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Message 11

Never again did I feel so sad that a book has actually come to an end. In reading through to the last pages, I couldn't help but wish there were hundreds more left. I truly, thoroughly enjoyed it. However, in finishing this excellent novel, I realised how much I learnt during the time it took me to read it. In my view, Andrew Hicks has been very succesful in teaching the reader a lot about the Thai culture and migrant workers, and the extraordinary thing is that he has done that in a very subtle way: when one reads the book, it can be taken as a pleasant story. But in a discreet and subtle way, I found that I was actually learning a lot. In fact, a lot can be said about this, which in my view is a unique skill that is not easily achieved.

In addition, I believe that the author has achieved this by providing a balanced point of view. Perhaps I thought that due to my own views in the different matters, but I thought that the author was not taking a 'patronising' approach to the issues that arose during the book. Instead, he allowed the reader to form his/her opinion (for example, on matters such as commercial sex, the migrant workers, the economy, the discussion on 9/11, etc).

The book was also very funny. The number of times I laughed out loud were numerous! Hicks's sense of humour is witty and a bit cynical. In particular, I very much enjoyed the way the author potrayed the different accents. Not only I found that very entertaining, I was highly impressed because in my view, he was spot on! I found myself reading these dialogues out loud, and based on my own experiences of meeting people from different countries, I have to say that he couldn't have expressed their accents on paper better!

As for the story itself, contrary to what some other readers have stated, I did not find that there was any mystery in the behaviour of the diifferent characters. Somehow I found myself understanding and sympathising with all of them, at least as far as the main characters go. Ben, Fon, Emma: it is easy to appreciate where there were all coming from. Emma's anger and disappointment towards Ben, Ben's confusion towards both women in his life, Fon's feelings towards the farrang and her decision to take a cautious approach. I thought that the characters made a lot of sense and their reactions were justified. In fact, this is what makes the book real: the author did not choose over-dramatic personalities. His characters were the antithesis of a typical 'hollywood' type of character. These were normal people with normal feelings and reactions. Like us, like our friends next door. That way you can relate and appreciate the characters much better than if there were extraordinary or very different to the rest of us.

In short, this is an educating, funny, entertaining and touching novel. I can hardly wait for the authors' next contribution to literature. I hope it won't be long.

Demetra Arsalidou

 

Message 12

Hello Mr. Hicks,

I have not read other people's letters so sorry if my comments are similar to other readers.

Your understanding of the Thai society seems to be OK, but I don't agree with you regarding Fon's interaction with Ben.

You also deliberately confuse us by not elucidating crucial details such as "is Joy Fon's daughter?", or "who is the mysterious boyfriend?".

Fon is 24 years old, an age when most rural women are long married and have already born children. She is not averse to men, she flirts with Ben, yet she doesn't consummate the relationship. By doing (or rather not doing) this she appears more as a "teaser" than a chaste woman. Other reasons for not "going all the way" do not correspond to her age: being younger, and therefore being (or trying to appear as) a virgin, or being older and having been burned by a former lover/husband.

I also believe that country folks have less hangups in privacy than you're trying to portray "Fon".

A good example (in this case between two Thai country people) is the courtship between the hero and the heroine in the Thai movie "Monrak Transistor". She resists his flirt, but when he buys her a transistor radio, and is about to be conscripted, she relents.

Fon's other alternatives are a Thai husband - she has told us that she doesn't trust them -, or to remain a spinster - which would be worse in Thai rural society than the "qu'en dira-t-on" of her relationship with a farang.

If she is devoted to her niece (or daughter) Joy, and her mother, common sense would dictate that she considers marrying Ben, combining love and a financial security for her relatives.

Her overly concern about what other people think about her being seen with a farang are exaggerated. Being with a farang means having overcome the financial burden of the family. Even for country folks money is a source of pride, and in most cases nobody cares how the person acquired his (her) wealth, which is not a concern for Fon, since everybody in her village know she is not a bargirl.

Thai country people have suffered too much hardship and humiliation, and being seen with a farang is sometimes a source of pride, especially with a decent character like Ben, who is also the same age as Fon.

On the other side the discussion on Bush between the backpackers seems very real, and reaffirms my belief about what the majority of the world thinks about America.

I still believe that the best description of a Thai girl is that of "Vilai", the "Number One Girl" in the book "A Woman of Bangkok", (originally titled "A Sort of Beauty"), written in the fifties by Jack Reynolds.

Incidentally, following the publication of the book, and despite writing under a pseudonym, the late Jack Reynolds (whose real name was Jack Jones), was disinherited by his Scottish missionary family.

Thank you for nice reading,

Marc Bogerd

You can find the book A Woman of Bangkok by Jack Reynolds on Amazon.com

Dear Marc,

Thanks for writing in about "Thai Girl". I'm glad you enjoyed the book and that it got you thinking.

Do I deliberately confuse you or is it Fon who is the deceiver and is taking Ben for a ride? Is she, as Jack Russell warns Ben, one of those women who tells the farang what she wants him to hear? You go on to suggest that Fon's behaviour is not typical of the rural Thai women you have met and that her behaviour is different. Perhaps these are the things that make Fon interesting, an enigma to the reader as much as to Ben.

Fon keeps reminding Ben that there is a price for a Thai woman being seen with a farang; the inevitable implication is that she is being paid for sex. In response to this, Thai women do not of course all behave uniformly. A rice farmer's daughter with little to lose who sees going with farang as a good career has to accept that price, while, as Dutch tells Ben, many families will not allow their daughters to go near a farang. Fon seems to fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. She claims to adhere to traditional principles, and she stands to lose a well-paid profession and to lose her reputation if she goes with Ben. As Clarissa says, for Fon to keep her reputation within a tight community of masseuses is both important and difficult. So it seems that Fon can stand on her own two feet and does not need to risk becoming dependent on men .

Fon is highly suspicious of men in general and hints to Ben that she has been taken in before by them but that she will not let herself be sweet-talked again. Or is there really a boyfriend in the background, possibly the father of Joy, and she is hoping to get back together with him. (Or is Fon really a ladyboy and herself the father of Joy? You have to keep asking the questions?!)

So unlike the women you talk about, Fon sees going with Ben as high risk and for whatever reasons she is determined not to be swept away by him. Knowing that her family will trust her to behave properly, she is able to take him home to Buriram, but is she now weakening, is she finally falling for him? This I hope is what keeps the reader intrigued and keeps you reading to the end. It's not a Hollywood ending but then life isn't like that either.

You are the second person recently to recommend the Jack Reynolds book to me. I must try to get hold of it. Are you based in Thailand or back home in France?

Thanks again and best wishes,

 

Message 13

Dear Khun Andrew,

I probably the first Thai who write to you as I have not seen any letters from Thais, or they might ask you to keep their letters privately as well as me. I do not often read English novel because I found it difficult. However, your book is very interesting so I needed to try. Similar to many Thais, my English is poor but I think you' d like to hear from the Thais too. But, sorry if I missed some things or got some things wrong.

I would say I enjoyed reading the Thai Girl so much, and thanks for easy (a bit) writing. I was glad that I got your sense of humour. The Thai English and pronunciation are very true. Your observation about Thai people at bars, restaurants, in rural areas, and people like Odin are also right. I can see that you worked hard really. The story and the people are very realistic, and it was your intentions to make this kind of story I guess. Characters like Ben and Emma are real, but I' m not sure about Fon's. It sounds like Fon is conventional, but was also seductive. These are very contrast, and made me confuse. Is this to explain Fon' s conflict inside? Anyway, this makes the book more fun and interesting.

I guess you intended to make the book both informative and emotional. At the beginning, the book seems to be more successful in giving information. It is more emotional and enjoyable when the relationship between Ben and Fon started, and I like that. I prefer a happy ending story but not for your book because your have tried to make it real.

For foreigners, information may be as much important because they need information as travellers, but for the Thais (me) it was some time a bit too long.

There were some informations about Thai women that are not quite right. May I explain some things about Thai women in families. Thai culture like most Asian countries, women are inferior to men but not as much as Chinese or Indian culture. Thai women do not always live with husband' families. This is really depend on many factors to make a decision.

There is no strict rule about this. Traditionally. more often, men move into women's families, and the youngest daugthers often get their parents house and look after their parents. So many times, people prefer to have daughters. Today, of course there are lots of problems between in-law so more people prefer to have their own houses. But this is rather different in chinese Thai families.

You are right about the Thais' preference of white skin, but not because they want to be white as central Thai people. Real central Thai people are actually quite tan, only people in the north and chinese Thais that are quite white. We actually like people with tan skin too, as long as they are beautiful! We have words tell the beauty of tan skin that say "even a monk wants to give up his status (to marry a tan woman)". The more popularity of white skin seems to be the effect of marketing.

Thank you for the good story and intelligent plots. It is interesting to know how foreigners think about Thai women and Thai cultures. I just realised that there are many books about Thai women from your website and when I was trying to get the Thai girl from book shops. I 'll try to read them too.

I hope many more Thais read your book, and perhaps someone want to translate it into Thai.

Best wishes,

Pimpimon

 

Dear Pimpimon,

I was so pleased to receive your message. Yes, you are the first Thai to write in though several Thais have spoken to me and told me they enjoyed the book. I hope many more will write to me as you have.

I am delighted that you too enjoyed the book, that you found it funny and true to life. Yes, I have spent a lot of time in Thailand, mainly family holidays when my children were younger. That is when I came to love Thailand and its people and culture, and it is now like a second home for me.

Yes, Fon seems traditional but is rather seductive at the same time. Perhaps she is confused about what to do, and Ben is very unsure how to read her signals. Is she telling him the whole truth and what does she really want from him? But is this so unusual? I'm sure you can think of friends who are a bit like that, who are fun and playful with men, flirtatious even but who mean very little by it and really intend to keep themselves for a long term partner.

I found your comments about white skin and marriage customs particularly interesting and must make a few chamges to the book for a future edition. Yes, the Thai people are among the best looking in the world and it is sad if people want to be white or have cosmetic surgery for their nose or eyelids, just so they can imitate another race. That is the power of the media and marketing!

As to marriage, it is I believe the Chinese custom for the girl to move to the husband's family home and for that her family is compensated with a bride payment. As you say, for Thais it is more varied, though a sinsot payment is usually made. I think though as somebody says in the book, a farmer's daughter probably fears the situation where she has to move in with her new husband's family and her mother-in-law turns out to be a nightmare. By being independent and going away to Bangkok or Pattaya she can avoid all that.

Well,thank you again, Pimpimon. It is very important to me to have a Thai readership and I hope you will pass on the book to your friends. And even I hope persuade some of them to write to me!

With best wishes,

Andrew

 

Message 14

Dear Andrew,

I'm writing this note to you for two seperate reasons: firstly, I have a feeling that I am about to become involved with a Thai woman and would be interested to hear your(or your readers') perspectives on this; secondly, because I would like to raise the question of how best to support the prevention forced migration/prostitution.

Please feel free to publish some, or all, of this letter on your forum.

However, first of all, I would like to congratulate you on an excellent book. From your short biography, it would appear that you beat me to Thailand by about ten years. I've never lived there for more than 3 months, but have visited so many times that I've lost count: initially as a backpacker, then as a more "up-class" tourist, and in recent years a couple of times on business. I think your accurate and detailed observations of the way that visitors react in the Thai environment, and the way that the Thais react to "us", are absolutely first rate.

Whenever I looked up from the pages, I regularly had to think for a few seconds to remember that I was not in Thailand! I could not put your book down because it so well portrayed, and then offered explanations for, or perspectives on, the many customs and behaviours I have witnessed, but not always understood, whilst in Thailand. Furthermore, it provokes challenging questions about migration and the sex industry - questions around which there is a lot of shotgun moralising, but for which there are no easy answers - as I think you have indicated through your book.

Let me start with the simpler of my two reasons for writing. For several years I have been thinking that I would like to do something to help "save" potential, forced sex workers from their fate. As a matter of fact, and by pure coincidence, I once ended up illegally smuggling a Latino woman accross a European border in order for her to escape the brothel. She had been told by "friends" that she was going to work in a restuarant and would earn good money. Once there, not speaking the language and with no money of her own (not even enough to pay for a train ticket to escape - even if she had been able to get accross the border) she was in hell. She managed to call a friend, who called me, and I agreed to meet her and transport her back to where she had come from (and was also living as an illegal immigrant). I will never forget how she spent the whole night sobbing to herself because of the one night of work she had performed. And it also made me realise that I wanted to help like this again if I could.

So, my question is: do you, or your readers, know of any charities or organisations which aim to prevent forced migration/prostitution? I would like to stress here that I am only talking about forced migration and/or prostitution. Personally, I do not believe prostitution per se is wrong. Especially after reading your novel, it would seem to me that a relatively modest amount of money would be enough to support a poor rural family to such an extent that it would not be necessary for the children to be forced into the sex business.

Concerning my second reason for writing: on a recent business trip to Thailand, I met, and had dinner with, a 19 year old Thai engineering student. Even before reading your novel I was well aware of theconservativism surrounding relationships with Thai women: it was a nice dinner, a pleasant coversation, and that was all. And that is also all I was expecting. However, before I was even on the plane back, the SMS email exchange had started. And then continued. And now, even though we only ever met for one single dinner, we have organised a trip to Koh Samui together, staying in a bungalow on the beach. And that is not what I expected at all. In contrast to my picture, and experience, of the Thai culture, which is consistent with your novel, our upcoming trip to Samuii seems to me to be an extremely forward and liberal approach for an educated Thai woman. I can also not understand why she is so readily prepared to endure the innevitable assumptions (also described in your book) of all the Thai and foreign people who will see us together. Naturally I plan to talk about this with her when we meet.

However, I would be interested to get your, or your readers', comments about this. Again consistent with your book, my understanding of the Thai culture, was that women are either bar girls or totally respectable and conservative with very little, or nothing, in between. Is this now changing? Is there now a new generation of middle-class, young Thai women emerging, who are more liberated, adventurous, independent, and less constrained by the assumptions of those who observe a them together with a farang?

I am 38 years old, divorced with no children, live and work in Europe, and although I am not a "corporate star", I do have a good, comfortable career with a large multinational company. I am a very versatile Thai cook, but cannot speak the language, other than a quite large vocabulary of classical Thai dishes - aroy aroy.

I look forward to any replies, and congratulate you again on your book!

Kind regards,

Allan

Switzerland

 

Message 15

Hi Andrew,

Well I finally finished your book after numerous delays. So when are you publishing the next one?

Here are my comments: I thought you developed Ben and Fon's characters quite well and it gives a realistic insight into many social issues in Thailand. I also felt that the ending was quite realistic. Ben's character reminded me in many ways of myself as a young guy in the Navy. Ben's typical "love 'em and leave 'em" behavior is why you see so many Thai gals married to older farangs.

You also explained why Thais do certain things and how they think, which I thought was very enlightening.

The beginning of the book seemed a little slow to me but, just as I was getting impatient (a fault of mine), it started to pick up and moved at a good pace through the rest of the book. If you haven't heard that before, it is probably just my perception.

I thought your representation of the Thai people was very accurate as far as it went, however, it had a little of the "looking through rose colored glasses" effect. Poor Thai people seem to be happier than their counterparts in other Asian nations. They are indeed fun loving and sponaneous. They certainly can be generous and helpful.

However, many are corrupt, selfish and amazingly greedy. Sometimes farangs don't treat the Thais very well, however, the worst treatment that I've seen Thais receive has been from other Thais.

And we don't need to discuss the courtesy of Thai drivers!! So I don't think your book was critical of Thai culture - far from it.

As far as the diatribe against Americans and their foreign policy, I'll just put that down to another Brit who is still mad about the Revlolutionary War!! Seriously, we certainly have our faults and I don't think we should have invaded Iraq for many reasons. But to be fair and balanced, I believe that Sadam, the Taliban and other Islamic extremists have killed far more people than were killed by the war in Iraq. Most Post-War deaths, if we can call them that, were really not the fault of America except to the extent that they under estimated the insurgency. If the insurgents simply want the Americans to leave, they could help establish law and order.

History has shown that the Americans, unlike many European nations, never made a serious effort to colonize other nations and would probably be happy to leave quickly as we did in the first Gulf War.

One other comment: The book did not read as you would expect based upon the cover. I assume that was an intention to appear a bit more "racy" to attract buyers who might pass up a more staid cover.  Accurate guess?

My comments are intended to be constructive and I really did enjoy the book. I will certainly buy a copy of your next book. I haven't seen you in any B2S book stores yet so I assume you still haven't cracked that market. Or on a more optimistic note, maybe they have just sold out!

Best regards,

Don Watson

 

Message 16

Hi Andrew, I have read your book "Thai Girl" and enjoyed it very much. I went to Thailand in early December and spent two weeks there and enjoyed the country and the people very much. This was my first visit to Thailand but will not be my last. Reading your book I found myself looking at me and the Thai woman I met there. She spent time with me and travel with me, but also kept a distance between us just like Fon did with Ben, which is I think a natural thing so they will not be hurt in the end.

The woman I met knocked me off my feet the first time I saw her. She is beautiful and one of the only Thai's I met that enjoyed laying out in the sun to have darker skin. One of your readers made mention that some Thais like darker/tan skin.

People all around the world have this image of Thailand as nothing but drugs and sex 24/7 and nothing could be further from the truth. I told a few friends that Thailand was more than that and you could find the sex and drugs in every city around the world. Thailand is a beautiful country and the people are warm and friendly. The Thai woman I met, I told her up front I wanted her to spend time with me and that she did not have to perform. I was more interested in having her company and learning about her and the Thai people. She was a little shocked, but thanked me for respecting her as a woman and not as a sex object. That is where I was like Ben in a way. He wanted Fon, but was not going to push it with her. He, as I wanted it to happen naturally.

I can see families sending their daughters off to Bangkok to work in what ever trade they could do. The sad part is most do end up as bar girls selling themselves to any frang that comes along. I saw the bars lined up in the streets and sat and watched the girls try to get frangs to come in and have a drink. I felt sorry for them, but knew this was a way of life in Thailand and sometimes just as in your book most of the money went to support their families.

Again I enjoyed your book and actually learned a few thing from it. I remain in contact with my Thai Lady friend and will go back to visit and learn more about Thailand.

Regards,

Bob Johnson

 

Message 17

Andrew,

Thank you for a great story -- the very same story I am living now.  I met a beautiful young girl named Koh at Jomtien Beach six years ago. She was doing  beach massages with her aunts, and was 22 years old working to finish  university. I was 34 then, and we spent much time together, always with a family  member present. She was both affectionate and pushed me away, which drove me  absolutely crazy. We held hands when no one was looking, but could never, ever  kiss, even when we snuck away.  Fast forward to 2005 -- I ended up marrying another Thai girl, and Koh married a guy from England, the first man she was ever intimate with. Only both of our marriages did not work out the way we had  planned, and now we are both separated and seeing each other again! And again the complexities begin -- still the need to have a family member present, and  still she is "hot" and "cold" towards me at unexpected times. The Thai culture is hard to penetrate, and your book allowed me to see that I am not alone in  facing this challenge. I bought your book on Koh Samet while I was there with  Koh, who is from Rayong. I will see her again in two weeks, and she now wants  to read your book because I told her you wrote our story. Your words are very valuable to the many who will be able to see their own lives in the pages of  Thai Girl. Thank you so much.

James J. Miller

 

Message 18

Dear Andrew

You can't judge a book by its cover and nothing truer could be said of "Thai Girl". Several of my friends gave me funny looks while I was reading this book as they made certain assumptions about its content. If only they knew what it was really about. I have made many visits to Thailand over the past nine years. During that time I have learnt a lot about the country. I have been fortunate through my relationships with certain Thai people to see and learn many things about the country. There are so many wonderful things about Thailand and the kindness and generosity of the Thai people is extraordinary. However, I like to think of the fact that there is the land of smiles and the land of not-smiles. Unfortunately most foreign visitors only see the land of smiles and remain happily ignorant of the land of not-smiles.

I really like the sensitive way you have captured the two worlds inyour book. I think your writing about the experience of a foreign traveller and a young Thai woman are realistic and accurate. Thank you for writing this book. I will definitely recommend it to anyone who wants to know more about Thailand. best regards

David Reid

 

Dear David,

I was really pleased to receive your message and your comments about "Thai Girl". Perhaps the cover induces some of the more thoughtless tourists into reading the book and perhaps having some of the tough reality of being a poor migrant worker pointed out to them. So many visitors treat Thailand as an adventure playground and the women as a free for all and I hope the book makes them stop and think. I like your way of putting the converse to the land of smiles. It is so easy to be seduced by it on holiday and to skate over the surface.

Thanks for you kind comments. I appreciate them enormously. I am so glad you enjoyed the book. And do pass on the word to your friends and perhaps get them to write to me as well. I am in Isaan at present where I am living and it's getting hotter!

Where are you? Still in Thailand or back to Northern climates?

With thanks and best wishes,

Andrew.

 

Message 19

Hi

I bought this book at Phuket Airport on my way back home and finished reading it in about 30 hours,  even though I spent some 24 hours of that in planes and airports where I normally lack concentration to  focus on reading.

Definitely a nice book, I could easily relate to Ben having experienced something similar during my  previous trips to Thailand.

Thanks

Tero Pikala

 

Message 20

Hello Andrew,

I am a 60 year old Australian male. I have visited Thailand and its neighbours several times in recent years.

I read your book during my most recent trip. I was on Ko Samet at the time! On my first reading, I must be honest and say that I thought it was a bit "light".

Good for a holiday browse but not much more. However, I am now back in Oz and have just completed the read yet again.

And this time it made me think - this time I heard the messages. This time I identified the characters because I have surely met all of them many times during my travels.

I too am an author (children's books) and publisher. Many friends have urged me to write something based on my journeys through SE Asia.

Your penmanship may just have motivated me in that direction. Thankyou and good luck to you.

Sincerely

David Ridyard

 

Dear David,

Many thanks for your message which I found intriguing.

Yes, I think the book can be read at different levels, as an easy poolside read and also as carrying some important messages about the impact of travellers on Thai people of all sorts, and especially the young women.

Some visitors to Thailand skim over the surface because that's what they want from a holiday, and the same could be said of readers of the book.

Different people see different things in it, but I do hope it can be thought-provoking about Thailand.  I think that's what a travel novel should be.

Good luck with your writing and publishing.  Incidentaly I have just signed a contract with Monsoon Books in Singapore and it's possible if they are successful in promoting "Thai Girl" that it will later appear on the shelves in Australia.

Thanks again and best wishes,

Andrew.