characterization
of how any farang man with a good heart and with good intentions
(while myopic) will want to be a knight in shining armor and rescue at
least one of the young girls of Thailand that are born into poverty, and
who
must do whatever they can to make ends meet, and yet are still able to
maintain a giggly and positive outlook on life. But alas, the reality
of farang
heroics of this kind is going to be, pretty much inevitably,
undermined by the stupid reality of a social divide.
If you don't mind a plea from a stranger: there can NOT
be a sequel to this book, at
least not one with a happy ending. The end to your book is truly
where this story ends, which is sadly, for both Ben and Fon.
Regards,
Ken Kim.
Message
56
Hi Andrew,
I have to say, I have never been so excited whilst reading a novel
as I was
'Thaigirl". I read all of the book in only 4 days which
was a complete surprise for
me as it usually takes me months to finish one book.
I was hooked reading it. i could hardly wait to know what would become of Ben and Fon. I was finding it frustrating everytime Ben and Fon would get close, only to have something happen to divide them again.
The ending was also something that caused me to have
great mixed emotions. I was
disapointed with the ending at first. I think I was expecting some sort
of fairytale
ending between Ben and Fon. After having a bit of time afterwards to think
about the
book, i realised that the ending was actually the best way for this story
to end.
I could just imagine how Fon would have been feeling, waiting for Ben,
thinking of
him everyday. Was the ending intended to make it end up just as a holiday
romance
for Ben? He did seem a lot more concerned about himself on getting back
to
England then what he was while on holiday.
I read some of the readers comments in the forum set up on the website. I must say I would like it so much to be able to have an open forum where we could all discuss the book with each other. There were quite a few comments that I would like to be able to discuss openly.
I have visited a few countries in South East Asia and
I think your book is so spot
on with the way I've experienced these countries as well. I too had a
holiday romance while I was trekking through Philippines. It was great
and quite
possibly one of the happiest times of my life. Simply it was amazing.
While walking through Singapore airport on the trip home, I came across
your book.
It struck me straight away, as I share the same name and age group with
the
main character "Ben" which helped me in deciding to buy the
book.
I too feel like Ben, in the way he felt about his relationship
with Fon. I felt it
improbable that I would see this girl again as it was just too hard for
us to be
together. Since being home I haven't been interested in anyone else and
find that I
feel now that maybe somehow I could make it work.
Anyway i didn't really want to tell you my story as you
must hear quite a few stories
from guy's saying that they have found love in the same way as Ben But
I do want to say thank you for writing this book; it really did touch
me and found its way into the sensitive side that I have and usually hide
from the world.
I hope a scriptwriter picks up on your book and decides to make a screenplay from it. I really could see a movie made of this story and think maybe it would be a hit with some sort of cult following. I will again read this book soon as I would like to see if there was anything I didn't pick up on the first time.
Thank you Andrew for this inspiring novel which has touched me so and will remain proudly on my bookshelf until the day I die.
Best wishes,
Benjamin. Australia.
Message
55
Hi Andrew
Just got back to my home country (Denmark) after 2 months
journey in
Thailand and Malaysia, whereof I spent one month in Isaan, and like Ben,
I
also fell for a thai girl.
Your book taught me a lot about Thailand and Thai culture,
it also helped me
to understand my girlfriend better.
I borrowed the book from my friend, before we left for
Koh Samet, where I
then read most of Thai Girl. It was a strange, almost uncanny, feeling
sitting right there on Koh Samet and reading what could almost be called
my
own story, because like Ben, of course I also had to leave my girl, and
just
get on the plane. And she also is from Isaan, and her parents are rice
farmers, like so many other girls that foreigners meet I guess.
Although a few of the conversations seemed a bit unrealistic
to me, I think
Thai Girl is a straight forward and well written story and not only is
the
story engaging, but we also learn something from it, even though at first
it
might seem like a poolside read about some dull romance.
The next time I go to Thailand, which might be more or
less permanently, I
will bring a copy of Thai Girl and read it a second time, and hopefully
a
sequel or something similar.
All the best to you!
Greetings
Malte
Message
54.
Dear Andrew
I found that your novel captured the complexities of the Thai-Farang relationships very well.
I originally avoided Thai Girl because I thought it was just another book about prostitutes, but it presented both sides with more depth than other books in the genre.
It was a wise move to cast the main female character as a low-educated massage therapist, rather than some conniving stereotype.
You also tapped into the one element that is usually forgotten - the consequence and aftermath of the farang going back home. Most books about Thai-farang relationships fail to acknowlege the impact of the visiting tourist.
Also, thank you for leaving some parts ambiguous. It was a treat to not have it all spelled out in advance. While reading Thai Girl , you kept me wondering if the female character had hidden ulterior motives and if the male character was being sincere or naive. It made the ride of reading go much more smoothly when I didn't know where the path would lead.
Ken
Message
53.
Dear Andrew,
I really enjoyed your book. Are you in the process of writing another one?
Steve.
Dear Steve,
Thanks a million. It's funny how good it feels that somebody likes my book!
In fact I'm writing a book that I hope to call, 'My Thai and I', my Thai of course being my wife. It's about living out here in the back of beyond in the NE of Thailand and I've put some experimental pieces on www.thaigirl2004.blogspot.com. I'd love you to have a look at the blog which has gone down pretty well as the top hitting Thai-based blog listed on www.thailandvoice.com. The instant satisfaction of seeing one's blog and photos appear on the screen is amazing even if in fact nobody reads it at all.
All the best and please pass on the word about 'Thai Girl',
Andrew
Message
52
Hi Andrew,
I've recently read your book, 'Thai Girl' on holiday in Thailand. It brings
tears of joy and
tears of laughter and how true it is to real life. Is there another book
about your true life, of farang meeting Thai girl? And is your story based
upon you and your Thai wife? I'd love to know. Anyway it's certainly a
very good read. I do hope there's another book coming. I'm visiting Thailand
again this year as I love the people and their culture.
Hoping to meet you one day.
Jane
Dear Jane,
It's great to hear that you enjoyed "Thai Girl'. Most of the readers who write to me seem to be men who find that the story reflects their own experiences, but as a strong theme of the book is what it's like to be a woman in Thailand, I hope there's something in it for everyone.
Of course authors always get asked if their story is autobiographical and they generally deny it! But no, in fact I met my Thai wife just at the time I was finishing the final draft of the book so it's not our story at all.
If a story of love and longing and loss is to be convincing, then it must to an extent be autobiographical… for the author to have experienced these emotions. However, in my case the story of Ben and Fon is not specifically my story, though of course I cannot deny falling in love with and in Thailand. Most of the characters in the book including Fon are based on real people I've met there and whose essence I distilled into my notebooks, but with regard to the prototype for Fon, Ben's experiences were ones that might have happened to me but never in fact did.
Some of my readers credit me with special insight into relationships between farang and Thais but really I deny any such as my experience is quite limited. The story of Ben and Fon, is simply the natural playfulness of a Thai woman, tempered by her suspicion of foreign men interacting with Ben's hormonal passion for an exotic and utterly beguiling woman. She's always saying come hither but she doesn't always mean it, nor even herself know if she means it. For the farang male, that's what makes a cross-cultural relationship so utterly, so intolerably exciting.
Do pass on the book to your friends, and hoping to see you in Thailand again.
Andrew
Message
51
Dear Mr.Hicks
I just finished reading your book "Thai Girl" and having a
Thai daughter in law myself I could very well relate and identify with
your well expressed content of that mysterious culture.
I have visited Bangkok a few times with my son, but unlike Ben I was
surrounded with Thais and not farangs. On my next visit I intend to acquaint
myself
with the many farangs, yes, of all shapes and sizes that abound in this
phenomenal city.
Now, having said the above, I have to take you to task on some of the
dialect you used. I have been away from England for many years and I
am finding it difficult to believe that today's travelers from the old
country(ies)
still used the outmoded expressions such as "doss house" "prat",
"pommy", "brilliant." I do know people from England
of advanced age who still say "brill" or "brilliant: but
I thought this was now a worn out expression such as "chilled out"
which you have also used in your book. And of course, I know older Americans
who still use that outmoded overworked expression, but really is it not
true that these expressions usually have their time and are then discarded
for the newer "in" version.
Please tell me that the Youth - the hope of our future - are really not
submerged in this verbal time warp?????
Please, "Jumping Joe Jackson" Say it isn't true.
Looking forward to your comments on the above. And again, thank you for
the insight, which only served to confirm what I sensed is the elusive
corpus of Thai girls - beautiful creatures born to please farangs - and
they do it so well.
Keep the good stories coming,
Sincere Best Wishes for 2007. Maybe see you in Thailand later this year.
Mary Cina
Dear Mary,
Thanks so much for your very specific lit crit about colloquialisms in
Thai Girl. I really appreciate it because it's the first I've had as readers
usually focus on the wider themes.
You've hit on some interesting points and maybe you're right... maybe too it betrays my age! In fact I did work quite hard on the colloquialisms as a friend suggested to me that with so many characters taking part in some fairly static in-bar dialogues, it was important to create a distinctive voice for each of them. Some of the walk-on parts are not too significant and if as a result they took on an element of caricature, I wasn't too worried.
Fon was the key of course and I studied the argot of migrant workers who'd learned their English from tourists with alacrity. In fact much of her language usage is based on the construction of how she would say the same thing in Thai. Stuart, the Scot was easy, as was Clarissa, the knobby Brit. For Maca, I traveled throughout Australia listening hard and adding to the dictionary of Strine that I bought there. I made a list of expressions that I liked and ticked them off as Maca uttered them so that he didn't over-use any. I've met quite a few traveler and other Aussies who, in the presence of non-Aussies tend to assume a faux 'Crocodile Dundee' persona and take the piss, especially of a middle class pommie bastard like Ben. I must've been called a pommie a million times!
Jack Russell, the thinking man's sex tourist from Yorkshire had some language put in his mouth from a Yorkshire dialect I found on the web. Which I suppose leaves the problem of Chuck, Emma and Ben! As for Chuck, I've been amazed with younger Americans I've met, just how archaic their slang can be. I think of a lad I found myself walking with in the mountains of Cameron Highlands in Malaysia shortly before I wrote the book. It's bad news for you, Mary, but yes, everything was cool, chilled out and like crazy man. I kinda got a feelin' I was in some sorta time warp. He was twenty two!
My recent experience of young Brits is of my own kids who are contemporaries of Emma and Ben and of ten years lecturing to that age group at the green welly University of Exeter in the west of England. I've listened pretty hard and taken notes, and again you'd be amazed how reactionary their colloquialisms were. If 'brill' might be a bit naff, 'brilliant' was still current. I asked my son Mike to read a draft of the book with the dialogue particularly in mind and he did excise a few 'isms that were too dated, and he had a good laugh at my expense. But the ones you mention slipped past him.
What you say is probably right and I may have over-used my dialect palette, though I did want Ben to be a distinctly upper middle class lad from a slightly plummy background of private school privilege, precisely the sort Maca might take the piss of as a bloody pom. Emma's language is, I hope a bit more grounded in the present, with some of it pretty blunt and down to earth. I believe, from memory that a prat is a pregnant fish.
Well, thanks again and do get in touch when next in Thailand. It would be good if our paths could cross. I hope your son has read 'Thai Girl' and do pass it on to your friends, even if at risk of polluting their minds with some frightfully outdated colloquialisms!
Andrew
Message
50.
Hi Andrew,
I have recently finished your fantastic novel Thai Girl.
I found so many things in your book that struck home to own personal involvement
with Thailand and Thai people. My current situation is that I have a Thai
Girlfriend who I have known now for 2 years.
My Journey started after meeting a Thai lady whilst still here in England
which resulted in me getting my heart broken. We remained friends but
one of the reasons for breaking up was my lack of understanding of Thai
culture, I just could not understand why she always wanted to help her
family and did everything when her brother did nothing, Now I fully understand.
To get over my heartache I booked a 2 week holiday to Thailand to Bangkok
and Pattaya, at this point I had no understanding of the sex industry
and what went on. I then found out all the truths 3 days before departure
whilst looking on the internet. When I went to Pattaya my eyes were truly
opened.
I have to admit that I did have my share of girls before one night going
into a well known go go club where I came across my now girlfriend. We
then spent the rest of my holiday together and when my time came to go
back to Bangkok we left together. The inevitable day came and we had to
part and that time I must say that I felt like Ben and Fon, sad and hurt.
I was telling my teeruk that I will be back in Feb 05. The look in her
eyes stays with me to this day (I hope so but I will not hold my breath).
This you explained in your book with Ben and Fon I guess she wanted him
to return but thought it would never happen.
After my return I went about my life and we exchanged e-mails. i was ok
but I did remember thinking I wonder if she will ever stop working in
the go go bar. I duly returned in feb 05 and then that's when the love
really kicked in as I think then she thought more of me than just another
customer. Since then I have been back to Thailand 6 more times and leaving
tomorrow to see my love again.
The moment for me that made up my mind that she was special was that my
girlfriend never asked me for any money when we were apart. i knew that
she had other customers that were sending her money for her love and one
man even asked her to marry him, but she never asked me for it. Then one
day she felt the need to ask as her mother was sick, the pain in her voice
was sad and of course i had to help. She still held true to her thoughts
that maybe she could have both love and someone too provide for her family.
My girlfriend had a vision like many girls from Issan to make enough money
for a new house for her mother and to look after her.
The time that we were apart was sometime very painful as we talked every
day on the phone and she would call me after work to tell me that she
had to go with a
customer, this i found very difficult as although i understood why, it
still hurt my heart.
Then came the time that I had to ask her when she would stop working and
after we talked she agreed that she would stop earlier this year. My girlfriend
has not been working in the bar scene since June and we are now discussing
our future together. I am looking forward to going home to Ubon in Feb
as this will be the first time that I will meet my girlfriend's Mother.
She would not take me whilst she was working and until she was sure that
I would be around for ever. I guess that she did not want to be seen with
a falung and then not get married?
Reading your book brought out all the emotions that i have felt over the
past 2 years. The hardest thing i find is how to explain to others the
reasons why these girls enter this way of life. i personally have a lot
of time for them as they really are amazing. The majority would choose
another way of life if the opportunities were there that we have in the
west, but they are not, so they do the best they can to provide for the
family. Could you imagine an English girl doing all that to provide for
their mother??
I too, like many of your readers, wished for a happy ending and yes it
brought tears to my eyes, I think more for the fact that I was missing
my girlfriend. I have passed the book onto friends to read in the hope
that they can understand the way of life, and what drives the girls to
do this work. My next big challenge is to get married and then face my
parents when I get asked, 'So where did you meet her then'?
Keep up the good work Andrew and i will keep checking back for Thai Girl
2. I will also buy another copy for my Thai friends to get their thoughts
on your story.
Martin (35) England
Message
49.
Hi Andrew
I have just finished your book and confess that as much as I wanted to
like it, I regret that I found it quite repetitive and quite boring. I
did however love the political views in the conversations between the
travelers, and that is what kept me reading.
I found the character of Ben to be idealistic, hypocritical and perhaps for me, unbelievable. I have never met a young man who talks of love to a ladyman while in Thailand. Ben was too romantic in the book and this made it too unbelievable for me. His relationship with Fon was repetitive and at one point I put the book down as I was feeling so uninterested in their repetitive relationship. Luckily I picked it back up to be rewarded with wonderful pages of the politics of Bush, war and globalisation which were so wonderful and found that the book was only saved by those few pages. The conversations between the travelers was the highlights to the book.
I purchased the book on leaving Singapore after a couple
of weeks in
Thailand. I am sorry to say that I think, for me, it was too bogged down
in an uninteresting romance.
I am sorry to say this, but I believe that you show in
the conversation
pieces that you have wonderful political views that I think the world
need to hear and not hide them in the midst of an uninteresting romance.
I hope that you concentrate on the political side that you so wonderfully
narrated throughout the book, then publish that and let me be the first
one to read it. I know I would not put the book down.
As I say, it is only my opinion and this is only my perspective and I wanted to take up the offer of emailing you with some of my views.
Cheers,
Simone
Dear Simone,
Oh well, you can't please all of the people all of the time and I'm very happy that you've said some very nice things about parts of the book, at least. And I am being totally honest when I say how much I appreciate your feedback as I find it very interesting to learn different peoples' response to the story. Your message also helps save the Readers Forum from becoming repetitive and boring because it says the diametric opposite of most previous ones. I'm particularly glad you liked the travelers' alcohol-inspired 'political' dialogues in the book as there have been several critics (all of them American)who've said this is the weakest part of the book.
Personally I'm very picky about the novels I read and frankly I enjoy relatively few of them. For example I found 'The Da Vinci Code' quite ridiculous, though the religious themes were fascinating. Certainly a novel sometimes can be redeemed by politics or religion though in my opinion, very rarely by sex.
Okay, so you didn't believe in hypocritical Ben as he was far too romantic, though other readers do seem to get very involved with his passion for Fon. One tough Aussie told me how he was reading the book at work and had to go outside so his staff couldn't see how much it was affecting him!
So you've never personally come across the soft, feminine side that causes us men sometimes to make such fools of ourselves?! I respect what you say, but I don't think Ben's obsessive love for Fon is so atypical for an inexperienced young lad; though Clarissa, the posh English lawyer simply puts it down to lust! He is simply following our western traditions of courtship, wallowing in love and sighing from afar for his lady, something that the Thais never begin to understand. He wants Fon to love him in the purest way possible too, though if Jack Russell is right, she'll be more interested in his wallet and on that score he doesn't do too well at all. Fon always tells Ben that passionate love is dangerous, but perhaps in the end she loses control of her emotions and suffers as a result.
Western men can certainly be bewitched by Asian women and sometimes, despite an apparently unlimited choice, they are romantic enough to fall for one woman and to want that one only. If you need any evidence just how romantic men can be, you have to look no further than the story of Robin in the previous Message 48 on this Forum.
Finally, no, I'm sorry I haven't written anything political, though how about corporate law? If that tickles your fancy, why not Google 'hicks and goo company law'. It'll be great for insomnia and it's got absolutely nothing in it about romantic men, though even we lawyers can be romantic sometimes!
With my best wishes and thanks,
Andrew
Message
48.
Hi Andrew
I have just this minute finished the book and i had to write an email just simply as this book was amazing and a subject so close to my heart.
I am currently in Thailand and in fact living with my girlfriend who was and is a bar girl. Our story was very much similar to Ben and Fon's and for me being only 21, the difficulties of a young relationship over here are very hard.
The difference obviously being that mygirlfriend was not shall we say as lucky as Fon and did not find an alternative to working in a bar. But she is a happy girl from Isaan, always looking to provide for her Mother.
I thought you captured stereotypes brilliantly in the main characters, while making Fon respectable yet very poor. This i would say is a rareity over here because many girls have no choice but to work in a bar. However i don't quite think the book captured their view on sex and the sex trade. For instance it is accepted by almost every girl's father over here, and in fact encouraged that she works in a bar. Sex is very liberal. They separate themselves from sex with a customer and very often act as though it doesn't happen and have regular boyfriends. My girl does not go with customers, though she has before and it is part of life i have to accept.
I liked the way Ben was a typical western male; in a
way i found him similar to myself. I
obviously went to a bar and met my girlfriend but since speaking to her
and hearing what she had to do, i find the sex trade here disgusting and
vile.
Ben kept himself very well throughout the book getting drunk to forget and making new friends. And also Emma, a very typical modern western woman, demanding and not easy to read. I longed for a happy ending and really expected this book to end differently. I guess i hoped it would. I mean i remember very well when i met my girlfriend, i was staying for two weeks and after i left i did not know what to expect. I returned home to my job and home. I thought she would do the same and forget about me. I got home and called her everyday, missed her with such great pain it was unbelievable. So i quit my job and came back to Thailand.
I get by and go home every now and then, but i would do anything for this girl as love has conquered me. I had a good job and life, but love is more important to me then all that. As yet she cannot come to England and until then i come and see her. I just guess what i am saying is that i expected Ben to do something similar. Although tied down, i expected him to come home and feel the same pain i did and have to come back! I suppose i was hoping the story would end that way.
It was a great novel and as i say a story very close
to my heart.There were parts i would say were slightly off, but this book
is so close to what i have lived, there are going to be differences. I
think there was a slight lack of emphasis on how a farang is seen in Buriram.
Visiting there quite recently to see my girlfriend's family, as a farang
you are treated like a celebrity because you are classed as rich. Children
follow you and point, and people on every corner try and speak to you
in Thai.
Finally one thing i think that was majorly under-exaggerated
was money. Thai people expect farang to pay for things not through rudeness
but through culture. Farang are rich and we can go on holiday and not
work, but Thai people do not. If you eat with Thai people generally as
a farang you pay. When you go to meet the family you pay! I think there
was a slight lack of emphasis on this part. I am sorry Andrew i have read
back and it seems, taken a brilliant book and critiscised it. That is
not what i am doing at all; i am just
comparing my experiences, in the hope you might be slightly interested.
I hope there may be a second installment to find out what happens if anything between Ben and Fon, as the fairytale could be complete if they can wait for each other. And anything is possible if you are willing to make it happen!
Thanks again for the book.
Many kind regards and Good Luck for the future.
Robin T.
Dear Robin,
Thanks so much for you message with your compliments which mean a lot to me and for your heartfelt story.
You say you hoped for and expected a different ending to the book but as far as the story goes, it is exactly the same as yours. What has to happen at the end of the holiday, but you get on the plane and go back home!
Ben tells Fon what you have just said to me, that you can make anything happen in life if you want to; maybe he will be as determined as you in this, but maybe not. As Emma coldly predicted, perhaps it was always likely that his family would find him a cosy career and that he has now reverted to type as a conventional middle-class guy.
Of course it's he who has all the opportunities in life, while poignantly Fon is left on the beach working from day to day, waiting for a letter and hoping that her worst fears have not materialised.
Yes, Ben is devastated at leaving her, but as the theme
of the story is perhaps of hopeless love, longing, separation and loss,
it would have been a sell-out if I'd let them sail off into the sunset
together. But it's never over till it's over and who knows what will
happen to them!
Yes, it's, true Thai/Lao culture has a long tradition of taking a minor wife, even one taken for only an hour or two. You call the bar scene 'disgusting and vile', so can the girls really be totally immune to all of that?
Certainly some parents now hope for girl children as
they are more dutiful and make better money than men, who are often drunks
and wasters. They may also sell their daughters or connive at their new
life, if the money keeps flowing back to them. But sometimes if it is
her choice to work in a bar, she may keep it as secret as possible.When
she goes back to the village, everyone will smile at her but they may
envy her money as well as despise her and there will be vicious talk.
The farang, not speaking Thai/Lao/Khmen/Suay, you will miss all
that!
There is a genuine modesty among Thai women and who knows what it takes to display yourself naked every night and to be available to every grotesque old bloke without the option to say no. You will never hear anything of this though, because it is not the Thai way to talk about it; the trauma will simply be smoothed over. You may thus get the impression that offering sex for sale is not a big deal. (Though see one of the earlier messages on this Forum where a Thai talks of the long-term trauma of being a bar girl.)
Finally, Ben does attract a lot of attention when they go to the village, such as on the local bus, the inevitable implication always being drawn by the Thais. And yes, the money thing is not made a lot of in the book, but Ben always pays for everything, doesn't he, and Fon and Jinda do quite nicely out of him with a free trip home to see Mama, all expenses paid.
So to finish, follow your dream, mate and good luck to you. It'll always be one of the greatest experiences of your life. It's extraordinary the fascination we and the Thais seem to have for each other.
Anyway, tell everyone about "Thai Girl" and do keep in touch. You wanted to know how my story ends and I want to know about yours!
Andrew
PS. Your email to me had no subject and I nearly deleted it with the thirty or so spams I get every day. Do make sure and mark it Thai Girl if you write again.
Message
47.
Dear Andrew,
I've just completed your novel: Thai Girl. Very poignant, emotional and a great read. It's a very touching story. Not what I was expecting at all (after reading Bangkok 8 and Tattoo by Burdett). While I was reading your book, I imagined that the smart, scheming Fon was stringing along love-struck, naive Ben. But in the end, well, he turned out to be a flakey young farang.
I thought the story was a well-weaved misdirect and,at the same time, very symbolic of what could happen to thailand's tourism industry when Burma becomes the next 'in' tourist destination, as mentioned by one of your book's characters.
Thai Girl would make a great movie. I hope someone has been smart enough to snap up the film rights. I laughed outloud at Odin's comment about David slaying Goliath with his g-string.
Good luck with all your future creative ventures.
Cheers,
Peter
Dear Peter,
Thanks so much for your message with your very kind thoughts about "Thai Girl".
You say the book wasn't what you were expecting and I wonder which publisher's version you read. The book cover as sold in Thailand is rather more lurid than the one published in Singapore (see www.thaigirl2004.com) and they might raise different expectations. I wonder which one represents the book better and would love to know what readers think.
And yes, a movie! Of course I agree with you, it could be a great movie, though the ending is hardly classic Hollywood.
Did you ever see 'Hideous Kinky', a delightful low budget
film with Kate Winslett. In the spirit of the sixties she bums off to
Morocco with her two little girls and has an affair with a Moroccan boy.
It's never likely to come to anything and at the end she just has to
leave
him and go home. A Romeo and Juliet theme where two totally different
people are hopelessly drawn to each other and then torn apart can be
very
moving. Some people think the ending of "Thai Girl" is a bit
of an anti-climax while others say that the emotional climax is when
Ben
leaves Fon on the island which tugs at their heart strings. As in
'Hideous Kinky' it could make a powerful ending to a movie.
Well, thanks again and do tell your friends about "Thai Girl". >
Andrew
Message
46.
Dear Khun Andrew,
I am Jann, a 18 year-old Dentistry student at Khon Kaen University, Thailand. I bought your novel a year ago or so when I was in secondary school, by chance of stumbling into it in a book shop in Don Muang airport. The reasons to buy the novel were so simple: its cover and of course it's about a 'Thai girl'..which I thought might have something to do with my surroundings and me' Because of my Admission exam and geting into university, I had to put your novel down and turned to my textbooks.....
I have just finished reading your novel by now and like other readers said--It's brilliant! However, it seems to me that the novel doesn't cover all the characteritics of "a Thai Girl" that appears as its title ....obviously the novel mentions about Isaan girls mainly. And I understand why that is. Isaan is a so called poorest part of Thailand, but the richest part in humor and smiles. If you had noticed, most of Thai comedians are from Isaan. Most of us have hard lives....so it's kind of a smile to hide the pain. We have to be happy and learn to be satisfied with all the things we have, and live our lives peacfully.
However as the capitalised economy comes closer and closer
and now totally surrounds us, we cannot possibly stay cool and live easy
like a 'slowly blowing wind'. Captivated by the colour of the modern cities
and technologies, money is a big deal to everyone. You could die poor
by starvation if you're not energetic and get used to doing things fast
and pulling tricks to make money like people in the city. But how could
uneducated people in Isaan do something like that. They fall behind, don't
know much about new technologies and what's going on in this world, except
worrying about 'will there be enough
rain to grow rice?'. So, if the old man is too fallen behind and too poor
to support education for his next generation , what's the choice for the
next generation then?..... To leave school and find work in the city is
only the first thing that
springs to their mind. A boy is to be a labourer and a girl, if she has
got a good mind and wants to struggle, then she might do something like
Fon, but if she isn't and prefers some easier way, she might be a pretty
girl in a car showroom or a prostitute...or a 'temporaly wife' for a dirty
Farang.
Your novel is almost true about Isaan girls, but not
always. The discussions among Farangs in your novel about Thailand and
Thai girls are interesting...and I think it would be nice if Thai people
were good at English and able to speak out for themselve. It's very disappointing
and upsetting about some views of Thai girls and Farangs because for some
girls they think of a Farang as their Hero or Rescuer, but instead for
some Farangs, they think of her as a money spender and something to relieve
their sexual desire.
It's nice though to hear some bad view of Farangs toward us...If you have this novel in Thai edition, it would be really nice for us to understand Farangs and of course, to know where we stand in what way --negative or positive in Farang's opinions.
Again, the novel is great.... However, it would make me cry a river if Fon had got a sad ending. Her life is hard and misery enough. If you are planning to write part 2 of the novel, please dont let Ben break her heart, please!
Keep on an with an excellent job!
Jann.
Dear Khun Jann,
Thanks so much for your lovely message. I am always especially thrilled to receive a message from a Thai person as I have little idea how many Thais read the book and what they think of it. Yes, I'd really like to see it published in Thai because I hope that Thai readers would enjoy it as much as foreigners seem to have.
I am fascinated by your description of being young and
Thai and how life can be tough in this country. As you say, things are
changing so fast here and the rural people lose out all the time. Do you
remember Ben and his friends talking about how Thailand is rushing too
fast into a consumer society and losing some of its cultural values? And
remember him standing
dreaming in the rice field in Buriram, thinking what a beautiful life
it could be in the village with your extended family all around you, if
only farming could give you a proper livelihood and how sad it is to see
rural life breaking down as everyone floods to the cities for low paid
work.
Yes, the people of Isaan represent a triumph of the human spirit, but I do hope that when they take the role of comedian, Thailand is laughing with them and not laughing at them for being 'Lao'.
Do some of the farang in the book have a low view of Thai women? Surely not! I thought they all loved the Thai people as a whole. As Maca said,he chooses to be in Thailand for the Thai people and their gentleness. Okay, at the end Emma and Ben say how sad it is that Thai women have the reputation world-wide of being available to any man who will pay them, but this is a stereotype that has arisen from the huge scale of 'adult entertainment'in Thailand. In contrast, of course, the "Thai Girl" story portrays Thais in a good light and is a about a young woman who is the opposite of that stereotype, professing traditional values that are still surprisingly strong today throughout the country.
And finally, you'll cry a river if I break Fon's heart in Thai Girl-2! I'm so pleased that you care! But at the end of the book, Ben is in London about to start a two year internship as a lawyer while Fon is still on Koh Samet waiting and wondering. Maybe her heart's been broken already!
Do please pass on the book to your friends and I'd love to hear from them too.
With best wishes to you for your studies. I hope it all goes well for you.
Andrew
Message
45.
Hi,
I enjoyed your book, thanks for writing it.
* The good: I love Thailand, the Thai people, and yes, especially Thai
woman. Some have such a sweet voice, I can listen to them talk Thai all
day. Your book brought back many
good memories for me.
* The bad: I was
looking more for romance between Fon and Ben...or at least one less sexually
frustrating. I know that men do go to Thailand, some for the sex trade,
some for the week long girlfriend experience, and some for love and marrige,
and some to live in that wonderful country for years on end. However,
Fon's approach to life and sex did highlight the difference between women.
Some do anything for money, and some save themselves for family, love
and marriage. I think this is a theme all over the world. In poor countries,
there are "special" circumstances which I believe you highligted
admirably.
* The ugly: Emma. Need I say more?
Well, Ben was a bit of a wanker at times too, but Emma was down right
bitchy.
My friend and I had a big laugh about how she emmulates western (white)
women we have known.
I often think Western women want to know what men can
do for them, and Thai women want to know what they can do for men. I mean
this in a broad sense, to make a man comfortable with clean clothes, food,
happiness, and yes, sex. Whereas western women want to know
what a man can do for them to make their life better.
I read some where, western women want to be like men,
and Thai women want to be like
women. I tend to care and treat real women more romanticly than women
that want to be like men. Or as another friend of mine said, "I
know when a woman is too much of a man for me."
On another note, I read you wrote a paper or small book for the Filipinos
in Hong Kong. Can I get more information about what your wrote, and how
you distributed it?
Kop khun khup,
David
Dear David,
Thanks for all your nice comments about "Thai Girl". I'm
glad you enjoyed it and, I guess your mates read it too. Keep passing
it on!
Yes, several readers have said that Emma is a wingeing !!!!!!, but don't
be too hard on poor
Ben. He's still very young and wet around the ears!
I was interested in your thoughts on western and Thai women. Yes, the
Thai women seem sweet and purry, but don't underestimate them for one
moment. After the softening up
process, they're pretty formidable I can tell you. No passive, doe-eyed
doormat, they're powerful personalities and no push-over and that's what
I like them for.
My 'Filipina Helpers' Handbook' was published in Hong Kong in about 1981
and all 3,000
copies sold out in a few months. It was top of the SCM Post bestsellers'
list, beating Frederick Forsyth into second place! There was a real need
for it and I'm pleased to have done it. Only after I'd written "Thai
Girl" did it cross my mind that the issues were much the same, of
poor migrant workers leaving their villages to look for opportunities
in a very tough world.
All the best,
Andrew
Message
44.
Dear Andrew,
Just a short one
to say how wonderful your book was. Unputdownable as we Brits say. My
wife is a teacher in Udonthani and I love the way you portrayed Thailand
in such a beautifully balanced way. I am a physiotherapist in Norfolk
and I get very angry (so does Ona my wife) when young men come for
treatment
and inform me that they are going to Thailand for a holiday because ALL
Thai women are "loose". You have done a geat deal in your
book to dispel that ridiculous myth. Thank you for a wonderful, and
beautifully
balanced book about Thailand and Thai culture!! Roll on the next one!!
Best regards
David Campbell MacKellar
Message
43.
Hey Andrew,
Great book! I especially loved they way you portrayed the character Fon. I am engaged to an Isaan girl from a small village out side of Khon Kaen, and she is very much like Fon in every way. The respect for her family, her pride, her sharp wit and humor, mood swings – it’s all spot on. She is a strong woman, but still has a fragile femininity about her which I find very attractive. Without generalizing too much, this is something I find many western women today have lost in their pursuit of absolute equality.
My fiancé was lucky enough to get a good education. Even though her family is poor, they realized she had great potential, and after making some sacrifices were able to put her through international school in Bangkok. This I guess makes her a bit more accustomed to western culture, but I love the fact that she would never compromise her Thai values. As Fon in your book, there are still aspects of her life that she is very private about. After having lived in SE Asia for a while now, I am not blind to the difficulties of a cross cultural relationship, and I think you discuss some of these problems in your book very well. Excellent food for thought!
Thanks for a great read!
Cheers,
Matt
Message
42.
Andrew
I read your book in one sitting, well actually squirming
would be more
like it ! I picked up a copy in Surabaya airport whilst waiting to
return to a remote island in Indonesia. I am presently working on a
large construction project installing the basic infrastructure there.
I
ended up stuck on a twin prop airplane for two hours, then a seaplane,
then a fast crew boat, then a fishing boat and then an outrigger canoe
and finally an open truck. I started the book in Surabaya at 06.00 and
inished it as the sun went down twelve hours later.
Your characters are so accurate it is obvious you have trod the path.
Ben comes accross as a total prick and one almost wishes
that he finds
Fon shacked up with a fat ancient sausagebreath German at some stage,
but of course that would have ruined the whole scenario of the
innocence and purity of spirit of Fon.
Having lived, and loved, in Thailand I can emote with
all of the players
in your story.
I have been resident in Indonesia for ten years and am
very happily
married to a 'kampung girl' from East Java. They are far more reserved
and traditional in some ways than Thai girls, but can be earthy and
extremely hot-blooded as well. The ladies of the island of Madura are
reknowned for their physical beauty, sexual prowess and extreme
violence when crossed.
I have written several short articles about my life here,
posted them
online, and all seem well received, I am therefore going to attempt to