Readers Forum

Readers Forum

Feedback is essential to me as an author and I hugely appreciate the messages and comments that you’ve emailed to me and in a few cases posted on www.thaivisa.com. Please keep them coming, sending them to arhicks56@hotmail.com.

I have posted all of the comments I have received so far, including rude ones and I always reply to you personally. If you have sent me something and not had a reply, then I must have missed it, so please send it again. (Incidentally, andrew@thaigirl2004.com is a nightmare as I get about forty spam messages a day.)

If you scroll down, you’ll find comments on MY THAI GIRL AND I, the story of my five years in Thailand with Cat, and then about my earlier novel, THAI GIRL further down.

A quick email to say that I’ve just finished MY THAI GIRL AND I, and I really enjoyed it.

I have read other books about ex-pats in Thailand
and yours is by far the best. I could identify with much of it.

My wife and I left our village after four years because of work, and it
not being the place where we wanted to raise our child. I do miss it
though and often reading your book reminded me of this. Lopburi is
great, but different. Thanks again.

Good luck.
Paul G

Firstly congratulations on writing yet another fantastic book. I first
read THAI GIRL in 2006 and posted on the Forum then ( Message 50).

I have just returned from Thailand where I picked up your new book, MY THAI GIRL AND I as I had been following some of your adventures on your Blog. It only took me one day to complete the book as I was so wanting to find out every little story you had to tell.

I am sure that you will revisit my post to remind you self, so here is the update. I
am still with my Thai girl (Suthida) and we are going strong. It was funny as I was reading your book as I kept coming across little things that I too have had to encounter.

My girlfriend also enjoyed the book and like Cat she could not understand why you bought such an old Jeep, but i am glad that you kept it even after getting the new pick up.

From reading your blog, Cat really has got the building bug, and it was great to see that she has put the New House to such good use to educate children. If she gives any of them a better start in life due to an understanding of English then it will be a big achievement.

Keep up the hard work and the Blog [www.thaigirl2004.blogspot.com].

I loved the book (MY THAI GIRL AND I).

I find it hard to believe though that a person can acclimatize as well as you appear to have, in such a "primitive/difficult" (to me) lifestyle after a well travelled and professional background. For a holiday or research, great, but with the intricacies of Thai culture and language you have done something very difficult.

I have visited Thailand on a number of occasions, but only as a tourist. I would believe that "farang" are not fully accepted there, just as certain migrants are not totally accepted in other countries. Although, males, I believe, would be more easily accepted because of the tradition of supportive husband/financial support person to extended family than females. It seems to me than Thailand is not the only country though where young ladies seek out older, wiser, and more financial gentlemen to help support families.

Please keep continuing to write about your lifestyle and I will look at the blog for continuation of your wonderful story. Well done.

I was really engrossed in the book. It was so very real. At times I could almost hear the locals talking about us, safe in the knowledge that we do not understand them.

What will happen when age catches up with you though? Will the village be able to care for you?

Best Regards, and thank you for writing the book.

I have read your book 'MY THAI GIRL AND I' and I must say I love it.
In the first place, because everything you wrote and what happened to
you happened to me in a more or less similar way and I really like how
polite and diplomatic you put in words the things that drive some of us crazy.
You really have a hand to describe the things out there.

Just finished a house for the Thai family upcountry and hope in a few
years to come back for good.

Again congratulation's on your good book and to find your way of
living out there and thanks that you share it with us.
Your book (so I hope) will help me to stay 'jai yen yen' in all that
difficult situations that maybe occur now and in the future.

Best regards,
Uwe B.

I was recently in Bangkok to see my Thai girlfriend, Cat. We are about
the same ages as you and I got great pleasure and better understanding of what I
was involved in from reading " MY THAI GIRL AND I".

I really enjoyed it, thank you for being so open. I no longer feel so alone when I have those frustrating moments with Cat, who I have to say is a very talented hardworking lady who has just completed her second masters degree whilst working in a pressure job full time. I
love the Bangkok way of life but always find it so relaxing to return to New Zealand's wide open spaces and quiet traffic.

I can confirm that one now well-read copy of 'MY THAI GIRL AND I' has indeed washed up on the shores of the treasured islands of Samoa. The book was passed to me by a long-term expat living here. He purchased it on a short visit to Thailand in April in preparation for a permanent relocation from Samoa to Thailand.

The expat is married to an Isaan girl and so regarded the book as essential reading. A text book nonetheless!! He handed it over to me eventually because I too am married to an Isaan girl.

I have just finished reading "MY THAI GIRL AND I". A great read. I have just returned from a
trip to Thailand where I stayed in a village with my in-laws.

I have stayed in a village in Nong Khai between So Pisai and Fao Lai and there are so many similarities between life in this village and your village life. From signing up new monks
to trying to get to town in a vehicle without the rest of the village wanting a lift as well,
family funerals, trying to have beer in the fridge without the rest of the village knowing,eating buckets of som tum, frogs,placenta soup,tacatan. The dog man from Sakon Nakon the sister-in-law getting out of pigs due to the price of food etc. etc.etc.

My wife is due back to Aust in 6 weeks and I have ordered a copy of "THAI GIRL".

Thanks for a look into your life. it was a great read and an interesting comparison to life in Thailand as I know it. Thank-you and please keep writing.

Chok-Dee
Craig G S

I bought MY THAI GIRL AND I back in May and really enjoyed it. I read it twice, so I really got my monies worth.

The song you quoted at the beginning of the book was Donovan and not Dylan ,but I suppose you have been told that by now.

I too hope that Ben and Yut make [a life for themselves with their new shop in your village which you’ve just told us about on www.thaigirl2004.blogspot.com].

After reading "MY THAI GIRL AND I" I have found myself really caring about what happens to people in the book who I have never met and am never likely to. That’s maybe why I enjoyed it more than "Thai Girl". Because it’s about real people.

Hi
A few words of appreciation, to say how much I enjoyed reading your latest book, MY THAI GIRL AND I.

It’s a shared experience for me, especially as I have just finished building a house in Sakon Nakhon. Therefore you are more than welcome to stay if you need a proper bed for the night, a hot shower and a full English breakfast. However one of the pitfalls may be, understanding a Yorkshire Thai accent but what the hell!
As you don't want to become an alcoholic, have knee replacements or tend buffalo all day, have you considered that other useless pastime of the hoktegenarians, golf?

I came across MY THAI GIRL AND I a couple of weeks ago at the local bookstore. As I was picking it up to read the back cover, my wife said "you no waste your money on this book. You no like this kind of book" She is right in a way. I usually stay away from "expat" books finding them to be inaccurate, culturally limiting and often times extremely stereotypical, especially the gross inaccuracies surrounding Thai women, culture, and customs so I tend to stay clear of books in this "genre".

A few days ago we were back at the same bookstore. While my wife was looking at baby magazines I wandered over to the "Asia Books" section and finally read the back cover of MY THAI GIRL AND I. I decided to shell out the 450 baht and am so glad I did.

"MY THAI GIRL AND I" is probably the best book I have ever read, not just about Issan but Thailand in general. You never sound like an "authority" or egotistical. You wrote a book that was thought provoking, sincere, and objective.

Your book sort of parallels my life to a certain extent. My wife attended Ramkhumhang University and we lived in Ramkhumhang (soi 22). She is still 5 credits shy of her degree. Our dog is a product of Chatuchack market and I have experienced the "marathons" with my wife. OK, I can go on and on, but I wanted to ask you where i can pick up a copy of "THAI GIRL"? The local bookstores in town are out or "no have" at this time. I buy many of my books through Kinokuniya.com in Bangkok. Do you know if they stock it?
[Yes, they do. Andrew.]

Just a quick note to say I enjoyed "MY THAI GIRL AND I" immensely. Overall it has a very positive feel and I laughed out loud in many places. I don't have the time to read a book from cover to cover in one go any more so I found the layout of short self-contained stories very convenient when I only had an hour or so.

I started the book in Wichianburi hospital waiting for Mike to be born. Needless to say none of it registered, so I started again from the beginning when I returned to England.

I have a terrible memory, which I put down to being thrown off a horse when I was 13. Reading your stories reminded me of so many things that have happened to Kai and I. So many experiences that are "same same, but different."

If you get bored now you have finished the book, why not translate it into Thai? Then Kai can read it rather than me summarising chunks for her (joking).

Although I am learning to go with the flow and not get wound up about things, one was absolutely set in stone, building our house. It was all so simple. Until I retire in January and commute some of my pension, I have no money. Therefore no house until next year. The plan was fool proof. Retire, build house, downsize house in England to small terrace, replace money in bank as a safety net for things like unforseen medical expenses. I could also keep a very inexpert eye on the builders, whilst living with the in-laws.

I had been on at Kai a bit saying we should at least start looking for a builder. A couple of weeks ago,two days before we returned to England, a builder from Bangkok turned up with Wattana, his local site manager (I think). I still had a bit of a fever and things were going over my head. We already had a good idea of the floor plan from a book I bought months ago. The builder had the same book so this was quickly decided. I couldn't understand why we needed to choose the colour of the roof tiles at this early stage, but did so anyway. Then the local headman came round and after studying a calendar decided that 10th August 2008 was the luckiest day of the year to raise the first post. The old people (i.e. about my age) all looked at the calendar and agreed. Even Kai, the only person who knows the state of my finances, sided with the opposition. Anyway I only had to pay 500,000 to start, a further 500,000 in a couple of months and the balance in January. What rich farang doesn't keep that sort of loose change in his back pocket?

Just to rub it in, the 2009 calendar was checked. January was a complete no no. We could start building in February, but the first lucky day to move in would not be until September. Eight months of living with the in-laws and eating the worst Issan food this side of Issan.

So in two days it was done and dusted. We visited a couple of farang houses Wattana had already built and which were to a perfectly good standard, agreed the floor plan, fittings and electrics and Kai signed the contract. A phone call to my bank and the first 500,000 baht was winging it's way to Wattana's acount. I have decided not to open my bank statements for the next few months.

Finally, the American just got lucky. Most of Phetchabun is flat, but you can see the hills and it is certainly a bit cooler than the north east.

I finished “MY THAI GIRL AND I” last week and found it a very enjoyable read. While there’s nothing in Andrew’s tone to suggest he’s preaching his point of view, I found there was a lot of wisdom in the book to be applied to making a life, my life, in Thailand.

The book is in a lot of respects a collection of essays that go roughly chronologically over a period of a few years. From meeting his future wife, to the first village visits, to moving there and building a house. Like many of us, he’s at an age where the days past are less than those ahead and he takes thoughtful stock of the implications in making his life in Issan.

Recently I bought a house, (or more correctly I should say I bought my Thai wife a house), that needs a fair amount of remodeling. It’s so easy to get frustrated with the standards, the approach, the family and friends who come to help out, my Thai wife’s concept of things – you name it and it’s possible to go stark raving mad.

The book was a good companion as I shared Andrew’s tribulations and how he comes around to the important lessons to be learned in adapting and accepting, of knowing when to stand your ground and when to let it slide a bit and perhaps most importantly to know when you’ve’ been beat fair and square by your Thai partner’s unassailable logic and big smile and thus to beat a strategic retreat while you still have a modicum of honor. I could laugh and cry with him as I experience similar adventures.

I consider this book worthwhile, if not required, reading for any farang dreaming of moving out to the village or to Thailand with his Thai partner and especially if building a house. If you’ve done it I’m sure you’ll be like me thinking “yes, yes it was exactly like that!”. Andrew speaks with heartfelt honestly about his frustrations in the village, with his family, getting things done, isolation, language, retirement – the whole kaleidoscope of life.

All things that we expats wail about he expresses with a realistic view on the way things are and a wise outlook that it is after all a different culture he’s stepped into. He shares a very personal inner perspective on the journey of life and why he is there – that place, people and time for this juncture of his life.

I have also read "MY THAI GIRL AND I", and would thoroughly recommend it to anyone living in Thailand or considering doing so - as Valjean says, it falls into the "required reading" category.

Those of us who have already had some of the experiences described in Hicks' book, will smile and perhaps feel comforted that they are not alone. He writes about some of the difficulties and frustrations we all encounter, but with empathy and humour, with the result that the book does not descend into a gripe. Those who have not yet made the move, will perhaps learn something about what to anticipate.

I had read and enjoyed Hicks' novel, "THAI GIRL", which was why I bought the latest, autobiographical, work, as soon as it appeared on the shelves. I have no interest in books which simply criticise Thailand and Thai people; those attitudes are far too frequently encountered everywhere. But from his novel I was sure that the new book would have a more positive outlook - and although he does not shy away from describing his negative experiences, the author compensates with his humour, candidly admitting defeat on more than one occasion.

As I also live in an isolated Isaan village there were many things in Andrew Hick's book "MY THAI GIRL AND I" that I could easily relate to from my experiences - some of his reactions to various situations may have been completely different to mine but in being able to see myself in many of his experiences provided me with many moments of appreciation and enjoyment.

The day to day challenges, frustrations and fun of living here are never ending and so I envy the fact that someone has the capacity to capture some of these experiences.

As the book is non-fiction and a great attempt to share a farang's experiences of village life in the North-East of Thailand, I believe many people like me will appreciate and enjoy sharing his experiences.

Just finished "MY THAI GIRL AND I" and I thought that it was a great read. Much better than most books I have read on "expat life", so kudos to Mr. Hicks.

I would even go so far as to say that it is the best book that I have read in this category, unlike "Confessions of a Bangkok PI." which is probably the worst piece of trash ever printed (in my opinion). And who was responsible for that book coming to print?

Hi Andrew

I have recently finished reading your book ‘MY THAI GIRL AND I’. Your website seems to be devoted to comments about your first book ‘THAI GIRL’ which I have not read. However I would like to share with you some of my thoughts about your latest publication.

In a typically English way I would like to start with the positive but I must
admit find it hard to come up with a great deal. However I did at least read it
from cover to cover so something must have kept me turning the pages. I bought
the book because I felt it would be interesting to read a fellow ‘farang’
Englishman’s take on the Land of Smiles. I also vainly hoped you might deliver
what is proclaimed in the sleeve notes ie ‘If you want to know what makes ‘Thai
girls’ tick, you’ve found it’. I should have known better.

Until the last few chapters in which you display a glimpse of insightfulness you
portray yourself throughout the book as a complete doormat the typical innocent
abroad and Cat as a scheming and demented spendthrift. I would have thought a
sexagenarian with your travel experience would have already discovered all women
regardless of nationality are at least a little bit mad. Whether this is to do
with conditioning or hormones or something else the only way to have any kind of
successful relationship with them is to find one whose particular neurosis you can
live with. In this regard you seem to have found a good partner in Cat.

One irritating feature in your writing is to continually justify your acquiescent
behaviour as ‘going with the flow’ and in so doing that you are in some way
gaining a kind of spiritual enlightenment, as if getting a little closer to
nirvana (perhaps a hangover from your ‘self-actualisation through macramé’ days).
In reality you have just been had and taken advantage of which happens to us all
on occasions. However you seem to revel in it and portray yourself as completely
spineless.

Some of the book’s chapters deal with topics I identify with and I completely
concur with your experiences with the British Embassy in Bangkok. Things have
somewhat changed since the time you wrote about. They now employ a private
company to handle visa applications and the whole process has become a money
making scam. I am currently trying to complain to my MP but am not making much
headway.

There are indeed too many funerals and where my particular Thai girl, Tik comes
from near Uttradict, there is a ceremony nearly every week. Like Cat her elder
sister ‘It’ (yes that was her nickname) died last year, she was the same age as
me. I had only previously witnessed small portions of a Thai funeral ceremony but
this time I see the whole week long ritual from the moment the body arrives till
the final family gathering after the cremation. It is a fascinating, sad, happy,
tedious and sometimes just unbelievable event.

I too have been suckered into helping with the cost of building a grey concrete
wall and with the clearing and raising up of land with poor quality soil for no
apparent reason. Thankfully there the similarities end. Tik has not ever
insisted I build her a house or provide one for her family yet she is the only
member of her family without property of her own. We currently rent a town house
for £50 per month which suits us fine. I do intend to buy a house and put it in
her name. However it will be one that is already built as there are far too many
vacant properties in Thailand.

I too find myself short of money and in need of an income but I could never be as
presumptuous as to assume anyone would wish to publish let alone read my own
journal of experiences living with a Thai lady in Chiang Mai. As it is I am never
sure if they bore or entertain my friends with whom I currently share them with.

I am not sure who are the intended readers of your book as in my experience
‘ farang’ already living here have too entrenched opinions about Thailand to want
to read another persons impressions. Whilst people back in England may be
intrigued with life in the Land of Smiles tend not to be able to relate to it and
also take the view that it is a place old men come to procure young women.

Last but not least the caricature of yourself on the cover bears little
resemblance to the photos of you. The caricature looks more like a bush
whacking Aussie.

Regards & Best wishes

Chris & Tik

I've been a magazine writer and editor for the best part of twelve years and if I've learned anything it's that technically brilliant writing does not necessarily translate into compelling storytelling. Exceptional writers like John Burdett, who excel at both are just that: exceptional.

I read THAI GIRL off the back of a Haruki Murakami book and, perhaps inevitably after this, found the writing so pedestrian I was tempted to stop reading it immediately. However, I was quickly drawn into the story and this is where the author's talent really lies: he has a natural gift for narrative. No matter that there's no strong plot; the dialogue, at times, is verging on the ludicrous. (Andrew, I don't know where you did your research on 'yoof-speak' but it's pretty wide of the mark) and the characters mostly flat and in danger of degenerating into unsympathetic caricatures (although, in fairness, this is probably a more a consequence of the nature of the characters more than any defect in the ability of the writer). Despite these weaknesses, Hicks' raw talent for storytelling keeps the reader turning the pages and this is the prime directive in any kind of writing.

The real heart and soul of this book lies in the character of Fon (the 'Thai girl'). Beautifully observed and drawn, a striking metaphor for Thai culture itself, it is through her that Hicks adeptly explores the central theme of most books of this genre: the difficulty, frustration, pain and, perhaps ultimately, the futility of the foreigner trying to come to terms with the mercurial nature of Thailand. It is to his credit - and I believe displays and reflects the respect he has for this country - that he chose not to use the hackneyed milieu of the Bangkok bar scene as a vehicle to achieve this.

One thing I particularly enjoyed (and Andrew, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm sure parody wasn't actually your intention and I hope you don't take this the wrong way) was the 'travellers' in this book came off as what I've always believed them to be - witless cretins. Their asinine discussion of world politics and their eagerness to spew forth ill-informed gibberish on any subject I found hilariously accurate, as I'm sure would anyone with half a brain who's spent more than five seconds on Khao San Road or any of the islands.

I also applaud your bravery in how you handled the ending of the story (although I'm not sure how this will affect your film rights - it's not very 'Hollywood' is it?), but, as I believe you have mentioned somewhere in this thread, to soft-soap the end the the story would have been a cop-out and negated the main point of the book.

Anyway Andrew, if you happen to read this, well done for getting Thai Girl published. It's a good book and I'd recommend it to anyone. I'll certainly look out for your new book, MY THAI GIRL AND I.

I reply gratefully to all your comment, however received and I wrote a long and grateful one to mkasok for his about THAI GIRL. I was a bit defensive about the ‘yoof speak’ but said I’d worked pretty hard at getting this right, getting my son, Mike to read the draft novel and red pencil some of the lingo he thought wasn’t current. As a university lecturer in UK, I thought I was pretty much up to speed on yoof speak… i even went to Australia to research Strine and met many young American travelers. “Hey dude, that may sound hackneyed but it’s still cool, man!’ would you believe it!

And yes, I guess I was sending up the travelers a bit. They think they’re so cool and experienced, but infuriatingly they don’t have nearly as many wrinkles as me.

Thanks for all your nice comments, and incidentally I’ve signed an option agreement with a small film company in LA for THAI GIRL. I particularly like them because they think the ending is absolutely right for the story and want to keep it that way for the movie. If it ever gets shot, that is!

Dear Andrew,

What a fantastic novel you have written. Is there a follow up to THAI GIRL about what happens with Fon and Ben?

I know Thailand very well so could picture all that you wrote.

Keep writing as you are superb at it.

Regards,
Richard

Message 59

Hi Andrew,

I have just bought your book, THAI GIRL (In Malaysia) last week and even though I have not finished reading it, i already have mixed feelings about the characters. I like Maca and Chuck but I hate the way Emma treated Ben. She shouldn't be that jealous over Ben. I have a series of books about bar girls from Singapore and Thailand itself, but your book is the best.

Even though I have not finished reading it (couldn't find that much time since im working) I know it will be worth reading it and I am just so excited to post you a note after viewing your
website.

I love Thailand through my reading and planning to go there one day. Go on and write more books.

I am gonna keep on looking for your latest novels in town (Malaysia maybe
a bit late especially as I am in Miri, east Malaysia)

Regards

CT

Andrew,

After reading "Thai Girl" I thought, "Well, this guy's been around Thailand for sure.'

Then going through the reader's comments I have to say that they pretty much
capture my thoughts and feelings about the different characters. Although I have
to say that I liked Jack Russell as one of the standouts.

I could not help thinking that he's a kind of mythologial figure, a messenger, a
guide of sorts on the path of Ben's life. (Jack Russell's are a breed of dog, as
I'm sure you know). As an animal, man's best friend, and all that. I think he
helped Ben with some conflicts. Jack's own job and history spans and reflects our
own life-cycle, from youth to death. So again, the messenger himself (not a
Christian take here, thank-you) is a being who has seen a lot of things and has
an understanding (and compassion) for it all because he has walked in both world's, including the one that Ben has just been introduced to.

A movie? Yes, please. A continuing story? I'd love to read it.

Thanks again for a good book. A nice introduction for me at so early a stage in my life in Thailand, and for one about as green as Ben!

Sincerely,

Barry

I just finished reading your book "Thai Girl." I pretty much read it
in one gulp, as I could not put it down.

I spend every summer in Southeast or East Asia. Been to Thailand many
times. You captured the essence of Thailand and its people,
incredibly well, especially as to how farang might best be able to see
them.

And, most importantly, yours is an honest account and characterization
of how any farang man with a good heart and with good intentions
(while myopic) will want to be a knight in shining armor and rescue at
least one of the young girls of Thailand that are born into poverty, and who
must do whatever they can to make ends meet, and yet are still able to
maintain a giggly and positive outlook on life. But alas, the reality of farang
heroics of this kind is going to be, pretty much inevitably,
undermined by the stupid reality of a social divide.

If you don't mind a plea from a stranger: there can NOT be a sequel to this book, at least not one with a happy ending. The end to your book is truly
where this story ends, which is sadly, for both Ben and Fon.

I have to say, I have never been so excited whilst reading a novel as I was
'Thaigirl". I read all of the book in only 4 days which was a complete surprise for
me as it usually takes me months to finish one book.

I was hooked reading it. i could hardly wait to know what would become of Ben and Fon. I was finding it frustrating everytime Ben and Fon would get close, only to have something happen to divide them again.

The ending was also something that caused me to have great mixed emotions. I was disapointed with the ending at first. I think I was expecting some sort of fairytale ending between Ben and Fon. After having a bit of time afterwards to think about the book, i realised that the ending was actually the best way for this story to end.

I could just imagine how Fon would have been feeling, waiting for Ben, thinking of
him everyday. Was the ending intended to make it end up just as a holiday romance for Ben? He did seem a lot more concerned about himself on getting back to England then what he was while on holiday.

I read some of the readers comments in the forum set up on the website. I must say I would like it so much to be able to have an open forum where we could all discuss the book with each other. There were quite a few comments that I would like to be able to discuss openly.

I have visited a few countries in South East Asia and I think your book is so spot
on with the way I've experienced these countries as well. I too had a
holiday romance while I was trekking through Philippines. It was great and quite
possibly one of the happiest times of my life. Simply it was amazing.

While walking through Singapore airport on the trip home, I came across your book. It struck me straight away, as I share the same name and age group with the
main character "Ben" which helped me in deciding to buy the book.

I too feel like Ben, in the way he felt about his relationship with Fon. I felt it
improbable that I would see this girl again as it was just too hard for us to be
together. Since being home I haven't been interested in anyone else and find that I
feel now that maybe somehow I could make it work.

Anyway i didn't really want to tell you my story as you must hear quite a few stories
from guy's saying that they have found love in the same way as Ben But I do want to say thank you for writing this book; it really did touch me and found its way into the sensitive side that I have and usually hide from the world.

I hope a scriptwriter picks up on your book and decides to make a screenplay from it. I really could see a movie made of this story and think maybe it would be a hit with some sort of cult following. I will again read this book soon as I would like to see if there was anything I didn't pick up on the first time.

Thank you Andrew for this inspiring novel which has touched me so and will remain proudly on my bookshelf until the day I die.

Just got back to my home country (Denmark) after 2 months journey in
Thailand and Malaysia, whereof I spent one month in Isaan, and like Ben, I
also fell for a thai girl.

Your book taught me a lot about Thailand and Thai culture, it also helped me
to understand my girlfriend better.

I borrowed the book from my friend, before we left for Koh Samet, where I
then read most of Thai Girl. It was a strange, almost uncanny, feeling
sitting right there on Koh Samet and reading what could almost be called my
own story, because like Ben, of course I also had to leave my girl, and just
get on the plane. And she also is from Isaan, and her parents are rice
farmers, like so many other girls that foreigners meet I guess.

Although a few of the conversations seemed a bit unrealistic to me, I think
Thai Girl is a straight forward and well written story and not only is the
story engaging, but we also learn something from it, even though at first it
might seem like a poolside read about some dull romance.

The next time I go to Thailand, which might be more or less permanently, I
will bring a copy of Thai Girl and read it a second time, and hopefully a
sequel or something similar.

I found that your novel captured the complexities of the Thai-Farang relationships very well.

I originally avoided Thai Girl because I thought it was just another book about prostitutes, but it presented both sides with more depth than other books in the genre.

It was a wise move to cast the main female character as a low-educated massage therapist, rather than some conniving stereotype.

You also tapped into the one element that is usually forgotten - the consequence and aftermath of the farang going back home. Most books about Thai-farang relationships fail to acknowlege the impact of the visiting tourist.

Also, thank you for leaving some parts ambiguous. It was a treat to not have it all spelled out in advance. While reading Thai Girl , you kept me wondering if the female character had hidden ulterior motives and if the male character was being sincere or naive. It made the ride of reading go much more smoothly when I didn't know where the path would lead.

In fact I'm writing a book that I hope to call, 'My Thai and I', my Thai of course being my wife. It's about living out here in the back of beyond in the NE of Thailand and I've put some experimental pieces on www.thaigirl2004.blogspot.com. I'd love you to have a look at the blog which has gone down pretty well as the top hitting Thai-based blog listed on www.thailandvoice.com. The instant satisfaction of seeing one's blog and photos appear on the screen is amazing even if in fact nobody reads it at all.

Hi Andrew,

I've recently read your book, 'Thai Girl' on holiday in Thailand. It brings tears of joy and
tears of laughter and how true it is to real life. Is there another book about your true life, of farang meeting Thai girl? And is your story based upon you and your Thai wife? I'd love to know. Anyway it's certainly a very good read. I do hope there's another book coming. I'm visiting Thailand again this year as I love the people and their culture.

It's great to hear that you enjoyed "Thai Girl'. Most of the readers who write to me seem to be men who find that the story reflects their own experiences, but as a strong theme of the book is what it's like to be a woman in Thailand, I hope there's something in it for everyone.

Of course authors always get asked if their story is autobiographical and they generally deny it! But no, in fact I met my Thai wife just at the time I was finishing the final draft of the book so it's not our story at all.

If a story of love and longing and loss is to be convincing, then it must to an extent be autobiographical… for the author to have experienced these emotions. However, in my case the story of Ben and Fon is not specifically my story, though of course I cannot deny falling in love with and in Thailand. Most of the characters in the book including Fon are based on real people I've met there and whose essence I distilled into my notebooks, but with regard to the prototype for Fon, Ben's experiences were ones that might have happened to me but never in fact did.

Some of my readers credit me with special insight into relationships between farang and Thais but really I deny any such as my experience is quite limited. The story of Ben and Fon, is simply the natural playfulness of a Thai woman, tempered by her suspicion of foreign men interacting with Ben's hormonal passion for an exotic and utterly beguiling woman. She's always saying come hither but she doesn't always mean it, nor even herself know if she means it. For the farang male, that's what makes a cross-cultural relationship so utterly, so intolerably exciting.

I just finished reading your book "Thai Girl" and having a Thai daughter in law myself I could very well relate and identify with your well expressed content of that mysterious culture. I have visited Bangkok a few times with my son, but unlike Ben I was surrounded with Thais and not farangs. On my next visit I intend to acquaint myself with the many farangs, yes, of all shapes and sizes that abound in this phenomenal city.

Now, having said the above, I have to take you to task on some of the
dialect you used. I have been away from England for many years and I am finding it difficult to believe that today's travelers from the old country(ies) still used the outmoded expressions such as "doss house" "prat", "pommy", "brilliant." I do know people from England of advanced age who still say "brill" or "brilliant: but I thought this was now a worn out expression such as "chilled out" which you have also used in your book. And of course, I know older Americans who still use that outmoded overworked expression, but really is it not true that these expressions usually have their time and are then discarded for the newer "in" version.

Please tell me that the Youth - the hope of our future - are really not submerged in this verbal time warp?????

Please, "Jumping Joe Jackson" Say it isn't true.

Looking forward to your comments on the above. And again, thank you for the insight, which only served to confirm what I sensed is the elusive corpus of Thai girls - beautiful creatures born to please farangs - and they do it so well.

Keep the good stories coming,

Sincere Best Wishes for 2007. Maybe see you in Thailand later this year.

Mary Cina

Dear Mary,

Thanks so much for your very specific lit crit about colloquialisms in Thai Girl. I really appreciate it because it's the first I've had as readers usually focus on the wider themes.

You've hit on some interesting points and maybe you're right... maybe too it betrays my age! In fact I did work quite hard on the colloquialisms as a friend suggested to me that with so many characters taking part in some fairly static in-bar dialogues, it was important to create a distinctive voice for each of them. Some of the walk-on parts are not too significant and if as a result they took on an element of caricature, I wasn't too worried.

Fon was the key of course and I studied the argot of migrant workers who'd learned their English from tourists with alacrity. In fact much of her language usage is based on the construction of how she would say the same thing in Thai. Stuart, the Scot was easy, as was Clarissa, the knobby Brit. For Maca, I traveled throughout Australia listening hard and adding to the dictionary of Strine that I bought there. I made a list of expressions that I liked and ticked them off as Maca uttered them so that he didn't over-use any. I've met quite a few traveler and other Aussies who, in the presence of non-Aussies tend to assume a faux 'Crocodile Dundee' persona and take the piss, especially of a middle class pommie bastard like Ben. I must've been called a pommie a million times!

Jack Russell, the thinking man's sex tourist from Yorkshire had some language put in his mouth from a Yorkshire dialect I found on the web. Which I suppose leaves the problem of Chuck, Emma and Ben! As for Chuck, I've been amazed with younger Americans I've met, just how archaic their slang can be. I think of a lad I found myself walking with in the mountains of Cameron Highlands in Malaysia shortly before I wrote the book. It's bad news for you, Mary, but yes, everything was cool, chilled out and like crazy man. I kinda got a feelin' I was in some sorta time warp. He was twenty two!

My recent experience of young Brits is of my own kids who are contemporaries of Emma and Ben and of ten years lecturing to that age group at the green welly University of Exeter in the west of England. I've listened pretty hard and taken notes, and again you'd be amazed how reactionary their colloquialisms were. If 'brill' might be a bit naff, 'brilliant' was still current. I asked my son Mike to read a draft of the book with the dialogue particularly in mind and he did excise a few 'isms that were too dated, and he had a good laugh at my expense. But the ones you mention slipped past him.

What you say is probably right and I may have over-used my dialect palette, though I did want Ben to be a distinctly upper middle class lad from a slightly plummy background of private school privilege, precisely the sort Maca might take the piss of as a bloody pom. Emma's language is, I hope a bit more grounded in the present, with some of it pretty blunt and down to earth. I believe, from memory that a prat is a pregnant fish.

Well, thanks again and do get in touch when next in Thailand. It would be good if our paths could cross. I hope your son has read 'Thai Girl' and do pass it on to your friends, even if at risk of polluting their minds with some frightfully outdated colloquialisms!

I have recently finished your fantastic novel Thai Girl. I found so many things in your book that struck home to own personal involvement with Thailand and Thai people. My current situation is that I have a Thai Girlfriend who I have known now for 2 years.

My Journey started after meeting a Thai lady whilst still here in England which resulted in me getting my heart broken. We remained friends but one of the reasons for breaking up was my lack of understanding of Thai culture, I just could not understand why she always wanted to help her family and did everything when her brother did nothing, Now I fully understand.

To get over my heartache I booked a 2 week holiday to Thailand to Bangkok and Pattaya, at this point I had no understanding of the sex industry and what went on. I then found out all the truths 3 days before departure whilst looking on the internet. When I went to Pattaya my eyes were truly opened.

I have to admit that I did have my share of girls before one night going into a well known go go club where I came across my now girlfriend. We then spent the rest of my holiday together and when my time came to go back to Bangkok we left together. The inevitable day came and we had to part and that time I must say that I felt like Ben and Fon, sad and hurt. I was telling my teeruk that I will be back in Feb 05. The look in her eyes stays with me to this day (I hope so but I will not hold my breath). This you explained in your book with Ben and Fon I guess she wanted him to return but thought it would never happen.

After my return I went about my life and we exchanged e-mails. i was ok but I did remember thinking I wonder if she will ever stop working in the go go bar. I duly returned in feb 05 and then that's when the love really kicked in as I think then she thought more of me than just another customer. Since then I have been back to Thailand 6 more times and leaving tomorrow to see my love again.

The moment for me that made up my mind that she was special was that my girlfriend never asked me for any money when we were apart. i knew that she had other customers that were sending her money for her love and one man even asked her to marry him, but she never asked me for it. Then one day she felt the need to ask as her mother was sick, the pain in her voice was sad and of course i had to help. She still held true to her thoughts that maybe she could have both love and someone too provide for her family. My girlfriend had a vision like many girls from Issan to make enough money for a new house for her mother and to look after her.

The time that we were apart was sometime very painful as we talked every day on the phone and she would call me after work to tell me that she had to go with a
customer, this i found very difficult as although i understood why, it still hurt my heart.

Then came the time that I had to ask her when she would stop working and after we talked she agreed that she would stop earlier this year. My girlfriend has not been working in the bar scene since June and we are now discussing our future together. I am looking forward to going home to Ubon in Feb as this will be the first time that I will meet my girlfriend's Mother. She would not take me whilst she was working and until she was sure that I would be around for ever. I guess that she did not want to be seen with a falung and then not get married?

Reading your book brought out all the emotions that i have felt over the past 2 years. The hardest thing i find is how to explain to others the reasons why these girls enter this way of life. i personally have a lot of time for them as they really are amazing. The majority would choose another way of life if the opportunities were there that we have in the west, but they are not, so they do the best they can to provide for the family. Could you imagine an English girl doing all that to provide for their mother??

I too, like many of your readers, wished for a happy ending and yes it brought tears to my eyes, I think more for the fact that I was missing my girlfriend. I have passed the book onto friends to read in the hope that they can understand the way of life, and what drives the girls to do this work. My next big challenge is to get married and then face my parents when I get asked, 'So where did you meet her then'?

Keep up the good work Andrew and i will keep checking back for Thai Girl 2. I will also buy another copy for my Thai friends to get their thoughts on your story.

Martin (35) England

Hi Andrew
I have just finished your book and confess that as much as I wanted to like it, I regret that I found it quite repetitive and quite boring. I did however love the political views in the conversations between the travelers, and that is what kept me reading.

I found the character of Ben to be idealistic, hypocritical and perhaps for me, unbelievable. I have never met a young man who talks of love to a ladyman while in Thailand. Ben was too romantic in the book and this made it too unbelievable for me. His relationship with Fon was repetitive and at one point I put the book down as I was feeling so uninterested in their repetitive relationship. Luckily I picked it back up to be rewarded with wonderful pages of the politics of Bush, war and globalisation which were so wonderful and found that the book was only saved by those few pages. The conversations between the travelers was the highlights to the book.

I purchased the book on leaving Singapore after a couple of weeks in
Thailand. I am sorry to say that I think, for me, it was too bogged down in an uninteresting romance.

I am sorry to say this, but I believe that you show in the conversation
pieces that you have wonderful political views that I think the world need to hear and not hide them in the midst of an uninteresting romance. I hope that you concentrate on the political side that you so wonderfully narrated throughout the book, then publish that and let me be the first one to read it. I know I would not put the book down.

As I say, it is only my opinion and this is only my perspective and I wanted to take up the offer of emailing you with some of my views.

Oh well, you can't please all of the people all of the time and I'm very happy that you've said some very nice things about parts of the book, at least. And I am being totally honest when I say how much I appreciate your feedback as I find it very interesting to learn different peoples' response to the story. Your message also helps save the Readers Forum from becoming repetitive and boring because it says the diametric opposite of most previous ones. I'm particularly glad you liked the travelers' alcohol-inspired 'political' dialogues in the book as there have been several critics (all of them American)who've said this is the weakest part of the book.

Personally I'm very picky about the novels I read and frankly I enjoy relatively few of them. For example I found 'The Da Vinci Code' quite ridiculous, though the religious themes were fascinating. Certainly a novel sometimes can be redeemed by politics or religion though in my opinion, very rarely by sex.

Okay, so you didn't believe in hypocritical Ben as he was far too romantic, though other readers do seem to get very involved with his passion for Fon. One tough Aussie told me how he was reading the book at work and had to go outside so his staff couldn't see how much it was affecting him!

So you've never personally come across the soft, feminine side that causes us men sometimes to make such fools of ourselves?! I respect what you say, but I don't think Ben's obsessive love for Fon is so atypical for an inexperienced young lad; though Clarissa, the posh English lawyer simply puts it down to lust! He is simply following our western traditions of courtship, wallowing in love and sighing from afar for his lady, something that the Thais never begin to understand. He wants Fon to love him in the purest way possible too, though if Jack Russell is right, she'll be more interested in his wallet and on that score he doesn't do too well at all. Fon always tells Ben that passionate love is dangerous, but perhaps in the end she loses control of her emotions and suffers as a result.

Western men can certainly be bewitched by Asian women and sometimes, despite an apparently unlimited choice, they are romantic enough to fall for one woman and to want that one only. If you need any evidence just how romantic men can be, you have to look no further than the story of Robin in the previous Message 48 on this Forum.

Finally, no, I'm sorry I haven't written anything political, though how about corporate law? If that tickles your fancy, why not Google 'hicks and goo company law'. It'll be great for insomnia and it's got absolutely nothing in it about romantic men, though even we lawyers can be romantic sometimes!

I have just this minute finished the book and i had to write an email just simply as this book was amazing and a subject so close to my heart.

I am currently in Thailand and in fact living with my girlfriend who was and is a bar girl. Our story was very much similar to Ben and Fon's and for me being only 21, the difficulties of a young relationship over here are very hard.

The difference obviously being that mygirlfriend was not shall we say as lucky as Fon and did not find an alternative to working in a bar. But she is a happy girl from Isaan, always looking to provide for her Mother.

I thought you captured stereotypes brilliantly in the main characters, while making Fon respectable yet very poor. This i would say is a rareity over here because many girls have no choice but to work in a bar. However i don't quite think the book captured their view on sex and the sex trade. For instance it is accepted by almost every girl's father over here, and in fact encouraged that she works in a bar. Sex is very liberal. They separate themselves from sex with a customer and very often act as though it doesn't happen and have regular boyfriends. My girl does not go with customers, though she has before and it is part of life i have to accept.

I liked the way Ben was a typical western male; in a way i found him similar to myself. I
obviously went to a bar and met my girlfriend but since speaking to her and hearing what she had to do, i find the sex trade here disgusting and vile.

Ben kept himself very well throughout the book getting drunk to forget and making new friends. And also Emma, a very typical modern western woman, demanding and not easy to read. I longed for a happy ending and really expected this book to end differently. I guess i hoped it would. I mean i remember very well when i met my girlfriend, i was staying for two weeks and after i left i did not know what to expect. I returned home to my job and home. I thought she would do the same and forget about me. I got home and called her everyday, missed her with such great pain it was unbelievable. So i quit my job and came back to Thailand.

I get by and go home every now and then, but i would do anything for this girl as love has conquered me. I had a good job and life, but love is more important to me then all that. As yet she cannot come to England and until then i come and see her. I just guess what i am saying is that i expected Ben to do something similar. Although tied down, i expected him to come home and feel the same pain i did and have to come back! I suppose i was hoping the story would end that way.

It was a great novel and as i say a story very close to my heart.There were parts i would say were slightly off, but this book is so close to what i have lived, there are going to be differences. I think there was a slight lack of emphasis on how a farang is seen in Buriram.
Visiting there quite recently to see my girlfriend's family, as a farang you are treated like a celebrity because you are classed as rich. Children follow you and point, and people on every corner try and speak to you in Thai.

Finally one thing i think that was majorly under-exaggerated was money. Thai people expect farang to pay for things not through rudeness but through culture. Farang are rich and we can go on holiday and not work, but Thai people do not. If you eat with Thai people generally as a farang you pay. When you go to meet the family you pay! I think there was a slight lack of emphasis on this part. I am sorry Andrew i have read back and it seems, taken a brilliant book and critiscised it. That is not what i am doing at all; i am just
comparing my experiences, in the hope you might be slightly interested.

I hope there may be a second installment to find out what happens if anything between Ben and Fon, as the fairytale could be complete if they can wait for each other. And anything is possible if you are willing to make it happen!

Thanks so much for you message with your compliments which mean a lot to me and for your heartfelt story.

You say you hoped for and expected a different ending to the book but as far as the story goes, it is exactly the same as yours. What has to happen at the end of the holiday, but you get on the plane and go back home!

Ben tells Fon what you have just said to me, that you can make anything happen in life if you want to; maybe he will be as determined as you in this, but maybe not. As Emma coldly predicted, perhaps it was always likely that his family would find him a cosy career and that he has now reverted to type as a conventional middle-class guy.

Of course it's he who has all the opportunities in life, while poignantly Fon is left on the beach working from day to day, waiting for a letter and hoping that her worst fears have not materialised.

Yes, Ben is devastated at leaving her, but as the theme of the story is perhaps of hopeless love, longing, separation and loss, it would have been a sell-out if I'd let them sail off into the sunset together. But it's never over till it's over and who knows what will
happen to them!

Yes, it's, true Thai/Lao culture has a long tradition of taking a minor wife, even one taken for only an hour or two. You call the bar scene 'disgusting and vile', so can the girls really be totally immune to all of that?

Certainly some parents now hope for girl children as they are more dutiful and make better money than men, who are often drunks and wasters. They may also sell their daughters or connive at their new life, if the money keeps flowing back to them. But sometimes if it is
her choice to work in a bar, she may keep it as secret as possible.When she goes back to the village, everyone will smile at her but they may envy her money as well as despise her and there will be vicious talk. The farang, not speaking Thai/Lao/Khmen/Suay, you will miss all
that!

There is a genuine modesty among Thai women and who knows what it takes to display yourself naked every night and to be available to every grotesque old bloke without the option to say no. You will never hear anything of this though, because it is not the Thai way to talk about it; the trauma will simply be smoothed over. You may thus get the impression that offering sex for sale is not a big deal. (Though see one of the earlier messages on this Forum where a Thai talks of the long-term trauma of being a bar girl.)

Finally, Ben does attract a lot of attention when they go to the village, such as on the local bus, the inevitable implication always being drawn by the Thais. And yes, the money thing is not made a lot of in the book, but Ben always pays for everything, doesn't he, and Fon and Jinda do quite nicely out of him with a free trip home to see Mama, all expenses paid.

So to finish, follow your dream, mate and good luck to you. It'll always be one of the greatest experiences of your life. It's extraordinary the fascination we and the Thais seem to have for each other.

Anyway, tell everyone about "Thai Girl" and do keep in touch. You wanted to know how my story ends and I want to know about yours!

PS. Your email to me had no subject and I nearly deleted it with the thirty or so spams I get every day. Do make sure and mark it Thai Girl if you write again.

I've just completed your novel: Thai Girl. Very poignant, emotional and a great read. It's a very touching story. Not what I was expecting at all (after reading Bangkok 8 and Tattoo by Burdett). While I was reading your book, I imagined that the smart, scheming Fon was stringing along love-struck, naive Ben. But in the end, well, he turned out to be a flakey young farang.

I thought the story was a well-weaved misdirect and,at the same time, very symbolic of what could happen to thailand's tourism industry when Burma becomes the next 'in' tourist destination, as mentioned by one of your book's characters.

Thai Girl would make a great movie. I hope someone has been smart enough to snap up the film rights. I laughed outloud at Odin's comment about David slaying Goliath with his g-string.

You say the book wasn't what you were expecting and I wonder which publisher's version you read. The book cover as sold in Thailand is rather more lurid than the one published in Singapore (see www.thaigirl2004.com) and they might raise different expectations. I wonder which one represents the book better and would love to know what readers think.

And yes, a movie! Of course I agree with you, it could be a great movie, though the ending is hardly classic Hollywood.

Did you ever see 'Hideous Kinky', a delightful low budget film with Kate Winslett. In the spirit of the sixties she bums off to Morocco with her two little girls and has an affair with a Moroccan boy. It's never likely to come to anything and at the end she just has to leave him and go home. A Romeo and Juliet theme where two totally different people are hopelessly drawn to each other and then torn apart can be very moving. Some people think the ending of "Thai Girl" is a bit of an anti-climax while others say that the emotional climax is when Ben leaves Fon on the island which tugs at their heart strings. As in
'Hideous Kinky' it could make a powerful ending to a movie.

I am Jann, a 18 year-old Dentistry student at Khon Kaen University, Thailand. I bought your novel a year ago or so when I was in secondary school, by chance of stumbling into it in a book shop in Don Muang airport. The reasons to buy the novel were so simple: its cover and of course it's about a 'Thai girl'..which I thought might have something to do with my surroundings and me' Because of my Admission exam and geting into university, I had to put your novel down and turned to my textbooks.....

I have just finished reading your novel by now and like other readers said--It's brilliant! However, it seems to me that the novel doesn't cover all the characteritics of "a Thai Girl" that appears as its title ....obviously the novel mentions about Isaan girls mainly. And I understand why that is. Isaan is a so called poorest part of Thailand, but the richest part in humor and smiles. If you had noticed, most of Thai comedians are from Isaan. Most of us have hard lives....so it's kind of a smile to hide the pain. We have to be happy and learn to be satisfied with all the things we have, and live our lives peacfully.

However as the capitalised economy comes closer and closer and now totally surrounds us, we cannot possibly stay cool and live easy like a 'slowly blowing wind'. Captivated by the colour of the modern cities and technologies, money is a big deal to everyone. You could die poor by starvation if you're not energetic and get used to doing things fast and pulling tricks to make money like people in the city. But how could uneducated people in Isaan do something like that. They fall behind, don't know much about new technologies and what's going on in this world, except worrying about 'will there be enough
rain to grow rice?'. So, if the old man is too fallen behind and too poor to support education for his next generation , what's the choice for the next generation then?..... To leave school and find work in the city is only the first thing that
springs to their mind. A boy is to be a labourer and a girl, if she has got a good mind and wants to struggle, then she might do something like Fon, but if she isn't and prefers some easier way, she might be a pretty girl in a car showroom or a prostitute...or a 'temporaly wife' for a dirty Farang.

Your novel is almost true about Isaan girls, but not always. The discussions among Farangs in your novel about Thailand and
Thai girls are interesting...and I think it would be nice if Thai people were good at English and able to speak out for themselve. It's very disappointing and upsetting about some views of Thai girls and Farangs because for some girls they think of a Farang as their Hero or Rescuer, but instead for some Farangs, they think of her as a money spender and something to relieve their sexual desire.

It's nice though to hear some bad view of Farangs toward us...If you have this novel in Thai edition, it would be really nice for us to understand Farangs and of course, to know where we stand in what way --negative or positive in Farang's opinions.

Again, the novel is great.... However, it would make me cry a river if Fon had got a sad ending. Her life is hard and misery enough. If you are planning to write part 2 of the novel, please dont let Ben break her heart, please!

Thanks so much for your lovely message. I am always especially thrilled to receive a message from a Thai person as I have little idea how many Thais read the book and what they think of it. Yes, I'd really like to see it published in Thai because I hope that Thai readers would enjoy it as much as foreigners seem to have.

I am fascinated by your description of being young and Thai and how life can be tough in this country. As you say, things are changing so fast here and the rural people lose out all the time. Do you remember Ben and his friends talking about how Thailand is rushing too fast into a consumer society and losing some of its cultural values? And remember him standing
dreaming in the rice field in Buriram, thinking what a beautiful life it could be in the village with your extended family all around you, if only farming could give you a proper livelihood and how sad it is to see rural life breaking down as everyone floods to the cities for low paid work.

Yes, the people of Isaan represent a triumph of the human spirit, but I do hope that when they take the role of comedian, Thailand is laughing with them and not laughing at them for being 'Lao'.

Do some of the farang in the book have a low view of Thai women? Surely not! I thought they all loved the Thai people as a whole. As Maca said,he chooses to be in Thailand for the Thai people and their gentleness. Okay, at the end Emma and Ben say how sad it is that Thai women have the reputation world-wide of being available to any man who will pay them, but this is a stereotype that has arisen from the huge scale of 'adult entertainment'in Thailand. In contrast, of course, the "Thai Girl" story portrays Thais in a good light and is a about a young woman who is the opposite of that stereotype, professing traditional values that are still surprisingly strong today throughout the country.

And finally, you'll cry a river if I break Fon's heart in Thai Girl-2! I'm so pleased that you care! But at the end of the book, Ben is in London about to start a two year internship as a lawyer while Fon is still on Koh Samet waiting and wondering. Maybe her heart's been broken already!

I enjoyed your book, thanks for writing it.

* The good: I love Thailand, the Thai people, and yes, especially Thai woman. Some have such a sweet voice, I can listen to them talk Thai all day. Your book brought back many
good memories for me.

* The bad: I was
looking more for romance between Fon and Ben...or at least one less sexually frustrating. I know that men do go to Thailand, some for the sex trade, some for the week long girlfriend experience, and some for love and marrige, and some to live in that wonderful country for years on end. However, Fon's approach to life and sex did highlight the difference between women. Some do anything for money, and some save themselves for family, love and marriage. I think this is a theme all over the world. In poor countries, there are "special" circumstances which I believe you highligted admirably.

* The ugly: Emma. Need I say more?
Well, Ben was a bit of a wanker at times too, but Emma was down right bitchy.
My friend and I had a big laugh about how she emmulates western (white) women we have known.

I often think Western women want to know what men can do for them, and Thai women want to know what they can do for men. I mean this in a broad sense, to make a man comfortable with clean clothes, food, happiness, and yes, sex. Whereas western women want to know
what a man can do for them to make their life better.

I read some where, western women want to be like men, and Thai women want to be like
women. I tend to care and treat real women more romanticly than women that want to be like men. Or as another friend of mine said, "I know when a woman is too much of a man for me."

On another note, I read you wrote a paper or small book for the Filipinos in Hong Kong. Can I get more information about what your wrote, and how you distributed it?

Dear David,

Thanks for all your nice comments about "Thai Girl". I'm glad you enjoyed it and, I guess your mates read it too. Keep passing it on!

Yes, several readers have said that Emma is a wingeing !!!!!!, but don't be too hard on poor
Ben. He's still very young and wet around the ears!

I was interested in your thoughts on western and Thai women. Yes, the Thai women seem sweet and purry, but don't underestimate them for one moment. After the softening up
process, they're pretty formidable I can tell you. No passive, doe-eyed doormat, they're powerful personalities and no push-over and that's what I like them for.

My 'Filipina Helpers' Handbook' was published in Hong Kong in about 1981 and all 3,000
copies sold out in a few months. It was top of the SCM Post bestsellers' list, beating Frederick Forsyth into second place! There was a real need for it and I'm pleased to have done it. Only after I'd written "Thai Girl" did it cross my mind that the issues were much the same, of poor migrant workers leaving their villages to look for opportunities in a very tough world.

Just a short one to say how wonderful your book was. Unputdownable as we Brits say. My wife is a teacher in Udonthani and I love the way you portrayed Thailand in such a beautifully balanced way. I am a physiotherapist in Norfolk and I get very angry (so does Ona my wife) when young men come for treatment and inform me that they are going to Thailand for a holiday because ALL Thai women are "loose". You have done a geat deal in your book to dispel that ridiculous myth. Thank you for a wonderful, and beautifully balanced book about Thailand and Thai culture!! Roll on the next one!!

Best regards

Great book! I especially loved they way you portrayed the character Fon. I am engaged to an Isaan girl from a small village out side of Khon Kaen, and she is very much like Fon in every way. The respect for her family, her pride, her sharp wit and humor, mood swings – it’s all spot on. She is a strong woman, but still has a fragile femininity about her which I find very attractive. Without generalizing too much, this is something I find many western women today have lost in their pursuit of absolute equality.

My fiancé was lucky enough to get a good education. Even though her family is poor, they realized she had great potential, and after making some sacrifices were able to put her through international school in Bangkok. This I guess makes her a bit more accustomed to western culture, but I love the fact that she would never compromise her Thai values. As Fon in your book, there are still aspects of her life that she is very private about. After having lived in SE Asia for a while now, I am not blind to the difficulties of a cross cultural relationship, and I think you discuss some of these problems in your book very well. Excellent food for thought!

I read your book in one sitting, well actually squirming would be more
like it ! I picked up a copy in Surabaya airport whilst waiting to
return to a remote island in Indonesia. I am presently working on a
large construction project installing the basic infrastructure there. I
ended up stuck on a twin prop airplane for two hours, then a seaplane,
then a fast crew boat, then a fishing boat and then an outrigger canoe
and finally an open truck. I started the book in Surabaya at 06.00 and
inished it as the sun went down twelve hours later.

Ben comes accross as a total prick and one almost wishes that he finds
Fon shacked up with a fat ancient sausagebreath German at some stage,
but of course that would have ruined the whole scenario of the
innocence and purity of spirit of Fon.

Having lived, and loved, in Thailand I can emote with all of the players
in your story.

I have been resident in Indonesia for ten years and am very happily
married to a 'kampung girl' from East Java. They are far more reserved
and traditional in some ways than Thai girls, but can be earthy and
extremely hot-blooded as well. The ladies of the island of Madura are
reknowned for their physical beauty, sexual prowess and extreme
violence when crossed.

I have written several short articles about my life here, posted them
online, and all seem well received, I am therefore going to attempt to
emulate your example and write a fictional story about an East Javanese
girl. I considered Balinese but their lifestyles are much more complex.

Thanks for your very colourful message which I was delighted to receive, not just for your nice comments but also for learning that the book is available even in Surabaya and that it sustained you through such a gruelling journey.

I'm glad you could emote with Ben even though he is 'a total prick'! Of course there are lots of these cruising Thailand, innocents abroad, and the not so innocent treading the primrose path... though don't be too tough on poor Ben. He's very young and maturer men suffer similarly when they fall in love with and in Thailand.

You're obviously an old hand in Asia and I do hope you realise your plans to write. It's been a great experience for me, and well worth it even if the book had not been published. 'Thai Girl' is totally non-biographical, as I always tell people who ask, so now I'm writing a more personal view of my life in the far rice fields of Thailand. Likewise it's fun and publication is ultimately in the lap of the gods.

I have just finished reading your book, and I couldn't put it down. I
felt as if i was there in thailand, you have done an amazin job. I was
in thailand for 4 weeks in January, and I have ta say that after readin
your novel that I understand so much more. Me and my friends used to
think that all thai girls were the same and we could neva understand
how they used to sell themselves. We found them so intimidating as well,
but now I understand so much betta. I did not have many nice encounters
with the ladyboys ova there. I had one put a glass bottle to me, and
another tell me that she was married to some boy I was chatting to.

I stil dont understand why they took a disliking to me. I found it very strange how they
looked at us farang women but you explained it so well in your book. I
have more friends goin out to Thailand in afew months and I gave them
your book to read before they go, I told them that this is exactly
Thailand, that you have got it down to a t. You really have done a good
job.

ps sorry if my spellin is bad and if you cant understand some of my
slang, us Irish are terrible at writin..

You may not remember having met me in Asia Books at the Nana Square
centre (Sukhumvit Road) in January - but we had our photo taken together
in the shop (and developed on the spot). I have stuck a copy into the
frontispiece of "Thai Girl".

Ijust write to tell you how much I enjoyed your novel, which
I recently finished reading. I saved the best of the books I
brought home until last - and it lived up to expectations! Not least in
terms of excellent "production values" - quality of type and paper,
spelling and punctuation, etc. - although I have to say that some
publishers seem to cobble their productions together in an
exceedingly hasty manner. One in particular, "Lady of Isaan" by a
German chap, had a beautiful cover, but read as if it had been dictated
to someone over a bad phone line - indeed, dictated to a Thai secretary
who spoke barely any English and was writing things down on a purely
phonetic basis!

If you recall, I was with my friend Noi when I met you. We were off to
visit her family near Sisaket in Isaan the following day, and
you recommended a Khmer temple called Khao Phra Viharn on
the Cambodian border. Many thanks for that tip: we had a brilliant day
out - it was about 80 kilometres from her village. Absolutely stunning
views too - from the ledge looking out over Cambodia and Laos. The only
problem was I had to pay TWICE: once at the Thai check-point, then again
at the Cambodian one! But at least we did not need passports - despite
its being nominally on the Cambodian side, according to an American
couple we met.

When I read your novel, I found many uncanny parallels between that
day and the visit your hero makes to his Thai girlfriend's village and
to Phnom Rung - right down to the whole family (and several other
village kids) all piling into the back of the pick-up truck hired as
transport! I learnt a lot from your book about familial relations among
Thais (particularly about the matriarch's powerful position!),the
history of Isaan and its difference from other parts of Thailand, its
musical traditions,its female population, economic reasons
for migration to Bangkok, and so on and so forth. Like the couple in
your novel, we too arrived at dawn, and went to the market first thing -
followed in due course by culture shock when it came to meal-time!

All in all, your book proved "a rattling good yarn", as my father used
to say, and was well constructed. The only loose end I noticed was the
total non-reaction of the Thai Girl to the transvestite's poisonous
postcards - they seemed to make no difference to her attitude, nor did
she mention them in conversation. But maybe I missed something, and it
is NOT a loose end, after all?

It's great to hear from you and of course I remember the photo opportunity
in the bookshop. Things like that don't happen to me every day.

I'm glad you enjoyed Khao Phra Viharn. I think it's one of the great
Khmer temples and the position on top of the cliff is spectacular. Yes,
it is in Cambodia and so both the Thais and the Cambodians exact their
tolls before you go in! I've probably been there about ten times, which
is where I got my description of Ben and Fon visiting the temple, though I
moved them west to the temple at Khao Phnom Rung.

And of coure I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the book. I was intrigued by your
mention of a loose end... that Fon never mentions to Ben anything about
the postcard he sent her written for him by Odin, the jealous restauranteur. It
was my instinct that Fon, playing haughty and hard to get as she does, would simply
not mention the post card, and that Ben, fearing what Odin might have said, wouldn't
dare mention it either. Anyway, somehow I cannot imagine a Thai saying, "Oh yes, and thank
you for the lovely postcard." Nor even "What the hell was that crap you wrote
to me on that crazy postcard?" It'll all just be smoothed over and ignored.

So do please tell your friends about "Thai Girl" and pass it on to your friends
as I want it to be read! It's number two bestseller to the Da Vinci Code
in Singapore at the moment!

I'm in Hampshire looking out at the rain for the rest of the 'summer' before heading back to Thailand. What are you up to?

Hi Mr Andrew,

Your book was an excellent read, thanks! I could fully empathize with Ben in his relationship with Fon, and was also caught up in a similar situation like him, so in love with a Thai girl I've known not for all too long. Then it struck me that while being warm, friendly and ever so affectionate on the outside, their inner world is so hard to grasp to say the least. And no, I'm not much of a farang being just 2 hours away in the concrete jungle of Singapore. In the eyes of the westerner, I could just be a Thai as well. However in the eyes of the Thai, I'm just like any other tourist here on a wasteful holiday, lots of spare cash to spend and being crazy getting a tan. While left in a crazy spin and feeling dejected in the end (just like Ben was) I'm still very much in love with the country and its friendly inhabitants. I've also learnt it the hard way that cross-cultural relationships can be so absolutely difficult at times.

Cheers Andrew, for writing such a wonderful novel which i could really relate to.

I did catch up with Thai Girl and thought it was very well done. You explained in a clever way how so much about Thai society is both captivating and illusory. Unlike most of the other attempts at dealing with the cultural conflicts, it gives both sides and imparts some lasting understanding. It's a credit to you. I'll be recommending it to every ignorant bastard who thinks he knows it all when it comes to matters of the heart. And there are a lot of them!

Thank you for writing this book. It is easy to read because it is not boring. It is disturbing to read, at times, because of the heavy subject of Thailand’s sex industry. It spoke to me nonetheless, and that was the main reason I decided to read it.

Although Ben can be considerate, he seems rather immature, and it turns some readers like me off that he is turned on so much. Your discussion on the interactions between Thais and Westerners is probably accurate, and your ability to understand Thai culture so well impressed me. The relatively low status of Thai women and children is one thing that bugs me about Thai culture, and thus I don’t find Thai culture beautiful, although it has some good qualities.

Much has been said about Thailand’s sex industry, and a large fraction thereof is said by Westerners who seem to have only superficial understanding of Thai society. It is nice to see a book that talks about the subject from a less biased perspective. Sorry I am reluctant to say “unbiased”; I believe that as human beings, we all have bias, although each individual’s bias varies in magnitude.

Having known someone in my childhood who was deceived and forced into prostitution, punters’ ignorance of the scale of damage their patronage has on the lives of countless innocent boys and girls often frustrates me. Some individuals choose to be in the industry, while some are forced into it. I knew the girl before she entered the trade. The guy who said he loved her suggested that they elope, and instead he took her to a brothel. She was fifteen. She could not make an escape until a year later. She can’t bear to look people she used to know in the eye again. She was from Isaan.

On a separate note, when asked by Westerners why some Thai women are reluctant to be with Westerners (and occasionally called a racist), I always have difficulty explaining. Perhaps the matter is not something you can explain adequately in a sentence or two, but a book can reasonably accommodate it.

Thanks again. Sorry if you have difficulty making sense of my writing. Learning English is a continuous process. My nationality is Thai, but my view may not be representative of that of Thai people.

Thanks so much for writing to me as I'm particularly pleased and interested when I hear from a Thai. I'm glad you liked the book and that it said something to you.

Yes, on arriving in Bangkok, Ben is very immature and his unquestioning interest in the bar scene turns Emma off in a big way. But it's not long before he begins to think about things, and a part of the story is his journey through Thailand to a more mature undertanding of the hard realities of life here. Certainly your mention of the girl you knew from Isaan who was tricked into the sex industry is a disturbing case in point.

I am always anxious that a Thai person picking up my book will think, 'Oh no, not another opinionated Westerner lecturing us about things he doesn't fully understand.' Yes, we all have a bias or viewpoint, but I'm relieved if you think that the discussions of the characters, who are trying to understand what is going on around them, raise important issues and find an interesting balance of views.

I hope the book is broadly sympathetic to all of humanity, both Thais and Westerners, but if Westerners have something of a bad reputation among Thais, then it's probably been
well earned. As Ben says to Fon, it's all too easy for Westerners who've been working all hours during the year to fall for the 'tropical paradise' that's offered to them, to ask no questions and go wild.

So again, many thanks and do pass on the book to your friends. With my best wishes,

I have travelled to Thailand many times over many years. Your wonderful
book taught me a little more about Thailand and it's people, all
cleverly wrapped around a romance. An excellent read!

Dear Andrew,

Just returned from Bangkok where I purchased your book and did not put it down until I was finished. This book hits the nail on thehead about the ladies in Thailand. I have visited Thailand many times and lived there many years ago. My current tirak (girlfriend) and I
broke up because I would not support her acoholic father for 6000 baht per month.

It's like the movie 'Good Morning Vietnam" where Chintara Sukaphat, who is a Thai actress, tells Robin Williams 'we not same, am so different"--talk about life imitating art! Will there possibly be a movie?

Dennis S.

Dear Dennis,

I'm delighted that you liked the book, and yes, I think a movie could be amazing. But then I'm biased!

Is there anyone out there who knows how to find someone who'd take an interest in the idea of promoting a movie?

Andrew

Hi, Andrew,

I finished reading "Thai Girl" tonight and it was a good read. As an American, I was not offended by the Bush-bashing, one gets used to that, especially outside of our borders, but I do have to say I thought it was the weakest part of the book. I'm not a Bush supporter
and voted for the other side both times, but I still found it a collection of tired old cliches that took away from the story. I was glad when I got through that part and was reminded why backpackers are not my cup of tea any more.

But that said, the book is excellent, and I enjoyed it immensely. Achara will read it next, probably on Samet. I was curious about the timeline though. Ben was in Bangkok on election day when Thaksin was first elected prime minister, and that was in January 2001. But later on Koh Chang, the backpackers are talking about 9/11 as if it had happened months before;
surely Ben and Emma didn't spend a year or more over here. Since they return to Blighty during Songkran, I assume it was four months or so, and you just condensed world events a little.

It was also fun figuring out where places were. Naga Plaza was certainly not hard, but I figure the Georgia in Soi 7 was actually the Atlanta in Soi 2. I have a feeling Freddie's Massage was Annie's. Thermae's was hard to miss. The Regal was obviously the Royal.

But despite Ben's protestations to Fon about not taking a bargirl out, I found it somewhat suspicious when early in Chapter 21: "He decided to head off to Sukhumvit Road to have a few beers and see how the dice would fall." Then it's the next day; I wonder what Ben did that night! And did Penny not count as a lady when he told Fon he had not been with
anyone?

I've been in Thailand 14 of the last 18 years (next Tuesday will be the 18th anniversary of my first arrival in Thailand), and I've known many people with a similar relationship: relatively wealthy Western man meets poor, younger Isaan lady and gets married, though it's not
always so lop-sided. I'm a case in point. My wife, Achara, is from Bangkok. Her family actually is somewhat wealthier than I am. We're almost the same age: I'm 47, she's 45, and we've been married for 11 1/2 years and together for two years before that. She's better educated than I am, and we met in America, not in Thailand. We were both students at the University of Hawaii, both studying Public Health; for me it was my one and only master's degree, but it was her second master's, and she's an assistant professor at Chula now.

Well, thanks again for writing your great book. I'm sure Achara will enjoy it, too as I know her taste. It'll be a good read for a holiday on Koh Samet.

Don

Dear Don,

I was very pleased to receive your comments on the book and I'm delighted that you enjoyed reading it, perhaps even prompting your trip to Samet.

I take on board what you say about America-bashing. The story is primarily about backpackers and their perception of life generally, of Thailand, and of course the war on terror. Drawing on my notes of conversations I've had with many travellers, I tried to reflect the passion and emotion, sometimes exaggerated, that this topic evokes. I've never met an American travelling in Thailand who supported the invasion of Iraq and given that Ben and Darren argue for getting in our retaliation first, I tried to give the debate some balance. But yes, maybe it was simply too long and overdone.

Jim Eckardt who gave the book an otherwise favourable review in The Nation said exactly the same thing as you did about this bit of the book. You might have a look at "An Interview with the Author" on this website where I was accused, lightheartedly I think, of being anti-American, which I most certainly am not. If I was, I'd have put in some horrible American characters, but Chuck, the only American, is shy, sensitive and thoughtful and perhaps the nicest guy in the whole book!

Jim Eckhardt also picked up your point about the time discrepancy. I simply wanted to squeeze the Thaksin election and the Afghan invasion into Ben's short holiday! Of course you are quite right in what you say, though I put a craven disclaimer at the front of the book
admitting the distortion, which hardly lets me off the hook!

I'm glad you enjoyed playing 'spot the real hotel and bar', on which you score pretty highly. And I'm also impressed by your noticing the ambiguity of Ben's solitary nighttime visit to the sois and byeways of Sukhumvit. Of my friends who read the draft, none of them spotted
this, but I still didn't want to flag it up more prominently.

For many of the characters, there may be a gap between what they profess and the actuality and with Ben and Fon trying desperately to understand each other, this may be something that the reader finds intriguing. It's all open to the reader's interpretation, including the ending.

So I hope you enjoy Samet and pass on the word to people you meet that Sunthorn Phu is not the only writer to have featured this beautiful though threatened island!

Andrew

Thank you for writing such a thought provoking novel.Although I found the storyline a little thin, I enjoyed it! Your development of the character of Fon
was excellent. On the other hand, Bens character was articularly weak.

Now the criticism. Your continual reference to Bar girls as "whores" and "sluts" I found particularly offensive and typical of conservative western thinking. Your inference that prostitutes are the same the world over and the lowest form of humanity shows a lack of understanding of the thai sex industry in general.

A friend of mine who back-packed around thailand (having never visited Pattaya) refered to the city as "the place where big fat German men have sex with little boys".

This generalisation is typical of westerners with a tainted and preconceived view of
Thailand, Pattaya and the sex industry. I get the impression from reading your novel that you share the view.

For your benefit and the benefit of other forum contributors who have no experience of the city, here is the reality of life in Pattaya. Depending upon the time of year there can be as many as 20,000 girls working the bars in pattaya (to you that means 20,000 whores and sluts). The majority of them are there quite simply because they have children and families to support. The majority are charming, courteous, polite, hard-working and DECENT HUMAN BEINGS.

The majority of the girls work in beer bars as opposed to short time bars and gogo bars. The vast majority of "relationships" between girls (whores and sluts) and Farang (sex tourists and drug takers) in Pattaya are long term encounters which involve companionship, friendship and dare I say the word - SEX. The Farang pay the girls for their TIME, irrespective of the fact the sex takes place or not. The overwhelming majority of Farang in Pattaya do not take drugs, do not seek sex with minors, are not sexually frustrated predators of thai girls, and in many cases are respected and wealthy individuals who above all respect and understand the bar girls. The beauty of Pattaya is its openness and honesty - a community where girls are free to carry out there business without prejudice from farang and thai alike.

On my first visit to Thailand 5 years ago I met a 23yr old degree educated accountant named Rin (name changed to protect her identity). Originally from Udon, her family sent her to university in Bangkok. After completing her education, she remained in Bangkok to work. As a junior accountant Rin earned 8000 baht per month. Rin was a virgin when we met. After spending 5 days together I gave Rin 4000 baht partly because she had used 3 days of here precious annual leave to be with me and partly because 4000 baht meant far more to her than it did to me.

Rin gladly accepted the money and remained a virgin long after we parted. In your
opinion would Rin be a whore and a slut for accepting money from me after spending time in my company? Of course not!! Similarly, neither are the vast majority of Pattaya's bar girls who take money from Farang in return for friendship, companionship and less importantly, sex.

Perhaps when you write the sequel you will take Ben and Fon to Pattaya. I'm sure they will have a great time!

Thanks for letting me have your reactions to "Thai Girl". I always appreciate hearing from readers as it is fascinating for me to see the different ways in which people react to the book. What one thinks of a book is a very personal thing and for myself, I find that some highly recommended books satisfy me and some just don't.

I'm relieved that you liked Fon though; if she, the main character fails to come alive, the story's a non-starter. Strangely I think Ben is less important. He is everyman visiting Thailand for the first time with whom the reader confronts various aspects of life in Thailand and, I hope identifies to some extent.

Responding to the points you make, I am surprised that you take me to task so strongly for calling bar girls 'whores and sluts' because I don't! I can find virtually no authorial comment on the bar girls at all except physical description, sometimes complimentary, sometime not, on the rare occasions they appear. The comments that you object to must therefore be found in the dialogues between the characters. But on scanning the book, nowhere can I find anyone calling them whores or slut. In fact Ben and the others refer to them as bar girls or sex workers, generally without any critical overtones. The only exception is during the debate on the beach at Koh Samet when Samantha, a stroppy walk-on part says that the 'working girls' in Bangkok are just in it for the money and 'even look like they're enjoying it'. She has to say this because unless somebody says something negative, you can't even begin to have a discussion! Maca and Emma then put her straight in no uncertain terms, saying that many women, especially those from Cambodia, Laos and Myanmar are often forced into prostitution and that anyway it's no disgrace to be a prostitute; instead you should blame those who exploit them.

In the other major discussion on this topic, Jack Russell, the thinking man's sex tourist shows considerable respect for the sex workers. To him (at p. 152) they are 'healers and therapists' and 'members of a caring profession'. So I don't think my characters slag off the bar girls either. They see them in a sympathetic light, and if not doing this work by choice, as victims of their economic circumstances.

Ben and his companions debate the complex circumstances that lead to a booming sex industry in Thailand, though the book is not primarily about bar girls. Focussing on Fon, it exemplifies a young woman finding an independent life for herself without apparently selling sex. As a travel or backpacker novel it attempts to depict the attitude of young travelers on first arrival here, as they try to understand Thai society, including of course rural decline, urbanization and commercial sex.

Nonetheless, while not condemning the bar girls, the travellers do find the sight of a fat old farang hand in hand with a slim young Thai girl to be pretty disgusting. From my notes of many conversations over the years with those that I've met, that's exactly what they do generally think. So does that make me judgmental about the sex industry or am I merely reporting the typical attitude of western travellers?

Of the two sex tourists in the book, Stig Ruud in Chapter 6 is pretty ugly with 'a massive belly, a stubbly receding chin and piggy eyes'. Emma can hardly bear to sit next to him in the mini bus, but Stig turns out to be 'one of the more engaging characters they had met so far, proving that travelling confounds first impressions and broadens the mind'. Later on in the book, sex tourist, Jack Russell is middle-aged, short, dumpy and bald (page 151), but Ben finds him to be pleasant and thoughtful and not an evil exploiter of vulnerable young women. So they get a sympathetic write-up too.

I have also offended you by the couple of times my characters refer to Pattaya as the big sex resort, or whatever, and you ask me if I have ever been there. I first went with my wife in 1978 when Pattaya and Patpong were really wild, and I've been back many times since. Having lived in SE Asia for twenty years or so, I've been pretty much everywhere… how else could I describe the Full Moon Party for example without having experienced it. But as for Lamai, Patpong, Pattaya and Patong, I am definitely now an ex-Pat. Not being much of a drinker, I prefer the less developed resorts such as Koh Samet and Koh Chang, which is why I set the novel there.

"Thai Girl" is only a story and not a thesis, but I hope it gives food for thought without pushing any particular agenda. One reader who wrote to me (Message 10) suggested that it's strength is that it raises issues without shoving a particular point of view down the readers throat. But I'm not sure you'd agree with that opinion, which worries me.

My own view is that the longer I live in Thailand, the more I realize that broad and moralistic generalizations simply don't stand up to close scrutiny. What you see in the book is visitors from the West trying to make sense of things in Thailand from the post-Christian viewpoint that the sale of sexual services demeans both parties. Here of course there is much greater acceptance of commercial sex as a means of raising money for the family, something that first time visitors are unlikely to appreciate.

A popular novel thus cannot answer any major questions about society, but it can raise them, I hope in an interesting way. The front cover of the book reads, "Seductive, scheming and available? Or is the Thai Girl modest, sweet and innocent… is it she who is the victim?" Perhaps that is what the book is all about.

Message 32.
Hi Andrew

Congratulations on writing an excellent novel. I feel that you captured the real essence of Thailand and the traditional Isan women. I found myself not far from tears for both Fon and Ben at their parting and the dilemma they both faced in not being able to be together.

I have travelled Thailand frequently especially around the Udonthani region where my wife comes from. She,like Fon is from a little village and made her living from selling food in the city and cleaning for more affluent families. I think Jack was not far off in his summary of the
difference in cultures and expectations of both Thai woman and Western men. However, it can work if you both are prepared to work at it extremely hard and learn about each others'cultures and be prepared to compromise. I love my wife dearly and have also gained a beautiful Thai family who I also love. My visits to my wife's village fill my soul with happiness and have taught me that you do not need money to be truly happy. I long for the day when the Thai economy lends itself to be more rewarding to the rice farmers. Over the years I have seen Thailand become more Westernised and I can see the problems and damage this is doing to the Thai culture.

Thanks again for an excellent read and I hope you do a follow as you've left the novel with ample opportunity for volume two. Thanks also for showing the Isan Woman the true respect they deserve.
Andrew F.

Dear Andrew

I was really pleased to get your message with all your glowing comments about the book. Without this, being an author is really very unrewarding as, while the sales figures are encouraging, you personal view of the book makes it all worthwhile.

And I really liked what you had to say. Yes, I too believe that cross-cultural marriages are a great enterprise and can be very successful, offering each party a very special extra something, just as you describe.

I'm glad you felt moved by the book and that you appreciated the dignity of Fon as the representative of Thai women from Isan. All too often, Bangkok novels are about bar girls who have of course lost much of their dignity, which is hardly something for Thailand to celebrate.

Neverteless, Fon is still enigmatic to the farang suitor. I hope she is the decent, hard working woman she says she is. But of course I don't really know; I'm only the author!

Do pass on word of the book and keep in touch. Are you based in Thailand or in England?

Many thanks again.
Andrew.

Message 31.

I bought “Thai Girl” in Bangkok airport on 9 October 2005. I wasn’t looking for a book to read and I saw it, read the cover and put it back on the stand. I sat down for a while and I kept thinking… will it tell me what I want to know about Thai women. I bought it and it did more than that.

This was my second time in Thailand. I was there for three weeks in June and have just spent another nine days there. You may ask why.

I am forty nine, fit and happy with my life as a teacher, having raised my son since he was four years old. He has just finished his Masters degree.

I have been to Bali many times and love it and people told me to try Thailand. A colleague in Darwin has a Thai wife and they have been together for twenty years. I wanted to see the real people of Thailand, so in July I traveled to her village in Khon Khaen which they were visiting for the first time in sixteen years. I had two nights in Bangkok first and didn’t much like it and couldn’t wait to get to the village. I stayed a week with them in the village and I was in heaven. We were the farangs of the village and I loved it even more because I was single. Believe me, it was like being a king.

Anyway after a week being the centre of attraction, it was time to explore some more of Thailand. They took me to Khon Kaen bus station to catch a bus to Chiang Mai. They headed off and I had about two hours to kill so just sat at the terminal and waited. After about thirty minutes I started to talk to this very beautiful Thai lady who is twenty two and was going off to Pattaya. When it was time for the girl to get her bus, she gave me her mobile number and said to ring her when I get to Chiang Mai. I arrived in Chiang Mai the next morning after thinking of this goddess all night on the bus. Finally I rang her in the afternoon and she said, ‘There’s no work here, can I come to see you?’ You can guess my answer.

The next day she rang my motel to let me know where she was. She finally made it and was still absolutely beautiful. First she had a shower and we went to eat and it all went on from there. I told her I wanted to see her village and she told me she was very poor and wasn’t too sure about this. But I convinced her and also found out she has a little three year old daughter.

We went back to Khon Khaen, hired a car and went to her village. She was right… their house wasn’t much. The other village was a bit better off, but I was welcomed into the village and she talked about her life and how she wanted to build a house for her family. I looked at this and the next day I said I’ll build that house for you and your family, even if we don’t stay together… she and the village touched me so much. Things moved really fast over the next week and the village was all excited.

When it was time to head back to Bangkok, she wanted me to go to Pattaya to meet a couple of her friends. I had never been there and wasn’t interested as I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. But we finally got there and she was in her element. We went to one of the bars and I told her I didn’t want to go in, but she said she wanted me to meet a friend who worked there, so we did. Anyway the friend wasn’t there so she called her on her mobile and we had to pick her up at a club and go out for dinner. I had to pay the club to take her out which I wasn’t happy about but we had a good time and the dinner was great.

But then my girlfriend went to another bar and as I wasn’t happy about it, she promised not to stay long. She knew some of the girls and they were great. She said she herself had worked in the bars a long time ago, but didn’t like it. We looked round Pattaya and I told her I didn’t like it at all and I’d rather be in the villages. We went back to Bangkok the next day.

I have sort of fallen in love with her and she with me I think. Back in Darwin I sent her an msm three times a day for the next ten weeks and sent more money over for the house. The building started and I got photos of it from her and was happy the house was going well. I told her I’d be back in December, but I couldn’t wait and after ten weeks have just been back to Thailand for another nine days.

It was great to see her again and we spent a couple of days in Bangkok before we went to the village. It was good to be back there and the top of the house was built and the workers were doing the bottom half. It really stood out and I was very proud to be doing something for the village as the money goes directly to all of them.

I had to take some things to my colleague’s wife’s village and so off we went. We arrived there late in the afternoon and the family was happy to see us. Anyway, things suddenly changed and me and my girlfriend were fighting. We went back to her village for a few days, but back in Bangkok she didn’t stay with me and went to see her sister. The next night we argued and she left the next day. I spent one more night in Bangkok, very lonely and hating it. I rang a friend who was down the south of Thailand and told him what had happened. He said he was sorry but told me not to give up on all Thai women. Then I flew out and read your book all the way back to Darwin.

So why am I writing this? Because all this has just happened to me and the book helped me to make sense of it.

I’m not bitter about the house, even though it was 20,000 Australian. I was so glad to do it. And I may go back to Thailand at Christmas and see if the house is finished, then continue my journey through other parts of Thailand with a better knowledge of the country.

I have to say that if I’d read the book first, I don’t think it would have made much difference! But reading it after the event has been a real education! Thanks, Andrew for a great book.

So what can I say! Well, first of all, thanks for contacting me and for your warm comments about the book. When I read a travel novel, I want it to tell me something about the place and to make me think, so if my book has done this for you, I’m delighted.

I was married to my English wife for nearly thirty years and when we lived in Hong Kong and Singapore we traveled a lot in Thailand. While I now have a Thai wife and am writing this from our home in Surin, I claim no special experience or insight into your troubles. But I share your love of the rhythm of life in the rice villages, though as a farang living there, the sense of being special soon fades and reality intervenes, which is probably a good thing. And I too love the rural Thais; they have something that people from our urban societies have lost, though one should not over-romanticize the harsh life they lead, trying to scrape a living from the soil.

I don’t have to tell you that relationships are difficult where there are huge gaps in age, culture and wealth and when you have little opportunity to be together. Of course Thais do become involved in a relationship just as we do, and perhaps the most positive interpretation of your experience is that as you, the farang prepares to depart, she withdraws her attachment and distances herself from you to minimize the pain of parting.

How can one make these generalizations, but I sense that Thais are more practical in their relationships than we are. Is the friendship viable in the long term, and will it provide the continuing practical support to continue to sustain life? If not, they won’t waste any more emotional energy on it but move on and get on with life. Though if the guy turns up again, then maybe they’ll go for it again.

We in the West have this ancient courtly tradition of falling in love and pining for the lady from afar and it can be very damaging to be broken hearted for too long. While Asians can be as passionate and involved as anyone, they are more reluctant to suffer this pain and risk this damage, I suspect, and so more readily move on.

If you haven’t ended up bitter about this, then all the more credit you. You have made a contribution to many people less well off than yourself. And I hope you can look back and remember this as one of life’s most intense experiences… and perhaps return for more!

After all, if you choose a roller coaster, you cannot complain if it goes down as often as it goes up. But go up it certainly will!

Do pass on the book and tell your friends it can be bought online from www.dcothai.com. And I’d love to hear from them too when they’ve read it, even if they have yet to meet their first Thai lady!

Dear Andrew,

I really enjoyed the book as I'm sure my girlfriend would. Is it published in THAI?

Desmond Byrne

Dear Des,

I'm delighted you liked the book but sadly it's not available in Thai. I've had several comments like yours and a surprising number of Thais have contacted me to say they have read and enjoyed "Thai Girl". So I'd love to find a publisher who'd do a Thai version of the book. I think it would really sell, just as the original has.

Thanks and best wishes,
Andrew.

Message 29.

Dear Andrew,

I have just finished reading Thai Girl and at first I thought it was another bland tale of Bangkok Go Go bars. You have highlighted the disgust I feel towards sex tourists , but of course the girls involved in the trade are not all innocents who have been sold into it.Like all
prostitutes throughout the world there are many reasons why they get involved (money to pay for university , consumerism , drug addiction etc), but this is not to diminish the reality of women who are trafficked and sold into sexual slavery ( I am merely stating it is not
as clear cut as that). Check out the Poppy Project website to see the same problems in the UK with women trafficked into the "illegal" sex industry. But I feel you did over simplify the love that can blossom between different cultures. There is an expanding middle class in
Thailand where women want different things from their mothers and are no longer prepared to put up with an unfaithful Thai husband. Not all Thai women see money spent on them as proportional to the love felt for them, I know of such women who have married Westerners and they have been very happy. After all , we are all human beings who desire affection , warmth , companionship and of course love.

Though my observations of your engrossing book could be well wide of the mark of what you were actually telling

Alex Baxter

Dear Alex,

Thanks so much for your message and your kind comments. Feedback like this means a lot to me. And no, you are not wide of the mark I was aiming for when I wrote the book and I agree with all of what you say.

I guess your comments about the book over-simplifying the economic element of cross-cultural relationships derive from Jack Russell's tutorial in the middle of the book to eager student, Ben in the Sukhumvit bars. These are the views of a worldly man whose
relationships with Thai women are indeed primarily economic. He suggests to Ben that farang and Thai are fundamentally incompatible because while she judges his love for her by how much money he gives her, he only thinks she loves him if she doesn't ask for money. Like
all broad generalisations, yes, it's a dangerous one. But in any event, you mustn't equate the views of one of my characters with my own opinion. Jack Russell is most certainly not my mouthpiece. Ben learns a lot from him, but most of all Jack challenges him (and I hope the reader) to think about the predicament both of the sex workers and of the lonely middle-aged male for that matter. And I hope the book as such does not itself push any particular line.
After all, it is only fiction and not a thesis!

Well, thanks again and do pass on the word about the book. It's doing well and has just been described in one of the Bangkok monthly glossies as one of the best selling English language novels ever published in Thailand.

Andrew.

Message 28.

Hi Andrew,

I just read your book. It was a long time ago I almost couldn't put a book down!

In one book I saw many things I had to find out after quite some trips to this marvelous country!

It started 15 years ago, with a honeymoon, because I liked Thai food! I went down several times, together with my wife.

Anyway I hope you write another book.

Regards
Martin Mairesse
France

Message 27.

I've just read your book on a business trip to Phuket. Great reading and I
recognized a lot of it. Spot on.
Being Danish myself, I'm glad you did not introduce any Danish tourists
in the book!

Kind regards
Jens Bergsoe

Message 26.

Dear Andrew,

I find "Thai Girl" a very interesting story, I believe based on a true
story of someone else.

Ben – a backpacker traveled to Thailand with no plan, no hotel
reservation. His interest was in cheap bars and girls. That was not the
place to learn about the country, the culture, and the Thais.

Two people (Emma and Ben) traveled together but different interest. Ben
left Emma in hotel room so he could enjoy a bar girl. Poor Emma!!! She
had to set a new plan on her own and travel by herself finding new
friends. Who would expect a three-year relationship turn out across the
country? It should have been a good strong tie for future plan together
after graduation.

Fon was looking for a supporter. She didn’t want to sell sex for farang
… come and go. She needed more than that …. better life, better chance.
Love to her was not from the heart; it was how you help me. She would
love and be with you if you married her and took her away from there.
Surprisingly, she talked sex freely to her first-time customer. She
flirted, danced, went to bar and drink. She was not a traditional Thai
girl as she claimed or wanted to be. She lied to Ben about what people
said about her when they were out together so Ben felt sorry for her.
She wanted to marry Ben and go to England. Remember, she took Ben out to
bar after bar at night with no care of people eyes.

For visitor, Thailand is a beautiful country, travel smart learning
about the place where to go and what to see. Contact Tourist Authority
of Thailand for free information. Sex selling is happened to be in every country. It is you to decide… get into or not get into it.

Sri

Dear Sri,

Thanks so much for writing to me. I am very pleased when a Thai person
has read my book and tells me what they think.

I fully agree with you, that too many tourists come to Thailand and learn
nothing of the country and its culture because they spend all their time
in the bars and looking for women. But the truth is that the scale of the
sex industry in Thailand is huge and it has always been a major part of
the Thai tourist industry. Most tourists therefore at least go to have a
look at the Bangkok nightlife. As you say, prostitution happens
everywhere, but in Thailand it is much bigger and more open than almost
anywhere else. One of the messages of the book therefore, is to challenge
the reader to think about this and what it does for Thai people and the
international reputation of Thailand.

Sex tourism attracts some unpleasant farang but surely Ben is far from
being one of the worst. He and Emma arrived to enjoy the tropical dream
of Thailand and intended to spend their holiday together. And he was very
upset when Emma left him, even if this was perhaps his fault for being too
curious about the bars in Nana Plaza.

But when he was left alone, he did not go and sleep with bar girls but
fell in love with Fon. He was true in his romantic pursuit of her, even
though she refused to sleep with him.

And yes, a traditional Thai woman would not go dancing with Ben or be seen
with him in public. But we can see Fon's dilemma. She clearly likes Ben
and she dreams of escaping from her hard life and perhaps better providing
for her family through marriage with a farang. But she is not sure about
his intentions and tries not to get too involved. She is a decent woman
but you can see her being slowly drawn by the temptation of going with a
farang. Perhaps it will destroy her.

You sound quite hard on Fon, but I hope her predicament shows how a young
Thai woman can be vulnerable to the attraction and promise of a plausible
young farang and how damaging that can become. The story is about the
interaction between tourists and the Thai people, exemplified by Ben's
friendship with Fon. Mass tourism has a huge impact on a country,
especially where the tourists are much richer and can buy what they want
with their money. This is a huge issue for Thailand and I hope my book
makes readers think about it. There are many better ways of promoting
Thailand than through sex tourism.

But I hope you enjoyed the story. It must be a slightly unsettling read
for you... as people have said to me, while being sympathetic to the
characters, it is also implicitly critical both of foreign travellers and
of Thais.

I would love to have the book translated into Thai so that more people
could read it!

With best wishes,
Andrew.

Message 25.

Dear Andrew,

I am writing to you to say what an outstanding book "Thai Girl" is.

On a recent trip to Thailand to visit my Thai wife, I was looking for
something decent to read on the long flight back so I bought your book
and real it all on the flight back to London. Then I read it again when I
got home.

I find the story most lifelike and hope you have another book on the
same lines upcoming.

I will send my copy of "Thai Girl" to my wife in Thailand and then
maybe she'll understand more about falangs. After I've let all my
mates read it that is!

Yours faithfully,
Simon Williams.

Message 24.
I finished your book today and really enjoyed reading it. Congratulations! All these crazy things happening between men and women… and novelists so often get closer than psychologists. And it’s fine that you mentioned Nick Drake (at page 247),but I didn’t know he died of a broken heart. By the way, I found a copy of the book here in Koh Pha Ngan at a little shop on the beach. The book paints a nice picture of Thai society and the way it is being influenced by strangers, so it should be of interest for the people lying around on the beach. Good luck with it.

Stephan,
Munich, Germany.

Dear Stephan,

Thanks so much for your generous comments, and, coming from your professional background, the one about psychological insight was praise indeed.
No, I couldn’t resist mentioning Nick Drake. In fact he died of an overdose of anti-depressants aged twenty three because his three albums were not a commercial success. It’s so ironic that now years later, he’s a huge seller and known around the world. For me it’s especially sad because when I was six, he was my close buddy. You can find my ‘memoir of a childhood friend’ on www.brytermusic.com.

Andrew

Message 23.
I read ‘Thai Girl’ straight through on the plane back to London and this bloke sitting next to me keeps saying, what are you reading? And I just want him to shut up because I want to know what happens to Ben and Fon. It’s a great story and so I brought it back with me to Thailand and read it again. I love it and I’ve learned a lot from it about Thailand.

Kevin Fletcher,
Leicestershire, UK.

Message 22..
I have just re-read ‘Thai Girl’ and it was even better the second time. There is so much in it. I live in Isaan with my girlfriend so it says a lot to me. There is so much that is familiar and true. I got very involved in it and as Ben was finally saying goodbye to Fon on Koh Samet, I was blinking back tears. Yes, it’s an amazing book and I’m looking forward to the sequel.

Peter Tucker,
Surin.

Message 21.

Andrew Hicks

One of the basic formulae for a good story is the journey – how the hero goes to a far country, makes his way through many obstacles, and returns with the Golden Fleece. Andrew Hicks has chosen this formula for the journey of young Englishman Ben on his first foray into the world, to Thailand. A series of deftly-sketched foils enables the author to bring out Ben’s character, to provide information about the setting, and to keep the plot moving. Most of these foils are like Ben, foreign tourists, drawn to Thailand by the scenery and the sex industry. A few are women, including Ben’s likeable girlfriend, Emma.

Much more important is the far country – Thailand. Hicks has a good eye for the beautiful beaches, the traffic of Bangkok, the bars and the seedy hotels. But he is able to draw the reader beyond the picture postcards to the poor northeast of Thailand, where Ben travels to see the home of the Thai woman who, for a brief part of his life, draws him beyond the simplicity of lust. We feel the heat and see the fields and the rice and the village buildings. And we meet the people.

The people we meet are centred around Fon, the masseuse who attracts Ben’s attention. They are her family and her friends. It is Fon who brings Ben out of the Bangkok and beach circuit to the reality of her north-eastern home. It is Fon who shares with Ben her experience of the life which she must lead.

Surprisingly, the Thailand which Hicks shows us is peopled by women. There are almost no men, except in the background as taxi-drivers or restaurateurs or absent husbands. Although Thai men are loosely blamed for the society in which the sex industry flourishes, they are absent. And it is the mothers who sell their daughters to Bangkok.

The obstacles which Ben encounters are not dragons or wizards, but his own immaturity, his own lust, and his inability to comprehend another society. Hicks has been a law teacher, and no doubt set moot problems for his students. Such a problem has to be finely balanced in the information which is given, to enable the students to argue both sides. Hicks doles out the information in attractive little doses, and leaves us pondering the balance: is Fon really a victim, or a predator, or both at once? Is Ben really capable of breaking through the limitations of his middle-class English hedonism? And what is Thai society, in reality? At the end of the book, the questions remain open for the reader.

There is no Golden Fleece for Ben or for Fon, and maybe not for many of us on the journey through life. But there are good books, and I enjoyed reading this one.

David Ridyard

Dear David,

Many thanks for your message which I found intriguing.

Yes, I think the book can be read at different levels, as an easy poolside read and also as carrying some important messages about the impact of travellers on Thai people of all sorts, and especially the young women.

Some visitors to Thailand skim over the surface because that's what they want from a holiday, and the same could be said of readers of the book.

Different people see different things in it, but I do hope it can be thought-provoking about Thailand. I think that's what a travel novel should be.

Good luck with your writing and publishing. Incidentaly I have just signed a contract with Monsoon Books in Singapore and it's possible if they are successful in promoting "Thai Girl" that it will later appear on the shelves in Australia.

Thanks again and best wishes,
Andrew.

Message 19.

Hi

I bought this book at Phuket Airport on my way back home and finished
reading it in about 30 hours, even though I spent some 24 hours of that
in planes and airports where I normally lack concentration to focus on
reading.

Definitely a nice book, I could easily relate to Ben having experienced
something similar during my previous trips to Thailand.

Thanks
Tero Pikala

Message 18.

Dear Andrew

You can't judge a book by its cover and nothing truer could be said of
"Thai Girl". Several of my friends gave me funny looks while I was
reading this book as they made certain assumptions about its content.
If only they knew what it was really about.

I have made many visits to Thailand over the past nine years. During
that time I have learnt a lot about the country. I have been fortunate
through my relationships with certain Thai people to see and learn
many things about the country. There are so many wonderful things
about Thailand and the kindness and generosity of the Thai people is
extraordinary. However, I like to think of the fact that there is the
land of smiles and the land of not-smiles. Unfortunately most foreign
visitors only see the land of smiles and remain happily ignorant of
the land of not-smiles.

I really like the sensitive way you have captured the two worlds in
your book. I think your writing about the experience of a foreign
traveller and a young Thai woman are realistic and accurate. Thank you
for writing this book. I will definitely recommend it to anyone who
wants to know more about Thailand.

best regards
David Reid

Dear David,

I was really pleased to receive your message and your comments about
"Thai Girl". Perhaps the cover induces some of the more thoughtless
tourists into reading the book and perhaps having some of the tough
reality of being a poor migrant worker pointed out to them. So many
visitors treat Thailand as an adventure playground and the women as a
free for all and I hope the book makes them stop and think. I like your
way of putting the converse to the land of smiles. It is so easy to be
seduced by it on holiday and to skate over the surface.

Thanks for you kind comments. I appreciate them enormously. I am so glad
you enjoyed the book. And do pass on the word to your friends and
perhaps get them to write to me as well.

I am in Isaan at present where I am living and it's getting hotter!
Where are you? Still in Thailand or back to Northern climates?

With thanks and best wishes,

Andrew.

Andrew,

Thank you for a great story -- the very same story I am living now. I
met a beautiful young girl named Koh at Jomtien Beach six years ago.
She was doing beach massages with her aunts, and was 22 years old
working to finish university. I was 34 then, and we spent much time
together, always with a family member present. She was both
affectionate and pushed me away, which drove me absolutely crazy. We
held hands when no one was looking, but could never, ever kiss, even
when we snuck away. Fast forward to 2005 -- I ended up marrying
another Thai girl, and Koh married a guy from England, the first man she
was ever intimate with. Only both of our marriages did not work out
the way we had planned, and now we are both separated and seeing each
other again! And again the complexities begin -- still the need to
have a family member present, and still she is "hot" and "cold" towards
me at unexpected times. The Thai culture is hard to penetrate, and
your book allowed me to see that I am not alone in facing this
challenge. I bought your book on Koh Samet while I was there with Koh,
who is from Rayong. I will see her again in two weeks, and she now
wants to read your book because I told her you wrote our story. Your
words are very valuable to the many who will be able to see their own
lives in the pages of Thai Girl. Thank you so much.

James J. Miller

I have read your book "Thai Girl" and enjoyed it very much. I went to
Thailand in early December and spent two weeks there and enjoyed the
country and the people very much. This was my first visit to Thailand
but will not be my last. Reading your book I found myself looking at me
and the Thai woman I met there. She spent time with me and travel with
me, but also kept a distance between us just like Fon did with Ben,
which is I think a natural thing so they will not be hurt in the end.
The woman I met knocked me off my feet the first time I saw her. She is
beautiful and one of the only Thai's I met that enjoyed laying out in
the sun to have darker skin. One of your readers made mention that some
Thais like darker/tan skin.

People all around the world have this image of Thailand as nothing but
drugs and sex 24/7 and nothing could be further from the truth. I told
a few friends that Thailand was more than that and you could find the
sex and drugs in every city around the world. Thailand is abeautiful
country and the people are warm and friendly. The Thai woman I met, I
told her up front I wanted her to spend time with me and that she did
not have to perform. I was more interested in having her company and
learning about her and the Thai people. She was a little shocked, but
thanked me for respecting her as a woman and not as a sex object. That
is where I was like Ben in a way. He wanted Fon, but was not going to
push it with her. He, as I wanted it to happen naturally.

I can see families sending their daughters off to Bangkok to work in
what ever trade they could do. The sad part is most do end up as bar
girls selling themselves to any frang that comes along. I saw the bars
lined up in the streets and sat and watched the girls try to get frangs
to come in and have a drink. I felt sorry for them, but knew this was a
way of life in Thailand and sometimes just as in your book most of the
money went to support their families.

Again I enjoyed your book and actually learned a few thing from it. I
remain in contact with my Thai Lady friend and will go back to visit and
learn more about Thailand.

Well I finally finished your book after numerous delays. So when
are you publishing the next one?

Here are my comments: I thought you developed Ben and Fon's
characters quite well and it gives a realistic insight into many
social issues in Thailand. I also felt that the ending was quite
realistic. Ben's character reminded me in many ways of myself as a
young guy in the Navy. Ben's typical "love 'em and leave 'em"
behavior is why you see so many Thai gals married to older farangs.
You also explained why Thais do certain things and how they think,
which I thought was very enlightening.

The beginning of the book seemed a little slow to me but, just as I
was getting impatient (a fault of mine), it started to pick up and
moved at a good pace through the rest of the book. If you haven't
heard that before, it is probably just my perception.

I thought your representation of the Thai people was very accurate
as far as it went, however, it had a little of the "looking through
rose colored glasses" effect. Poor Thai people seem to be happier
than their counterparts in other Asian nations. They are indeed fun
loving and sponaneous. They certainly can be generous and helpful.
However, many are corrupt, selfish and amazingly greedy. Sometimes
farangs don't treat the Thais very well, however, the worst
treatment that I've seen Thais receive has been from other Thais.
And we don't need to discuss the courtesy of Thai drivers!! So I
don't think your book was critical of Thai culture - far from it.

As far as the diatribe against Americans and their foreign policy,
I'll just put that down to another Brit who is still mad about the
Revlolutionary War!! Seriously, we certainly have our faults and I
don't think we should have invaded Iraq for many reasons. But to be
fair and balanced, I believe that Sadam, the Taliban and other
Islamic extremists have killed far more people than were killed by
the war in Iraq. Most Post-War deaths, if we can call them that,
were really not the fault of America except to the extent that they
under estimated the insurgency. If the insurgents simply want the
Americans to leave, they could help establish law and order.
History has shown that the Americans, unlike many European nations,
never made a serious effort to colonize other nations and would
probably be happy to leave quickly as we did in the first Gulf War.

One other comment: The book did not read as you would expect based
upon the cover. I assume that was an intention to appear a bit more
"racy" to attract buyers who might pass up a more staid cover.
Accurate guess?

My comments are intended to be constructive and I really did enjoy
the book. I will certainly buy a copy of your next book. I haven't
seen you in any B2S book stores yet so I assume you still haven't
cracked that market. Or on a more optimistic note, maybe they have
just sold out!

Best regards,
Don Watson

I'm writing this note to you for two seperate reasons: firstly, I have a
feeling that I am about to become involved with a Thai woman and would
be interested to hear your(or your readers') perspectives on this;
secondly, because I would like to raise the question of how best to
support the prevention forced migration/prostitution. Please feel free
to publish some, or all, of this letter on your forum.

However, first of all, I would like to congratulate you on an excellent
book. From your short biography, it would appear that you beat me to
Thailand by about ten years. I've never lived there for more than 3
months, but have visited so many times that I've lost count: initially
as a backpacker, then as a more "up-class" tourist, and in recent years
a couple of times on business. I think your accurate and detailed
observations of the way that visitors react in the Thai environment,
and the way that the Thais react to "us", are absolutely first rate.
Whenever I looked up from the pages, I regularly had to think for a few
seconds to remember that I was not in Thailand! I could not put your
book down because it so well portrayed, and then offered explanations
for, or perspectives on, the many customs and behaviours I have
witnessed, but not always understood, whilst in Thailand. Furthermore,
it provokes challenging questions about migration and the sex industry
- questions around which there is a lot of shotgun moralising, but for
which there are no easy answers - as I think you have indicated through
your book.

Let me start with the simpler of my two reasons for writing. For several
years I have been thinking that I would like to do something to help
"save" potential, forced sex workers from their fate. As a matter of
fact, and by pure coincidence, I once ended up illegally smuggling a
Latino woman accross a European border in order for her to escape the
brothel. She had been told by "friends" that she was going to work in a
restuarant and would earn good money. Once there, not speaking the
language and with no money of her own (not even enough to pay for a
train ticket to escape - even if she had been able to get accross the
border) she was in hell. She managed to call a friend, who called me,
and I agreed to meet her and transport her back to where she had come
from (and was also living as an illegal immigrant). I will never forget
how she spent the whole night sobbing to herself because of the one
night of work she had performed. And it also made me realise that I
wanted to help like this again if I could.

So, my question is: do you, or your readers, know of any charities or
organisations which aim to prevent forced migration/prostitution? I
would like to stress here that I am only talking about forced migration
and/or prostitution. Personally, I do not believe prostitution per se
is wrong. Especially after reading your novel, it would seem to me that
a relatively modest amount of money would be enough to support a poor
rural family to such an extent that it would not be necessary for the
children to be forced into the sex business.

Concerning my second reason for writing: on a recent business trip to
Thailand, I met, and had dinner with, a 19 year old Thai engineering
student. Even before reading your novel I was well aware of the
conservativism surrounding relationships with Thai women: it was a nice
dinner, a pleasant coversation, and that was all. And that is also all I
was expecting. However, before I was even on the plane back, the SMS
and email exchange had started. And then continued. And now, even
though we only ever met for one single dinner, we have organised a trip
to Koh Samui together, staying in a bungalow on the beach. And that is
not what I expected at all. In contrast to my picture, and experience,
of the Thai culture, which is consistent with your novel, our upcoming
trip to Samuii seems to me to be an extremely forward and liberal
approach for an educated Thai woman. I can also not understand why she
is so readily prepared to endure the innevitable assumptions (also
described in your book) of all the Thai and foreign people who will see
us together. Naturally I plan to talk about this with her when we meet.
However, I would be interested to get your, or your readers', comments
about this. Again consistent with your book, my understanding of the
Thai culture, was that women are either bar girls or totally respectable
and conservative with very little, or nothing, in between. Is this now
changing? Is there now a new generation of middle-class, young Thai
women emerging, who are more liberated, adventurous, independent, and
less constrained by the assumptions of those who observe a them
together with a farang?

I am 38 years old, divorced with no children, live and work in Europe,
and although I am not a "corporate star", I do have a good, comfortable
career with a large multinational company. I am a very versatile Thai
cook, but cannot speak the language, other than a quite large
vocabulary of classical Thai dishes - aroy aroy.

I probably the first Thai who write to you as I have not seen any
letters from Thais, or they might ask you to keep their letters
privately as well as me. I do not often read English novel because I
found it difficult. However, your book is very interesting so I needed
to try. Similar to many Thais, my English is poor but I think you' d
like to hear from the Thais too. But, sorry if I missed some things or
got some things wrong.

I would say I enjoyed reading the Thai Girl so much, and thanks for easy
(a bit) writing. I was glad that I got your sense of humour. The Thai
English and pronunciation are very true. Your observation about Thai
people at bars, restaurants, in rural areas, and people like Odin are
also right. I can see that you worked hard really.

The story and the people are very realistic, and it was your intentions
to make this kind of story I guess. Characters like Ben and Emma are
real, but I' m not sure about Fon's. It sounds like Fon is
conventional, but was also seductive. These are very contrast, and made
me confuse. Is this to explain Fon' s conflict inside? Anyway, this
makes the book more fun and
interesting.

I guess you intended to make the book both informative and emotional. At
the beginning, the book seems to be more successful in giving
information. It is more emotional and enjoyable when the relationship
between Ben and Fon started, and I like that. I prefer a happy ending
story but not for your book because your have tried to make it real.
For foreigners, information may be as much important because they need
information as travellers, but for the Thais (me) it was some time a
bit too long.

There were some informations about Thai women that are not quite right.
May I explain some things about Thai women in families. Thai culture
like most Asian countries, women are inferior to men but not as much as
Chinese or Indian culture. Thai women do not always live with husband'
families. This is really depend on many factors to make a decision.
There is no strict rule about this. Traditionally. more often, men
move into women's families, and the youngest daugthers often get their
parents house and look after their parents. So many times, people
prefer to have daughters. Today, of course there are lots of problems
between in-law so more people prefer to have their own houses. But this
is rather different in chinese Thai families.

You are right about the Thais' preference of white skin, but not because
they want to be white as central Thai people. Real central Thai people
are actually quite tan, only people in the north and chinese Thais that
are quite white. We actually like people with tan skin too, as long as
they are beautiful! We have words tell the beauty of tan skin that say
"even a monk wants to give up his status (to marry a tan woman)". The
more popularity of white skin seems to be the effect of marketing.

Thank you for the good story and intelligent plots. It is interesting to
know how foreigners think about Thai women and Thai cultures. I just
realised that there are many books about Thai women from your website
and when I was trying to get the Thai girl from book shops. I 'll try
to read them too.

I hope many more Thais read your book, and perhaps someone want to
translate it into Thai.

I was so pleased to receive your message. Yes, you are the first Thai to write in though several Thais have spoken to me and told me they enjoyed the book. I hope many more will write to me as you have.

I am delighted that you too enjoyed the book, that you found it funny and true to life. Yes, I have spent a lot of time in Thailand, mainly family holidays when my children were younger. That is when I came to love Thailand and its people and culture, and it is now like a second home for me.

Yes, Fon seems traditional but is rather seductive at the same time. Perhaps she is confused about what to do, and Ben is very unsure how to read her signals. Is she telling him the whole truth and what does she really want from him? But is this so unusual? I'm sure you can think of friends who are a bit like that, who are fun and playful with men, flirtatious even but who mean very little by it and really intend to keep themselves for a long term partner.

I found your comments about white skin and marriage customs particularly interesting and must make a few chamges to the book for a future edition. Yes, the Thai people are among the best looking in the world and it is sad if people want to be white or have cosmetic surgery for their nose or eyelids, just so they can imitate another race. That is the power of the media and marketing!

As to marriage, it is I believe the Chinese custom for the girl to move to the husband's family home and for that her family is compensated with a bride payment. As you say, for Thais it is more varied, though a sinsot payment is usually made. I think though as somebody says in the book, a farmer's daughter probably fears the situation where she has to move in with her new husband's family and her mother-in-law turns out to be a nightmare. By being independent and going away to Bangkok or Pattaya she can avoid all that.

Well,thank you again, Pimpimon. It is very important to me to have a Thai readership and I hope you will pass on the book to your friends. And even I hope persuade some of them to write to me!

I have not read other people's letters so sorry if my comments are similar to other readers.

Your understanding of the Thai society seems to be OK, but I don't agree with you regarding Fon's interaction with Ben.

You also deliberately confuse us by not elucidating crucial details such as "is Joy Fon's daughter?", or "who is the mysterious boyfriend?".

Fon is 24 years old, an age when most rural women are long married and have already born children. She is not averse to men, she flirts with Ben, yet she doesn't consummate the relationship. By doing (or rather not doing) this she appears more as a "teaser" than a chaste woman. Other reasons for not "going all the way" do not correspond to her age: being younger, and therefore being (or trying to appear as) a virgin, or being older and having been burned by a former lover/husband.

I also believe that country folks have less hangups in privacy than you're trying to portray "Fon".

A good example (in this case between two Thai country people) is the courtship between the hero and the heroine in the Thai movie "Monrak Transistor". She resists his flirt, but when he buys her a transistor radio, and is about to be conscripted, she relents.

Fon's other alternatives are a Thai husband - she has told us that she doesn't trust them -, or to remain a spinster - which would be worse in Thai rural society than the "qu'en dira-t-on" of her relationship with a farang.

If she is devoted to her niece (or daughter) Joy, and her mother, common sense would dictate that she considers marrying Ben, combining love and a financial security for her relatives.

Her overly concern about what other people think about her being seen
with a farang are exaggerated. Being with a farang means having overcome the financial burden of the family. Even for country folks money is a source of pride, and in most
cases nobody cares how the person acquired his (her) wealth, which is not a concern for Fon, since everybody in her village know she is not a bargirl.

Thai country people have suffered too much hardship and humiliation, and being seen with a farang is sometimes a source of pride, especially with a decent character like Ben, who is also the same age as Fon.

On the other side the discussion on Bush between the backpackers seems very real, and reaffirms my belief about what the majority of the world thinks about America.

I still believe that the best description of a Thai girl is that of "Vilai", the "Number One Girl" in the book "A Woman of Bangkok", (originally titled "A Sort of Beauty"), written in the fifties by Jack Reynolds.

Incidentally, following the publication of the book, and despite writing under a pseudonym, the late Jack Reynolds (whose real name was Jack Jones), was disinherited by his Scottish missionary family.

Dear Marc,
Thanks for writing in about "Thai Girl". I'm glad you enjoyed the book and that it got you thinking.

Do I deliberately confuse you or is it Fon who is the deceiver and is taking Ben for a ride? Is she, as Jack Russell warns Ben, one of those women who tells the farang what she wants him to hear? You go on to suggest that Fon's behaviour is not typical of the rural Thai women you have met and that her behaviour is different. Perhaps these are the things that make Fon interesting, an enigma to the reader as much as to Ben.

Fon keeps reminding Ben that there is a price for a Thai woman being seen with a farang; the inevitable implication is that she is being paid for sex. In response to this, Thai women do not of course all behave uniformly. A rice farmer's daughter with little to lose who sees going with farang as a good career has to accept that price, while, as Dutch tells Ben, many families will not allow their daughters to go near a farang. Fon seems to fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. She claims to adhere to traditional principles, and she stands to lose a well-paid profession and to lose her reputation if she goes with Ben. As Clarissa says, for Fon to keep her reputation within a tight community of masseuses is both important and difficult. So it seems that Fon can stand on her own two feet and does not need to risk becoming dependent on men .

Fon is highly suspicious of men in general and hints to Ben that she has been taken in before by them but that she will not let herself be sweet-talked again. Or is there really a boyfriend in the background, possibly the father of Joy, and she is hoping to get back together with him. (Or is Fon really a ladyboy and herself the father of Joy? You have to keep asking the questions?!)

So unlike the women you talk about, Fon sees going with Ben as high risk and for whatever reasons she is determined not to be swept away by him. Knowing that her family will trust her to behave properly, she is able to take him home to Buriram, but is she now weakening, is she finally falling for him? This I hope is what keeps the reader intrigued and keeps you reading to the end. It's not a Hollywood ending but then life isn't like that either.

You are the second person recently to recommend the Jack Reynolds book to me. I must try to get hold of it. Are you based in Thailand or back home in France?

Thanks again and best wishes,
Andrew.

Never again did I feel so sad that a book has actually come to an end. In
reading through to the last pages, I couldn't help but wish there were hundreds
more left. I truly, thoroughly enjoyed it. However, in finishing this excellent
novel, I realised how much I learnt during the time it took me to read it. In my
view, Andrew Hicks has been very succesful in teaching the reader a lot about
the Thai culture and migrant workers, and the extraordinary thing is that he has
done that in a very subtle way: when one reads the book, it can be taken as a
pleasant story. But in a discreet and subtle way, I found that I was actually
learning a lot. In fact, a lot can be said about this, which in my view is a
unique skill that is not easily achieved.

In addition, I believe that the author has achieved this by providing a
balanced point of view. Perhaps I thought that due to my own views in the
different matters, but I thought that the author was not taking a 'patronising'
approach to the issues that arose during the book. Instead, he allowed the
reader to form his/her opinion (for example, on matters such as commercial sex,
the migrant workers, the economy, the discussion on 9/11, etc).

The book was also very funny. The number of times I laughed out loud were
numerous! Hicks's sense of humour is witty and a bit cynical. In particular, I
very much enjoyed the way the author potrayed the different accents. Not only I
found that very entertaining, I was highly impressed because in my view, he was
spot on! I found myself reading these dialogues out loud, and based on my own
experiences of meeting people from different countries, I have to say that he
couldn't have expressed their accents on paper better!

As for the story itself, contrary to what some other readers have stated, I did
not find that there was any mystery in the behaviour of the diifferent
characters. Somehow I found myself understanding and sympathising with all of
them, at least as far as the main characters go. Ben, Fon, Emma: it is easy to
appreciate where there were all coming from. Emma's anger and disappointment
towards Ben, Ben's confusion towards both women in his life, Fon's feelings
towards the farrang and her decision to take a cautious approach. I thought that
the characters made a lot of sense and their reactions were justified. In fact,
this is what makes the book real: the author did not choose over-dramatic
personalities. His characters were the antithesis of a typical 'hollywood' type
of character. These were normal people with normal feelings and reactions. Like
us, like our friends next door. That way you can relate and appreciate the
characters much better than if there were extraordinary or very different to the
rest of us.

In short, this is an educating, funny, entertaining and touching novel. I can
hardly wait for the authors' next contribution to literature. I hope it won't be
long.

Demetra Arsalidou
Cyprus

Thank you for this entertaining, interesting book!
As a reader, I especially appreciated the gentle and balanced way various social, economic, political, sexual and gender related topics were woven into the story through conversations Ben had with farang travelers and Thais he met. I don't know whether you meant to take the
'middle path' here by presenting different ideas without imposing an opinion on the reader, but it certainly came as a pleasant surprise and huge relief to me. My current experience with a lot of things I read these days - fiction and non-fiction, is the feeling of being manipulated or pressured into identifying and agreeing with the author's 'message'.

There were some useful thoughts about cultural differences that are commonly experienced here - the thai/falang miscommunication about the meaning of money, the falang frustration with thai communal life and commitment to family (rather that pursuing individual dreams and
aspirations), the western belief in romance and excitement versus the eastern belief in practical partnerships.

I want to briefly mention the relationship between Fon and Joy. I have no doubt there are differences in the way illegitimate children are seen in different classes of Thai society, but in my experience over the last year and a half, unmarried Thai women with children are quite
straightforward about this, so I didn't feel Fon was being evasive or dishonest about this. Within the cultural context, Fon taking care of Joy seemed perfectly logical.

I really liked your novel, great story! I read it while I was travelling in Thailand
myself. Awaiting my plane departure, and being bored of course, I strolled between
the bookshops and noticed your book. Of course the cover immediately aroused my
interest. Going to the north east at that time I thought "right time, right place"
to read it.

The characters are well chosen. Each one of them is easy to understand, being who
they are and what they are standing for, Fon being a more difficult to get into. But
then again, maybe Thai people are more difficult to understand, having another
culture, beliefs and... language. I did personally not have many personal contacts
with Thai people but I felt most of them are very charming (even if they going
through difficult or bad times). They keep their spirit up. Land of the smile they
say. Guess we could learn a lot from them. Most Western people have forgotten to
enjoy small things in life and how to put things in perspective.

Anyway I am still thinking about the story and I was a bit sad by the way it ended.
Not for Ben... but for Fon. She always has kept her distance, trying not to become
too emotionally involved with this farang, and right she was because she knew he
would probably leave anyway and the chances of him coming back quite small once he
would pick up his life and career in the West again. Better the short pain than
ending up with a broken heart afterwards. She was very honest, innocent and above
all very responsible. Ben had all that as well, except having no responsibilities at
all... and a lack of maturity. She kept her distance to protect herself (and her
family because I believe Joy was her daughter). But that doesn't mean she has no
dreams about finding the man of her life and becoming happy with him. I guess if Ben
would have returned in the book (let's say after a few months) she would maybe go
for it. Then she would be more sure about his real feelings (and not thinking it was
only some kind of holiday romance).

I have a deep sympathy for Fon. For me Fon is not only a character in the book, she
is real person. I am pretty sure she must exist. Moreover, there are probably lots
of Fons in Thailand... all dreaming of a better future and fighting for it.... but
staying who they are... adorable persons.

Best regards,
Gino

Dear Gino,
I really appreciate you writing. As an author it's so rewarding hearing from
readers and if you don't write in, it's like I've dropped the book down a deep well
and there's no splash.

And I liked what you had to say; even began to feel quite emotional about Fon as I
read. It's interesting how different people focus on different aspects of the book.
A lot of people are most interested in the Ben/Emma conflict, but you were most
taken with Fon and were moved by her troubles. If the book is about the interaction
between young farang and Thais, then I think you've hit the nail on the head. Your
response is thoughtful and perceptive and is exactly what I had hoped for.

Thanks again and do pass on word about the book. Is it cold out there? Good to
think about Thailand!

Andrew

Message 8.

The core of the plot, the friendship and romance that grows between Ben and Fon is both a touching story and an excellent delivery mechanism for a range of viewpoints about the Thai sex trade and the 'westernisation' of Thai culture. This is excellently supported by the author putting his various characters to good use; each from subtly different cultures and backgrounds, to explore a range of topics related to the main theme of the book. A good example is the discussion of American foreign policy in Chapter 29, which takes into account several new perspectives on the subject that may not otherwise be apparent to the reader. Likewise Ben's bar crawl with Jack Russell in Chapter 19 yields a fascinating alternative perspective on the Thai sex trade, with a thought provoking analogy between running a residential care home and the services offered by prostitutes. 'Prostitutes are members of a caring profession,' says Jack.

Jim G.

Message 7.

To Terry Scott,

Thanks so much for your long and thoughtful comment about Thai Girl which I found interesting and thought-provoking.

It all comes down to the words on the book's cover. Was Fon seductive, scheming and available, or was she modest, sweet and innocent... was it she who was the victim? Your conclusions on this are clear, that Ben thoughlessly did significant damage to her. I'm sure many readers would agree with you. But are you nonetheless a bit hard on Ben? In effect you say he was a shit who was only in Thailand to screw around. Perhaps he was just a typical immature lad out to have a good time. But one could say in his defence that he had stayed loyal to Emma, his first girlfriend for three years throughout university and that he was shocked at the split up. And rather than become a sex tourist he then single-mindedly pursued Fon even though he wasn't getting his way with her. If along the way a tasty Australian threw herself at him, then what a lucky guy he was!

Are you a bit tough on Emma too? You think her selfish and domineering, a 'man with tits' out for sexual adventures. Or was she perhaps weak and confused about her failing relationship with Ben and desparately uncertain about her future life? We don't really know what sexual contacts she had while she was on her own because she didn't tell Ben on the plane. All we know is that in terms of travelling alone and her self-confidence she did pretty well without him. I don't dislike her for that. But I'm intrigued by your comments and what's interesting for me is how differently readers interpret the character and behaviour of these two individuals. Often the males back Ben and the women back Emma!

You're a bit tough on some of the peripheral characters too. Are they really the lowest common denominator of druggie trash that I agree are all too common in Thailand? How about Darren? Yes, well... maybe! Immature, out for a good time, he is a reflection of current bored English lads perhaps. But Maca and Chuck surely have redeeming features, despite a liking for a spliff every so often. Maca is thoughtful and well-informed about Thailand and Africa. He is a serious traveller, while Chuck is gentle and sensitive and has a perceptive view of his own country as he takes time off and reorientates his life. None of them seem to have allowed themselves to become sex-tourists, Stewart admitting the need for self-restraint. I've seen many worse parasites in Thailand. And characters like Clarissa and Dutch act as foils for their younger friends and are solid enough.

Yes, some of the characters do take a dim view of older travellers, scenting a sex tourist if a man is over forty. Jack Russell is the only well-developed character in this category but is he unsympathetic too? Some readers say they like him for his directness and honesty about why he is in Thailand.

But you're right, the book does not look at the many normal and successful relationships that do exist across the cultures. The one reference is Ben's view that the sheer scale of sex-tourism makes all such relationships more difficult to carry on publicly. Every young Thai woman with a farang must be perceived to be a bar girl.

As you say commercial sex catering to tourists in Thailand is the tip of the iceberg... this becomes apparent to Ben when he discovers sex for sale both at the karaoke bar and the sing-a-song club in the small town in Buriram. Certainly Emma has a 'shock, horror' response to sex for sale in Bangkok which may be hypocritical or a consequence of European repression. When Ben and Emma meet on the plane to fly home, their conclusion is that what is most offensive is the apparent connivance of governments at the flaunting of sex tourism to earn tourist dollars, a practice that has done immeasurable harm to the reputation of Thai womanhood throughout the world.

So again it all comes down to the nature of the eponymous 'Thai girl'. Is she virgin or whore? Is she typically seductive, scheming and available or is it she who is the victim? As regards Fon, I find your conclusions interesting and am gratified that you have so consciously grasped the key issues that the book is all about. A lot of people read the book as an enjoyable story, which is fine by me, but you have looked deeper. I am also gratified that you like the idea of a sequel, though would a happy ending be realistic? Perhaps that would detract from these primary issues that you talk about that run throughout the book.

Andrew Hicks

Message 6.

Andrew,

I have just finished reading 'Thai Girl' and must say that it was an
enjoyable and thought provoking read.

I sympathised most strongly with Fon, whom I saw more as a victim rather
than a schemer. If you take the story at face value, and she really did
eventually fall for Ben, then it is rather a sad story. Even if Joy is her
daughter and Fon does have a boyfriend in the background, she has
compromised her position on Samet and opened herself up to someone who is
rather ignorant, selfish, shallow and thoughtless. Ben will presumably
quietly forget about her as he follows his legal career and meets other
girls. She will be left where she is, but with a tarnished reputation and a
bitter experience that will cloud any future dealings with male farang.
Ben is rather ignorant for someone who has supposedly graduated from
university, and weak when it comes to women. He is unable to see things as
they are, and as such, should never have been in Thailand with Emma in the
first place. This was emphasised when he met the Australian girl on Koh
Chang and in his dealings with Fon. I suspect, being male, that what he
really needed was 'to clear his tubes' and give his brain a chance. In some
respects, he is more reprehensible than the Farang who pay for sex. For the
latter, the moralities of commercial sex aside, dealings with the girls are
on a strictly commercial basis. Ben's impact on Fon is potentially rather
more serious as he has jeopardised her status in her society, as well as
damaging her personally.

For me, Emma could have been any one of any number of European women seen on
the backpacker trail in Asia. Selfish and domineering she was quite happy to
condemn the morals of others whilst happily indulging in the furthering of
her own sexual freedom, in contrast to the Thais that Ben was with. For me,
she was the personification of a 'man with tits'; a description memorably
used by one of the peripheral characters in the book.

I enjoyed the settings - you've obviously been to the places mentioned in
the book and the description of the Thai countryside and village life.
The Farang come in for a bit of a bashing, and I suppose that there must be
all sorts escaping from their pasts or reality in Thailand, but there were
not many characters I could sympathise with, not being into drugs and booze
myself. The Dutch character was one that I most liked, most of the others,
being the usual druggie trash found on Pang Ngan and Pattaya. These could
have been balanced by some other more normal travellers, who can be found in
Thailand. Middle aged Farang also get a bad write up, but not every one you
seein Thailand is a paedophile or sex tourist groping the locals. There are
many who have normal, happy and lasting relationships with Thai people
either in Thailand, or in Europe, but this aspect did not emerge in the
book. Why these men chose to have Thai wives over wives from other
nationalities is another matter that is worth a book in itself !

One fact about commercial sex in Thailand that did not emerge, is that the
tourist typically only sees what is on the surface. 95% of the sex industry
in Thailand caters to Thai and other asian males via coffee houses and
karaoke bars etc. The practice is endemic, and from what I have read, has
been for centuries. This does not condone it, but it does put the 'shock,
horror' response of the ignorant tourist into some perspective. Commercial
sex is available anywhere in the world if you look for it. The difference is
that Thai society is more tolerant of it, and probably less repressed than
our own, and that the media report it more readily when it is linked with
Thailand, than if it is linked with Torquay.

I would like to know if you planning a sequel, as I would love to know what
happened with Ben and Fon. Everyone loves a happy ending !

Message 5.

This was the first book in a while that I've picked up and not wanted to put down
until I'd finished. I was never quite sure how it was going to end. The book opened
my eyes to the kind of things that go on in Thailand that I had never considered
before and it taught me a lot. As for the characters, I thought Emma was brave going
off alone, Fon was lovely and such a strong person, and Ben was your stereotypical
uni student type who got off lightly with Emma!!

Message 4.

I am German and have not read a novel in English before. Thai Girl was the first
but I found it quite easy to read and enjoyed it. I live in Isaan with my
girlfriend so I found the book very interesting and very true. I felt I knew Fon
well.

Thai Girl did for me what a novel must do. It took me away from my own life and I
lived another life. I sat down for two days and read it from beginning to end and
was very lost in it. Yes, it is very good book.

Yeah, I really liked Thai Girl, you really captured how Thais act and think,
which isn't easy at the best of times. And your dialogue and descriptions of
island life are bang on. I liked the cover, too. A friend recommended it to
me and he really enjoyed it, too.

If you get the chance, try to get a copy of a DVD of the film Butterfly
Man....a friend of mine produced it last year...about a backpacker who falls
in love with a beach massage girl. I think your story works better!

Message 2

Andrew,
I enjoyed Thai Girl very much - especially the parts about Thai culture
and the general problems of the rural poor. What an achievement!!